So here goes i wanted to post on this site for a long time, but i just never founded the right words to say.

Poor English sry.

Since im drunk yes i got drunk all alone. Cuz thats the only time i fell alive besides that i just feel like a useless white meat without any future or hope.

Today i called my old buddies and told them how i felt. And told em how much im disappointed about them. That they never called or cared about my life. Pathetic? sure thing.
But what do you want me do to? Be strong and pretend that everything is all right. When the truth is that i want to commit suicide 24/7. And all I can think about is the past and what i did wrong back then,.

I may have suicide thoughts for no reason, but should´ t I feel that way when im alone ALL the friggin time
Here is some facts:
Im 17 years old still a virgin
I dont have any friends left
Im already a drunk and a burnout
And I have been unemployed for 7 months.

Maybe should i do something aboutit , but have can I do that wheneveryone around already have judge me as a weak geek with no future.
What should i do
Give me a reason why I should stick around..


And when i wake up tomorrow i may regret this post but whatever who cares

Man, I'm in the same boat as you (besides being a virgn) and I'm 21.

Be happy that you're still young enough to sit on your ass while not being looked down upon.

Thank you for the reply Sixtyten.
I saw your story on this site. And it was like reading my own diary.

There is a lot of ppl who care, You just have to fined them.

It is normal to be a virgin at 17, I would say probably moor then %50 of ppl are at 17

When you first leave school its hard to find that first job. The only thing you can do is keep looking for work. It only takes one person to say yes, we wont you to work for us. One chance is all you need.
Hopefully when you do get a job you might make some moor friends there.

As far as the drinking alone grows, Well I do this sometimes and its never a good thing. I always end up moor depressed then I did be for I started drinking. There is only one person that can help you there, And that's you. hopefully you well not do it so much when you get a job. BTW I know loads of ppl that take a long time to start doing something from leaving school. Don't be so heard on your self.

Welcome here

-moved to introductions-

This post was last modified: 07-29-2008 04:51 PM by Bluey.

Wow, they are good. At 17 they can make that claim?

Drunk, alone, and thinking of the things you feel you did wrong isn't a good place to be. I know i spent to much of my time in that situation.

I don't have any words that could make you feel better but i know things changed a lot for me since i was 17.

(((((((((((((Break the cycle)))))))))))))))))
First of all hello We are glad you are here

It's never good to pretend everything is alright when it isn't. When people push the pain down inside of them and try to forget it, it eventually comes back and with much greater force. As far as being strong, being strong is having the guts to look at whats bothering you and work through it by getting help, advice, or whatever. You are taking that first step and that in itself, shows strength.

((((((((((Break the cycle)))))))))))))) everyone has a past. Everyone has done things they regret. It's part of life and being human. We f*ck up. I have had things in my past that have haunted me too. Guilt, I think it was the worst thing, that and the feeling of knowing it's all said and done. But ya know what? Hind sight is 20/20.

The important thing is this. People are always changing. You are not that same person in the past. I am not that person I was back then. You are different. You are a better and changed person now because you feel remorse. You have the capacity to do better and THAT is what counts. You can self correct.

I can understand why you would feel that way. It's like your life is out of your control. Realize that sometimes what we feel is not true. Sometimes we get in such a depression that all we can focus on is what's wrong. We get stuck in that. I am not discounting what you feel. It is real, very real. I know you are in pain and I wish there was some way I could help you.

I haven't judged you that way. Nor has anyone else here. As far as the others who have judged you like that...F*CK EM! Who are they to define who you are? Only you can define yourself. And only you can let their poisenous words make you feel bad. Don't give them that power over you. You have a choice.

Because there are people in your life that love you.

And when i wake up tomorrow i may regret this post but whatever who cares

I hope you didn't regert this post and I hope you post anytime you want to. You are a part of this community know. Stick around, ok?

http://suicide.com/index2.html[/quote]

This post was last modified: 07-29-2008 10:44 PM by Naleena.

Thank you all I appreciate it.

First of all I was very drunk when i wrote this, and suicide was never a option for me. I could never do that to my family.

I guess the true is that i´m so bored/alone (and for so long) That I create my own depression.

Well I don't think you wish or course your own depression.

Things happen that get us feeling like this. Life can take us on a direction that feels uncomfortable to us. This is why we do things like drink. I do it sometimes as well. And I do it alone. In the hope it well make me feel less bored. I don't normally feel depressed when I start drinking. Just board and looking for some excitement I Guss. But by the end of the night I do end up moor depressed the moor I drink. As others have said, where only human. Where going to fuck up sometimes. We would not be normal if we did not.

hungry and lonely here

I work my ash off just to end up ultimately broke. I think people in jail eat better than I do.

You know I sometimes think ppl in jail have moor of a social network then I do as well. I mean at lest they got someone to talk to everyday and play pool with maybe lol

But I could never do jail time. I like to be free even if I am in all day at lest I can go out if I like. Plus I like my ass as it is, Know what I mean. Am a small lad, they would rip me to bits.