I have been trying very hard to get over me being shy. But with my depression and low self-esteem I find it very difficult to meet people online and off.

I feel as if I don't belong here as well. If that turns out to be true, I truly am alone.

I do not want you to post your age. The poll will be enough.

Hi Nena,

What's going on? Welcome, and I'm glad you joined. Do you have any idea why you have low self-esteem, depression, and are shy?

Many times it's because you were abused or mistreated as a child.

Hugs,

LG

I do know why I am this way. Problem is never really spoke to anyone about it so its hard to. I was always told to be a listener never to speak of my problems nor let others know how I feel.

But today I just cant seem to stop crying (shrugs) sorry I don't mean to say negative things


And thank you LG for responding

Nena,

I took your poll and I think others have, too.

Why haven't you talked to anyone? You NEED to! If you are depressed, you need a counselor, medication, or both. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Why don't you get it off your chest? I'm listening.

"shakes head" no I cant do that.

I have tried counselors, but apparently I am truly invisible, even to them. As for medication I am very afraid to take those.

(thanks for all of you that have taken the poll)

Hi Nena,I'm new here to,I voted in your poll and I do hope you will give it a chance here,maybe it will help a bit in time.
I know it can be hard to talk about personal issues when you where taught to keep things inside.It was very much like that in my family,where they believe things like depression and anxiety disorders do not exist or are merely a sign of weakness.
Don't let them make you in there image,don't let them take all from you,there are other people in the world,maybe there rare,hard to find but there is such thing as compassion and moments its not only okay to talk about your problems but imporant and good for the heart and soul.
Maybe try to start small,if you don't want to start by posting something here prehaps you could get yourself a notebook and write some things out,just let it out onto paper,don't censor yourself.Tell yourself you can always keep it private(everyone after all deserves a place to express themselves in private if they wish)if you like but give yourself some room to vent.I hope some of this helps a little,take care Nena

Angelus thank you for your reply.

I am going to give this place a shot. As for writing in notebooks. I use to do that, short stories, poems, inner feeling and thoughts. But I have no privacy or personal space, since I don't want others reading what I think. That wont work anymore.

Hi Nena
I don't mean to pry and if you don't want to talk about it I understand.Do you think a part of it might be your living situation?You said you had no privacy,I don't know your circumstance but that may very well be apart of it.I am also well aware of what that can do,its a long story but lets just say I hate my current living situation and where I live and I know,I mean I know the first real step in changing things is getting out of here.When your surrounded by negativity all the time,you just start to soak it up,it gets inside you.However I can tell you from personal experience the reverse can also happen.There was a time in my early 20's I got away from the situation I have been dealing with for so many years for awhile and the change over several months time was amazing.It didn't cure all my ills,I suffer from depression and social anxiety disorder and still have to deal with those things but a bad living sitauation can amplify those things so severly they can seem to swallow you whole so to speak.

I'm sorry but I'm very offended by that because that's a big assumption to make on someone (although it's not a big assumption here) but also because sometimes people are just shy, without having been abused.

Sweetest,

Sorry you were offended. I wasn't talking about shyness, per se. I was talking about low self esteem. I think people who have low self-esteem may have that because they were abused, mistreated, or ignored as kids. For example, I was all three. I was beaten, emotionally abused, and rejected by my father. My mother was emotionally unavailable. Therefore, I did not have parents to love me and make me feel loved. I have been plagued with this my whole life, and I know why I have low self esteem. However, knowing doesn't make it go away!

But I hate for young people to blame themselves for having low self esteem when they were abused.