Like the title says, and how did (or do) you feel about it?

Did it have any kind of effect on you?

they dont expect much from me
but then they do

it depends on what much is..
they expect me to have kids..the end

what about your parents and you?

This post was last modified: 10-04-2008 09:18 AM by jales.

Well I know my dad expected (or really hoped) that I would finish college.
Both my brother and sister never did, so he was very disappointed when I didn't finish my third year.

What really made me feel like shit at the time, was that I found out through my brother's wife that he was disappointed with me!
She told me, not him. I had to go to my dad and ask him straight out. I couldn't believe he had told someone who wasn't even part of the family at the time. That was just wrong. However, my dad never seem to talk about anything personal with the person it concerns.
It's all "let's sweep it under the rug and dwell on it for eternity".

Anyway, if he wants to feel disappointed with me for that then he may. What's important is that I don't feel disappointed with myself.
We've had an alright relationship afterwards. I've never told him the reason why I didn't finish my last year, mainly because I was too emotional back then to have a rational conversation with him. It doesn't really bother me now so I don't think it's necessary to tell him now.

They expect quite a bit from me. I don't know if it's good or bad...
My mother doesn't have a university degree, and my father has something that you could consider a bachelor degree if he had taken it now. I’m the first born, and from my mothers’ side, it would mean that I have to set a good example for the rest of the kids. Meaning, not just my siblings, but my cousins that are younger that me too...
Education is the big thing in my family… and everything else doesn’t seem to matter much…

I haven't had a year off since I started first grade... even though I just finished my bachelors last year ( I took 4 years to do a 3 year program), and in high school I did the same (used 4, when I was supposed to do it in 3). If they hadn't pushed me I would have given up long time ago (I am a slow learner, with very little patience)… now I’m taking a master... school never ends it seems...

Deep down I think I know they're proud of me. My father is. My mother... hmm... it depends on what day it is... it seems she's never happy with me. So fare, I’ve manage to do what they've expected; only I’ve used 2 extra years on doing it (what a catastrophe…).

Everything else in my life, my mothers’ not happy with how I’ve done things, and how I am doing things… “Why can’t you kids ever learn? Why do you have to be so stupid?!”… etc, my father thinks I’m doing quite alright.

My mother expects me to get married, raise many children and have happy life.

Needless to say I will fail majorly like I fail in everything I try.

Both my parents expect a lot from me academically.
My mother has a doctorate in internal medicine and has not one but two doctors licenses, so basically I've always been expected to be among the top students of my year. Unfortunately, it seems I have not inherited my parents' intelligence or academic motivation. Not to say that I'm stupid, just that they're both very smart. I am not at the top of my year in school, though I suppose if I had tried I'd be in the top 15 or 20 out of my class of around 400. Either way, I'm not a good enough student nor am I smart enough to impress them. They're both disappointed in me, though my mother gets quite irritated when I ask her if this is true.

Of course my parents expected a lot of out me.
The only damn problem was.... no matter what I did, I wasn't good enough.

I freaken stopped getting drunk and high at a young age.
I went to college, I join the service.
I was making over $50,000 a year @20.
I settle down and raised a family.
I freaken became a manager of a company.
Bascailly I did want i was suppost to do and had a cozy life.
But there was a part of me that felt fucked up or broken.

I'm ACOA...yes it really fucked me up. In more ways than I could imagine.
You can google and reserch..lol

My father nevered attended any of my games.
He nevered attended any of my concerts or I played.
It's no damn wonder i have a hard time accepting praise from people, beucase I never recieved
it from my parents.

I had to work really really hard becuase my value as a person hinged
on the love from my father that I freaken never got.
He hasn't even heard any of my songs or music I wrote.
Hell they didn't even know I was left hand until I told them
last year and it probably dosn't even matter. Just little stuff
like that.

For the longest time I freaken felt worthless becuase no matter what i did,
it wasn't good enough. I had a damn tape playing in my head consicously
or sub-consicousely

This post was last modified: 10-04-2008 11:14 AM by Lonesome Crow.

Well, my father (foster father actually, I never saw my real father except on a wedding photo) has always expected me to earn millions/ become a very rich and influential person (no shit, he does!). He's only interested in that, not anything else, and has never been. Do I even need to say I do not quite meet these standards? In a way, it's the same as not having a father at all. Any such concepts as "love" or "affection" or genuine interest in what I think, feel or like to do are completely wasted on him, he's only ever been interested in $$. It's not just me, my sister is his real daughter and his attitude towards her is no different. Granted he himself works a lot, is self-employed. In fact, he has no such concept as "vacation" in his vocabulary either. He's never gone on one, and naturally, fails to understand when others do it. In his eyes, anything you do must have the ultimate goal of bringing loads of $$. Otherwise, it's a waste of time. Well, you got the general idea. My relationship with him is, what you might call, non-existent. I just try to avoid being in the same room too much, he bitches at everyone all the time (that is except if you happen to be rich and influential). Doesn't matter about what, may be anything. Such as, how come I still don't have an overflowing bank account. And gets on with the suggestions, one stupider than another, as to how I'm supposed to get it.

My mother, on the contrary, never pressured me into anything. If not for her support, I don't know whether I would have lasted until now. For someone who has always been top of the class, I have very little to no self-confidence. Getting top marks has always been my way to compensate for the lack of social skills and the absence of a circle of friends. I'm currently a freelance translator, freelance partly because there are no better opportunities for someone of my profession in my city. It wouldn't be bad but the greatest downfall of it is that you can go for a week or even more sometimes without being offered any work. Like now, for instance. I do feel rather miserable and worthless in such cases, like that I should do something but I don't know what.

worst than except much of u , is compare u to elder brothers specially if they are so successful in life. which happened to me
but i guess u get used to it by time to just ignore it and live with it

By and large, I think I've met my parent's expectations. They weren't huge. Find something I love to do, and pursue it. Be able to be independant. I have my own appartment and an OK job, and I'm pursuing a fire/EMS career.

But my dad gave me the "You're the last of the Hutchersons" talk a couple of times when I was younger. And every other time I visit them, they give me the 'so when are you going to get a girlfriend?' routine.

I usually answer with a canned 'I dunno' or 'Too busy with work' response, but sometimes I just wanna yell at em that it aint that easy. You aren't exactly a chick magnet when you have poor self image and turn into a ball of akward social anxiety any time there's a girl your age around.

Besides a 1-week stand I wish I could forget, I've had 2 girls that showed the tiniest interest in me even though neither worked out. So that gets em off my back some. But I'm just waiting for them to move on from 'Where's your girlfriend' to 'When are you getting married?'.