Sry for a lengthy post... but i highly doubt i'll post much more about myself.

I’ve been here for a while now, but I haven’t really said anything about myself or my state of mind. The reason for this is because I have never talked to anyone about my true feelings, they always remained concealed within me as I struggled to fix my problems and move on with life. Overall, I like to think I’m a good person, caring, kind (but I guess this is for others to decide). I’m 20 years old, turning 21 this year. I’m finishing my 3rd year of studies of what’s generally known as life or health science.

But back to my point... I have maybe too many people that I know, but none of these are true friends in terms of that I only talk to them at school, or if I meet them on the street…No gf, never had one (although I really wish I had one).

I never had anyone to talk to about my loneliness and all, that I just learnt to deal with life by myself… never ask for help. I never turned to my family because we were never quite on that level where they would understand (I tried to approach this subject indirectly once, with a lot of though… but I quickly realised that they wouldn’t be able to help me, simply because they wouldn’t understand fully, this would only make them feel bad (which I have no intention to give them any more problems than they already have), and probably they didn’t help my cause by being to “overprotective” in a way during my high school years).

I fell into deep depression and I beat it in a sense… I say this because I no longer feel sad, (in a way), those times that would account for really bad days, have no longer occurred for about 4 or 5 months. They are but brief moments which I just throw away. You would think that this is great, but to be honest, it feels even worse than being depressed… It’s very difficult to explain unless you felt it. The best way I can explain is that I have this deep void, or emptiness… as if I can’t feel anything anymore, can’t express myself. It’s kind of like becoming indifferent about anything and everything, letting life pass as it goes, without turning to reflect on anything that happens or has the potential to happen.

I don’t know why I’m writing this… I don’t expect anything from this in terms of getting any NEW input that could enlighten me, that could make my life different… it’s up to me to find the next struggle that was placed in front of me and deal with it to the best of my ability… possibly expressing my thoughts might be some sort of start. I guess I’m looking for someone to relate to, someone to talk to about everything and anything that may cross my mind.

First off, thank you for taking time to read or skim through my post and also I thank you all for any support that you do provide. I hope that any struggles that you may have in life don’t become burdens on you but that you can overcome them and find the happiness that you seek.

Best regards

J

This post was last modified: 03-03-2008 03:12 PM by Guest.

Didn't think this was really all that long. So far I have avoided anything really wopperish long myself, though I have written a few things of decent length here.

Guest, in all the time I have spent gaming and chatting with just random people from our generation. Probably 100's of people, as I have gotten around online. My god these problems are so common these days. Sometimes I have to wonder what is going on. So don't think your alone by any means. I think some of this is just our culture itself. I think our culture is becomming unhealthy in many regards. It's focused on alot of things that really just don't matter. I also suspect there may be more to why so many people are so unhappy today, but I really am not sure what these might be. It is probably many factors.

This post was last modified: 03-03-2008 02:59 PM by Skorian.

HAY Guest good to see you finely formally intreduced your self

and that's not to long. ppl can always skim through like you say. They would still get the jest of it.

Yea you have lots of ppl you know and no true friends. I have the same problem in there is a lot off ppl I could go drinking with just that's not what I wont to do all the time. Its about using them ppl to get to the ppl you do have stuff in comen with. I know that sounds like its using and that's probably because it is but everyone dose it whether their realise it are not. You just have to not let the ppl that you know are no good for you get to you why your doing that if that makes sense to you. Maybe am letting my own personal feelings go in this post as well here.

Any way welcome and btw we can change your name here if every you wont to be not known as a guest

Welcome to the forum Guest/J..

Hi Guest - What I've found is that the older we get, the harder it is to deal with loneliness. My parents were also very overprotective (a cause of my loneliness) but I found that when I was younger, it was easier to deal because I was in a sheltered environment where I didn't need to fend for myself. After I left home, I started to really feel alone, even though I was just as lonely. I had absolutely no support system and every thing I did felt so pointless. I never had a gf in HS, but I felt like I did not need one back then. Now, I feel like not having a gf is torture. I think the best way to deal with numbness is to just keep yourself busy. Maybe travel somewhere so you can get a different perspective on things. Sometimes all you really need is to meet one person in order for things to change.