I'm have deformities on my body that makes me look unusual, due to this I have been hiding from the world for a long time. This has put me into a deep depression, I feel worthless because I have no friends. I would love to get back into life but between my depression, nervousness and appearance I have had no luck. Does anybody have any experieence with a situationn like this, does anybody have any ideas what I can do to improvee my situationn?

Hello Seekingpeace,
I don't know what to tell you. I don't know your situation with your body but I do want you to know that I saw your post and if you want someone to listen, I am here.

Chat is also a great place to meet people. Have you visited the chat here? Lots of nice folks.

(((((((((((((Seekingpeace))))))))))))) hugs for you.

how bad are the deformities? can they be covered-up or diminished in some way? have you always had them? if you can play them down, you could work on getting back some confidence, and little by little, work your way back into the world at a rate at which you feel comfortable.

What's the old saying...seek and you shall find? If it's peace you're seeking, be aware that it might not come in the exact form that you're expecting it to. I haven't walked in your shoes, so I won't insult your intelligence by saying that I know what you're going through. Until you've walked in someone else's shoes, you can't possibly know what kind of heartache they may have experienced. My advice to you, however, is this: Take baby steps. Don't put yourself out there more than you're comfortable with. I hope that the key for you to take your life back, rests in your own hands, not anyone else's. It's obvious that you want to reclaim your life badly. Such yearning, coupled with your determination, will serve you well in your efforts. Commit yourself to one small goal. I WILL go to the store today. Next time, I WILL say hello to at least one person I see in the store. Small steps will add up to BIG progress. You KNOW there will be some who have certain reactions to your deformities (this is only a guess, because I haven't seen you). Please keep in mind, that this is a natural reaction when someone sees something out of the ordinary. It doesn't mean that they think you are gross, or less than a person. People tend to notice things that are different - it's who we are, yourself included. Unless they're just nasty to you, take the high road and just assume that they're curious, not judgmental. A small smile and a slight nod will probably be all it takes to get a smile in return. I believe that most of the population would choose to be polite, rather than to scorn someone. The few that would choose the latter, are to be ignored. Give them no more of your attention than you would give to your shoe laces. Not that much even. In your quest to get the life that you want and deserve, try to choose your battles. Focus on the ones that you win, not the ones you lose. After all, isn't it better to lose a few battles, but to ultimately win the war? There are many kind and wonderful people in this world. Try to surround yourself with them as much as possible and seek support from the people who love and care about you. If you can't find it at home, then look elsewhere. It's obvious to me, you can surely find quite a few allies in this forum. My fondest wish, at this moment in time, is that you find the peace that you are looking for.

Eve

This post was last modified: 06-19-2008 01:04 PM by EveWasFramed.

Hi there seekingpeace,

I have a deformity. I have scoliosis of the spine and its a double curve. I also have one leg that's shorter then the other. Its not that its just shorter but dose not work as it should do and I have to fro my hip kinder-off so I can walk. Well its not terrible but it is bad enough that ppl well look at me if am out. So I do know how down this can make you. I don't go swimming ever. I mean it would look for to bad with no top on. I don't normally let it get to me. I am the sort of person that don't normally let what other ppl think off me get to me ether. But on a red hot summers day you would not fined me out with out a top on.
But ye it hurts when I look in a mirror, This has got me down a lot and still dose sometimes. But most of the time even though inside it never stops hurting I just make the best out of what I do have as that's all you can do really. Sometimes I holed it together and sometimes not. We would not be human if we did not get down about it.

You can see how down I get sometimes here

I would not expect you to read all that. There is a link to a blog I done in the first post tho.

I well say one thing though. I had some new trainers (sneakers) once. Well I had put a rise in the left one as I always have to do and I was trying to get the limp to look less noticeable. I asked quit a few of the ppl that know me if it looks any better. Every one of the ppl I asked said the same thing. "oh, I never notice anyway" See the only ppl that look at me is the ppl that don't know me. When a person gets to know me they don't see the deformity's. I would say my personality is bigger then my deformity or the way I walk. Your personality and the way you think and look at life is something you can change about yourself. With saying that it still dose get me down real good sometimes. I am working on it tho.

This post was last modified: 06-19-2008 06:53 PM by Bluey.

I'm with EveWasFramed here, take your time and work slowly towardss a new goal, for instance making internet friends and working from there, I don't understand what your going through but I know it's not easy for you, try posting a bit more on here so you become familiar with everyone else, I thought some of the threads were boring when I first came and it wasn't until I took an interest in them that I found myself after reading many posts becoming more willing to put the effort in and join in ........ yey now my days and nights are less boring.

Talking to people here is a good start. Also, there are forums and chat rooms for people with physical problems. Depending on where you live, there may be groups you can join locally that provide some kind of social interaction with people that understand what you're going through. I'm not saying you HAVE to talk to people in the same situation as you, it just might make you a little more comfortable...especially if you haven't been social very much lately.

If it makes you feel any better, I don't have a physical deformity and have no social life either....perfect person to be offering advice, don't you think?

Hope you find the peace you seek...

Thank you all for your caring, these last few years I have felt like an alien, it seemed the world was someplace I had no business being in. Its nice to know ppl care and that there r some that can relate, as I am typing this I am going through one of my bouts of anxiety, I have no one to talk to because I dont want to burden my fam even more. To get back into the world seems a heavy task, I cant even give myself foolish confidence, I guess its going to be day to day. thank u all.

Peace,

Something you may not have considered....
Some people LIKE to help others overcome adversity. It gives them a sense of worth and/or accomplishment. Trust me, anyone who feels like its a burden, WON'T be posting here. The only people who reply to your posts will be caring people who actually want to help. Otherwise, they wouldn't be taking time out of their busy day to reply. I hope what you've read here helps. Remember, baby steps, dude. *smiles*