Yes, that is what im saying. and your not on the edge of dieing, if you are its once again your own doing.

Did you ever think that if you actually tried to meet someone you very much could find yourself in a relationship? Never going on a date would be because you have never asked a girl to one, never talked to a girl, never even tried, no wonder.

Your life is full of shit because you are filling it with it, you are making your life 100 times shitter then what it is. If you just got over all your little problems, you would have a perfectly normal life. Thinking about suicide is the wrong way to think, i would be thinking, gee what am i doing wrong? and actually take responsibility of your life.

Im glad you want a happy life, and really mean it. Thats the most important thing.
Im sorry if i seam like im being mean, but i want to help you. i want you to realise that your life can be fixed so easily, just learn how to talk to people, force yourself into uncomfortable situations, start to interact with people. i mean you go to school!! you can meet so many people your age so easily! You would be suprised how a far a little "hello" can go. You never know, someone could have a crush on you and never say because there just like you. Anyway, look on the bright side mate.

Hey Chris,

Truth is that in order to start getting out of the pit of depression you're obviously in, you need to start thinking in more positive terms. This forum is a great place but no amount of posting depressive stuff will get you out of your current condition if you don't actually do anything about your attitude. I'm not saying you must not post and share your feelings, just that you need to change your attitude towards life. Now, how to do this you're going to ask. You must realize that unhappiness is a state of mind. Being always unhappy isn't getting you anywhere, in other words, it sucks, you feel like shit, which seriously gives enough reason not to stick to that way of thinking eh? Your mind is just a tool which can be trained to obey your orders. You must tell your mnd firmly that you are going to stop feeling depressed from this moment on and start upon your journey to recovery. Now, you will probably say that I'm feeding you some sort of simplistic crap. But I'm not talking out of my ass, it's what helped me to get out of depression. I couldn't bear being depressed any more so I told myself to just DROP IT. And felt better at once. Which only proves that depression is about your own attitude. (I mean if it isn't caused by very specific grave problems, such as a loss of a loved one). Then, as you decide you want to become a happier person from now on, go ahead figuring out what would you like to do with your life. Don't rush with it, take the time you need. Then start taking up measures to achieve that goal. I'm a firm believer that having a goal and working towards it, be it a marriage with three kids or becoming a rocket scientist, is the best preventive measure against depression. That way, you have a motivation to get out of bed every morning
And, I hope I'm not infringing upon any forum rules by posting this link: http://www.theamericanmonk.com/
That guy who calls himself the american monk does have some wise stuff to say imho. I'm not telling you to buy his Mindbox (I haven't done it either), it's rather expensive I might add, but there are seven free online "lessons" to which you can subscribe, each one with three audio meditations.

well..i tried suicide already. You don't think or talk about it, you just do it.
So I guess thinking and talking about it is okay.

You know what really sucks about coming back from the dead ?
Every breath I took hurted. Every step I took felt like knives cutting me.
If you where to hold me..your touch felt like it burnt my skin.
The guilt, shame. I hated everybody,but most of all I hated myself.
So I tried to killed myself the slow way abusing drugs and alcohol.
That didn't work out too well...it just made me crazy.lol
So I ended up in recovery doing some 12 step program.
True..I'm more afraid of living than dying.
There's was alot of stuff in recovery that I didn't like.

But they gave me some living tools though.
Living oneday at a time. 5 mins at a time, a breath at a time.
You know that's what life is...life is in the moment, right here, right now.
Which is a problem I have now.lol
but I know it's all in my head.

I have some crazy insane stories from the day i was born.
I was abandent as a child for starter and that's just the tip of the ice burge.
My head got bashed in here and there from my alcoholic father.
I didn't have many freinds becuase I moved from relatives to relatives as a child.

My HS GF died a week before the prom..That screwed me up a little bit.
Then when my baby died...that shot me into the twiglight zone.
This year someone that I love very much died....it's beyound me this time.

I just don't know if I can bare it anymore. Though I'm not going to kill myself.
I don't have the zest or drive in me anymore. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't want to feel or think like I am anymore.
And I'm doing all of this clean and sober too...and i feel like a wack job on a good day.lol
I'm not depressed becuase I don't drink or use drugs....it hurts a lot though.
But I hold on because I know as bad as I might think I have it...someone else has it alot
worst than me.

This post was last modified: 08-17-2008 01:32 AM by Lonesome Crow.

Chris, try to get a therapist to talk to. They know different techniques. But don't take any medication.