Kermit, your awareness of the self-esteem issue being motivated, or lead, by the media rather than your own doing, means you haven't internalized it as being your fault, or something you did to cause members of the opposite sex not to fall all over themselves for your attention. That being said, it doesn't prevent us from being disappointed in those who follow that media belief and miss out on wonderful human connections and relationships because the persond doesn't fit the media "ideal". Kermit, I'm going with the assumption that you are male (only because of the id name). If that's the case, I'm going to suggest that you try and follow another time-tested popular "norm" (sorry Aaron, another typical "common wisdom") and be the man who totally courts a woman you're interested in. Be the guy who shows the real romantic side (this is not the disgusting, sloppy, sex-riddled type, this is the old-fashioned romance). Will it work on the woman you chose, who knows. If not, find another you are intersted in. (dating with real style rather than just to date). You will find a woman who becomes completely enraptured by your show of romance, and will have the same returned to you.

Everyone responds both on deep emotional levels and also more shallow to a pretty face. Indeed, what is more mythological and artificial than the compartmentalization between tender romance versus drooling hormones? You claim to wish another might see past your exterior. But when anyone however desirable to you likewise just thinks that you're cute, I bet you'll be giddy as a school girl! It's all good. Never confuse style and substance.

Style gets you there, substance keeps it going. I left the popular scene back in my college days, not really even sure those boys had "style" back then, but they sure were cute. :-)

Teach, I think you said it well. Style attracts, substance makes it last, makes a relationship blossom and grow.

Thank you, LG. :-)

Teach, can you PM me and tell me more about your current relationship...just curious.

I remember the cute college boys..unfortunately, NONE of the men I've been attracted to, with few exceptions, have asked me out!

Dare you be more aggressive and take the initiative, then?

Not really good at taking the initiative or being aggressive. Would much rather have that be the "man" role, probably my Southern, mountain upbringing. I like the guy being "in charge", showing the strong, dependable soul (with the tweaking of female influence). :-)

Being forward might be a thrill. But in the alternative, you can always be traditionally feminine, and let them think their leading if only you do show interested and provide openings and channels of contact, rather than trepidation, obstacles, distance and rejection.

Aaron, in my case...as you can probably tell...I'm usually not shy.

I remember having this HUGE crush on a Palestinian guy in college. I really really liked him. And I flirted endlessly, but he never asked me out...