It has come down to this, and what can i say beside life is down right hopeless. Why do people fear death so much? It is only natural that sooner or later we all die. When I speak off the term death to my mom, she yell at me and tell me to never speak off it again. I hate her, and wish she would never speak of god again, because that one word that I can't bare. What other people don't seem to realize is death is not a bad things, Mexicans have a day where they celebrate the dead, but in many country people fear death. Who said anyone in their right might would think of death on a constant basis? But what people like my mom fail to realize is life is a lot worst than death. Death is like sleeping without waking up, and we sleep everyday, and wake up every morning. Life is harsh, and many people in this world are suffering, it is only natural according to the rule of nature that only the strong survive or the one that are born with a good deck of card will do better versus someone who had been given a bad hand.

It is nature way of saying the weak will die while the strong will survive. It is almost like a guarantee that when your born as a bad hand, you can pretty much kiss your life away. To be honest, the world will never be a Utopia, and people should stop dreaming the impossible. There will always be war, there will always be suffering, and there will always be death.

My mom would never listen to me when I speak of death in any sort of way and she is shutting me down to a possible attempt of suicide. Instead she is avoid this whole discussion, and maybe someday the only proof to her ill stubborn way is when a police officer knock at her door... Why must it be like this? I don't fear death, and I never have. I don't want to die either, but life sure is miserable having to spent an entire summer with my parents who have done me wrong on so many occasions. I fear life more than death, most of the time the best part of my day is sleeping and dreaming of good things. It when I woke up that I don't want to get out of bed.

"Life without death is a life of suicide"


Chris

You really need to seak help

You value your life soo poorly and the only thing that is wrong with it is YOU, you are the one making your life so miserable for yourself. Iv been reading your posts and there is nothing in which you should be so depressed over. Realise the power of chioce, the power of willpower. If you got your finger out of your arse and did something you wouldnt be so sad, but its to hard isnt it? you would rather cry about it? Even think that death is a better option then to face your trivial problems.

People that throw away there lives for nothing irritates me, i mean what a waste. So many people in the world would probably kill to have your life, and yet you are willing to take it away over something so small.
How can you be so weak to rather die then to live? you have it so hard do you? oh mummy annoyes me, oh i cant smile, i have no friends because i choose to be alone, deal with it!, or atleast do something about it.

The thought of dieing young for me is scary, There is so much i want to achieve in life, so many people and places i want to meet/see, its a scary thought to be robbed of that. Right now i have alot of obsticles to achieve these goals, but ffs im not going to throw in the towl just because it seams hard. its all apart of lifes challangers that make is all so rewarding when you succeed. Or you can just quit and live a life like yours, a meaningless waste of life.

I do not know what Porman is talking about and he clearly does not understand. Or is on an entire tough love rant. Either way I get the feeling of not wanting to leave and do anything because I have been there and will be there again. However when parents are negative influence in your life, cut them out, tune them out, or treat them like dirt and make them suffer. Whatever make you feel better, i choose the treat them like dirt option, but depending on your money situation you may not be able to. Stop talking to your mother about things, she does not sound like she is helping.
I used to have a saying of I am going to die eventually so theirs no reason to commit suicide, but yeah have to deal with forever living in this shit ideal of an existance and like Porman said some would kill for our lives which just make things even worse. Because that means the world really is shit.
How you choose to deal with your problem is up to you but your not the only person going through them. If and when you want to change you will, but it will require some work, and a lot of experimenting. So good luck, and remember time is a factor. I hate my mom to if it makes you feel any better.

I am not judging anyone here, but when I read about people hating their mothers it makes me so sad. It's hard being a mum, my daughters are aged 25 and 30. There are many things that happened when they were growing up that I wish I had dealt with differently.....but didn't. I used to get angry and really frustrated and there were times when they said I didn't love them. If only they knew!
We have had hard times but come through them, and now have a strong loving relationship, we need each other. I hope things change for you.

I think i understand more then some of you. Life can be hard, but you have to deal with it, you cannot think for one second that life is a punishment.

I have been threw hard times too, everyone goes threw hard times, its just how you deal with it can change your entire life. All im hearing in his posts is i hate my mum ra ra ra, which he is way to old to think like this, this is childish behaviour. Any normal person in his situation wouldnt be so dam miserable as him, i know i wouldnt.

Maybe because im one of the only people on this site that dont have a mental disorder, but i think most people here get so depressed about such childish, trivial things, its insane. i thought this site was for real problems, people going through divorce, loosing there house, becoming wheelchair bound, not my mummy is a bitch i wanna kill myself.

To think that death is a better solution then living, you musnt be all there in your head.

If you think chris has an excuse to hate his life then you need help too

Porman knows what he's talking about.

It is sad but if you have a 30 year old daughter then you have been around long enough to have seen countless cases of peoples attitudes changing about their parents as the people got older and developed an appreciation of the difficulty. Unfortunately in some cases the parents actually are so bad that things never change.

Why do you hate me? Every single reply I got from you is all negative, and I don't know what I did wrong to upset you so much. What is bothering you about your life that your getting mad at me? I don't post anything on this forum that isn't genuine, and I only write what is in my heart.

And I have any right to hate my mom, for one she purposely told all my secret to my dad and sister off whom I told her strictly not to tell, and then using my own secret against me. Every single secret that I entrust in her are now out in the open. There are many other reason, but I'm just gonna leave it at that.

This post was last modified: 08-15-2008 01:36 PM by Chris 2.

Who are you referring to?

How do you know that you wouldn't be miserable as me if you were in my shoe? So your telling me people who go through divorce, loosing there house, becoming wheelchair bound is any more important than a person on the edge of dieing due to years of lack of support and constant loneliness and exclusion from their own classmate and their whole school? First of all, for people like myself, divorce might not ever happen, because we would probably never fall in love or even go on a date, did you ever think of that? I mean I just overcame social anxiety, and I couldn't talk to any girls for the past 10 years, so I rather be divorce, at least I would know what it like to have a girlfriend or get marry someday.

I don't think death is better than living, but when your life is full of shit like mine, it would be unhuman like without any emotion to not think about suicide. Many people have complain that they live one year of their life without friend, and are talking about suicide and stuff, but I have never had any friend starting from kindergarden (you can believe it or not but that the truth). In fact all my life I have never had any friend, and it suck, and that why I am thinking the way I am. I am lonely, I want to have a happy life, but life is scary for me, so many things to worry about, school, bill, friend, love, etc...