Last night for the first time I said a non greedy prayer for myself and meant it! And let me tell ya for the first time in a long time I felt like I was being heard and for no reason while i was doin it my eyes teared up a lot.I cant help but think is it finally time to let God back into my heart I sure hope so because it has been a long time without. I know sounds goofy but i thought I waould share. Anyone feel that way at all?

I am really happy to see your post, Krossknife, and it's not goofy. Thank you for sharing. So many times we don't notice God's hand, but when It's so blatant, you feel such lightness of heart and joy. I am sure He's welcoming you back. HUGS!

Hi Krossknife,

I'm about as religious as a stick, but I always enjoy hearing when others find some peace in their lives. Good luck on whatever path you take.

Thks guys! Back at ya

I remember when I was young, I used to be religious. God was present in my life every second. But life had it that I would take my distance from him. Throughout the years I kept reading the bible to find strength and indeed I found it only I was not as religious as I used to be. I remember when my mother passed away at the hospital. The family was weeping around her death bed and emotions were extremely high. I did not know what to do. I wasn't crying but was deeply in pain. Knowing that I would find, somehow, comfort in God I took my little bible with me and found myself reading it in the hospital's chapel. It was about 3 in the morning. I told myself I should not be selfish and that I had to let mother go in peace. That night God gave me strength.

I remember also in November 2005. During that time I had the darkest days of my life. Throughout my life I have seen death, poverty, violence, you name it but November 2005 was the worst period in my life. Something happened to me that changed completely my life forever. I remember that night the pain was so bad I was literally shaking. I was weeping like a child. I did not cry as much when both my parents passed away. Then I found myself turning back to God again. I remember being on my knees next to the couch in my living room late at night weeping and reciting: "Our Father who art in Heaven . . . ." I think I had recited it about 50 times while my tears were pouring down like rain. But that night God was not listening. I must admit that I even felt worse because I also discovered that I have been one SOB for remembering God only when I needed him. To me either I remember God all the time, in good and bad, or forget him altogether.

God forgive me for being so selfish...

Krossknife that's the best thing a person could ever do. By believing in God we let ourselves be molded into his will. We let him take control even if it means giving up something or someone. I've just went through this and I realized that all this time he was looking out for me and showing me what needed to be changed even if I didn't want to change it.

Wonderful. It's good to pray for yourself, to love yourself, to forgive yourself for you mistakes!