Strange thing is someone stood up for me in highschool against a bully once and I snaped pretty sharply at them It's like your not able to stand up for yourself and now someone else is which just makes you feel even lower.

Bullies try to feel better about themselves by putting others down.

I got bullied my freshman year in high school. It happened about once or twice a week by different groups of people. At the end of the school year, I experienced a particularly bad episode. A handful of seniors brought along their little 8th grade "apprentices" along and bullied me outside of a local movie theater. They took my money, kicked me around, and spit their drinks in my face. I was never so humiliated in my life. I realized that it wasn't ever going to stop unless I did something about it. After that moment, I made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone push me around like that again, and I stuck to it.

I went after every single person that ever bullied me, and bullied them back. If they ever walked by me, I'd push them or stare them down. I'd cuss and laugh in their face. I basically did anything I could to try and aggravate them, but they wouldn't retaliate; before the beginning of sophomore year, I had attacked some kids with a steel pipe (along with some of my friends from a different school), and everyone knew about it. I also didn't keep it a secret that I carried weapons around with me. By the end of sophomore year, every single person that had pushed me around before was too scared to even look me in the face.

Of course, when you undergo such extreme personal changes, your life circumstances are bound to change, too. I was still friends with all the "geeks" and "nerds" at my high school, but I also started hanging out with a lot of kids who were in gangs (partly in case any of the people I pushed around decided to get me back). I started getting into LOTS of trouble; I started ditching school, getting into fights, shoplifting, etc. My family, along with many of the families in my community, were terrified of me (they told me this years later). I got called in to the police station more than once for things I didn't even do. My reputation was so bad, that anytime there was trouble people naturally assumed I was involved. Eventually, I got kicked out of my high school, got put on probation, and became even more violent.

I went from being a nice, shy kid to an extremely violent, hateful individual. A part of me feels glad that I did it; I learned to stand up for myself, and not back down to people no matter how big or scary they appeared. On the other hand, I regret all the damage I caused to other people. I made it a point only to push around those that tried to do it to me, but I'm sure I probably did it to some innocent kids, too.

I remember, one day, being told by a friend that he overheard some guy calling me a bully. I ended up becoming the very thing I hated so much. Some days, I just sit and shake my head, unable to believe all the crazy crap I used to do as a teenager. Nowadays, I try to take the peaceful route at all costs. I've realized that violence only feeds into more violence, and it can turn a person into something truly ugly.

Some of you say you'd stand up for yourselves and fight back. At that age, though, you don't know what would have happened. Things could have spiraled out of control for you, like it did with me. When I first started out, I didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. It took me a lot of years to bounce back from that -- to train myself not to have that violent mentality anymore. When you see the faces of the people that pushed you around filled with fear, the feeling you get becomes addicting. You start wanting everyone that ever hurt you to feel that fear.

I feel so bad about being bullied, all the up until college. The truth is that the bullies are out of control. There's never anyone to stop them. I'd say about 1% of bullies actually get caught. Think about it, if they didn't aggravate you, then you wouldn't have become violent. The sad thing is I never told any teachers cause I would afraid of what would happen if they found out. I didn't want to get beat up really bad so I tolerated the bullying. It's a really dangerous problem.

I was also bullied in high school, mainly because of glasses and being shy and a nerd, but somehow I always had enough of aggression in me to stand up for myself, athough I was (still am) a small skinny girl. My dear bullying classmates had quickly grasped the fact that trying to push me around was not a very bright idea, so they limited themselves to trading insults. I even retaliated against the obviously stronger opponents too, in which cases I often ended up flying a few meters back onto the ground. Yeah, it wasn't very wise but it allowed me to retain respect for myself so I can't say that bullying left any negative trace on my life. Worse than the physical bullying was psychological, however. I was constantly mocked because of the aforementioned glasses and back then I reacted to that very sensitively. Now I've gotten over that silly notion, of course.

This post was last modified: 02-28-2008 02:26 AM by Silvernight.

This might sound odd...but I been bullied and have been a bully myself

Loosens his troll wacker in his belt... Just in case..

I think actually it was the insults that do the most damage. Its obverse what has happened with the physical stuff and if that gets to bad then someone somewhere is going to notice something is
wrong.

With the name calling it dose just as much damage but is well hidden. Its not even really about the name calling but if your being picked on in that way no one else is going to be your friend as they don't wont to be called along with you. Its all physiological and some ppl take it with them into adult life where as some ppl don't. I would say am over everything that happened at school now. But I do know ppl that are not and probably never well be. problem with the verbal side of bullying is the only way that is going to stop is if the person on the receiving end tells the necessary ppl. And the longer that goes on the less likely that person is going to say something. It ruins confidence and if it happens when young it can lead to other problems in life.

I well say again ppl that get bulled need to know its nothing that they have done and is nothing to be ashamed of and need to start talking. Bullies do not like other ppl to know whats happening.

No one is an island

That doesnt sound odd. Its a common thing actually.

I think that ppl probably bully for different reasons now. To fit in, to prove something to them self are just cos they don't realise the damage there doing and are having fun at other ppl's expense.

Ether way its not on and should be stopped be for real damage gets done.

well, i got bullied quite a lot in school. i moved around a lot when i was a kid, so i kept changing schools in the middle of terms, which meant i was always the new girl and always on the outside, so i was always an easy target. i'd like to say i fought back, or i had enough strength and self-respect to not take it... but i didn't.

In my old school there was this one kid who had the same name as me and we were always made fun of. As the years went by I became a pretty big guy and people stopped messing with me (I didnt rise to the bait and hung out with a giant football player who suprisingly was a nerd) while he remained a short skinny guy. Whenever he got pushed around I felt like I should have helped out, I knew I could have and noone would really care to much....but I felt it better that I just stand back and not get involved, last I heard someone beat him up pretty badly for standing up to them and I feel its my fault for not helping him years ago. I could have been a good person and done the right thing but I chose to sit back and laugh with the rest of the crowd....even if I knew it was wrong on the inside.