Avoiding people

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

theablekingathelstan

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2021
Messages
648
Reaction score
100
I try to be a good person but I admit to having dark thoughts now and then. Part of this is being avoidant of attractive women since most nay all of them tend to be toxic as fresia. I’ve never met any who are kind or charitable. If I meet somebody who looks like this https://www.pinterest.com/blonanil/models-in-jeans/
I’d ignore them and be cold and indifferent to them. It may seem harsh in peoples eyes but whatever.
can anybody relate with having prejudices and biases that you act on?
 
I'll have to admit to making similar assumptions about someone who looks like that.
 
Last edited:
When I was in high school and in my 20's, I stayed away from men who were jocks for the same reason.
They tended to be self-centred and caught up in themselves. Not in touch with their feelings and not giving
a f**k about others's feelings or wellfare.

I dabble on a dating site from time to time. This is what I stay away from now...

ALVE BELLA DONNA! Io Sono Mauro! I am Originally born here in Italy. I am a Retired Doctor. I worked my Whole life in many hospitals in the world and I actually worked for many charities too. I served for Doctors Without Boarders and I am a Neurologist. Graduated from The United States University called Harvard, I am a Pure Italian man. I consider myself very lucky to achieve my goals and to be able to lend a helping hand for those who were in need. I am actually a Neuro Surgeon and Also Emergency Room Especialist. I wish to have a nice conversation with a Nice woman. CIAO!S



and this guy is 54. 54 year old doctors do not retire... !!! Give me a break! Either totally full of himself or a lying *******. I just want a normal guy, with normal looks and a normal job... who is honest, intellectually interesting and likes some of the same stuff I do,... and wants the best for others.
 
I can relate to having some prejudices and biases towards certain people because of the way I was treated. I don't act on them, just get a lot of anxiety and i just do what i can to avoid them.
 
I try to be a good person but I admit to having dark thoughts now and then. Part of this is being avoidant of attractive women since most nay all of them tend to be toxic as fresia. I’ve never met any who are kind or charitable. If I meet somebody who looks like this https://www.pinterest.com/blonanil/models-in-jeans/
I’d ignore them and be cold and indifferent to them. It may seem harsh in peoples eyes but whatever.
can anybody relate with having prejudices and biases that you act on?
Wow this is what I love about taste, opinion, attraction, to me she isn’t even on a level that i’d consider attractive, like if I looked like that i’d need endless validation just to leave the house. To me she is just an average looking woman not a woman men would do anything for but to you shes attractive which is interesting to me and magical, gives me hope that I can be attractive in someones eyes.

On another note I try my very best not to generalise but I still do, I avoid certain people but I try not to. In the dating world I obviously avoid short men and men with brown eyes… in everyday life, I cant think of any particular group that I avoid.
 
Wow this is what I love about taste, opinion, attraction, to me she isn’t even on a level that i’d consider attractive, like if I looked like that i’d need endless validation just to leave the house. To me she is just an average looking woman not a woman men would do anything for but to you shes attractive which is interesting to me and magical, gives me hope that I can be attractive in someones eyes.

On another note I try my very best not to generalise but I still do, I avoid certain people but I try not to. In the dating world I obviously avoid short men and men with brown eyes… in everyday life, I cant think of any particular group that I avoid.
Most of the women on that models-in-jeans page are just average women that are glammed up.
 
It has become quite fashionable to regard people as, 'toxic.' I don't much care for that word. I've been told I'm a, 'waste,' of some one's time, way too many times to think that kind of language has any good use. People aren't toxic, mercury is toxic.

Society has a really, really, bad problem right now, with, 'writing people off indefinitely.' Some times you have to do that to some one; but, it's usually a personal choice, for one, and it's usually circumstantial.

For example, chlorine is quite, 'toxic,' but when you mix the right amount of chlorine with sodium, you get sodium chloride, 'salt,' and salt is necessary for human survival; but, of course, even too much salt is toxic. People, I think, don't often realize how different each individual person is around different people and different situations. In doing so, everything becomes, "it's them, not me!" Well, it isn't either. It was you AND them. Maybe there are some kinds of people that are just truly parasitic; but, if you look into biology a little bit, you will find that parasites are some of the most abundant organisms on this planet. And not only that; but, some parasitic relationships are actually mutually beneficial. That may be the exception, rather than the rule; but, anyway...

The real problem, is that, self-awareness is really lacking, lately. On top of that, our culture, tends to select for very undesirable personality traits and behaviors, and rewards them extremely generously.

Though, if you have a bad experience with bees, it stands to reason you might be kind of put off by the creature, for a time; but, bees are quite cute, some times, unless they are extremely aggressive invasive species. In which case, nature must run it's course...

Everything is cyclical. Beauty is always a subjective thing, too, it changes. The standard of beauty 20 years ago, is not what it is today. It's probably best to have your own idea of what beauty is; then, I think, you can work on nurturing that quality within yourself, and become better at recognizing it in others, so, maybe, then, you could find the type of people you want to associate with.

We all have prejudices, though. Some are acquired, I think, while others we inherit from the one's who's job it was to pass on the knowledge required for us to survive. Maybe some times they are useful; but, generally, probably not, perhaps not useful at all.
 
Last edited:
Do you have a realistic concept of what an average appearance is? By your standards some of us would look like Gollum.
 
Last edited:
Do you have a realistic concept of what an average appearance is? By your standards some of us would look like Gollum.
Its all in the eye of the beholder isnt that what makes attraction special and magical? Wheres your sense of sparkles and fairytales? I cant really change what I find attractive or unattractive just like you cant so im sure whatever I think is realistic to me 😇 What me or Finished think about how any of you look shouldnt matter as lol who are we anyway? Im sure you’re all beautiful 💖
 
Its all in the eye of the beholder isnt that what makes attraction special and magical? Wheres your sense of sparkles and fairytales? I cant really change what I find attractive or unattractive just like you cant so im sure whatever I think is realistic to me 😇 What me or Finished think about how any of you look shouldnt matter as lol who are we anyway? Im sure you’re all beautiful 💖
I mean you just called a model who is clearly well above average looking average/not attractive, followed by "like if I looked like that i’d need endless validation just to leave the house." I don't have a problem with your preferences in men but if you were serious there then your perspective in general is a little warped.
 
I mean you just called a model who is clearly well above average looking average/not attractive, followed by "like if I looked like that i’d need endless validation just to leave the house." I don't have a problem with your preferences in men but if you were serious there then your perspective in general is a little warped.
Well, she's been pretty clear on how important looks are to her, so her perspective is obviously a little warped.
 
You two stop flirting about me 😂 okay okay I take it back if I must agree with your opinions you bullies 🤣
 
Avoiding people is something that I do as well. I keep my distance unless I have a good reason not too. I do simple things, for instance if I am walking towards a door and someone is doing the same I will slow down. If I am grocery shopping and somoene is blocking my path I take a lap and try again. Recent events have made other people do that as well ^_^. I also take other measures as well. When I am socializing I make sure to dress down. If you look like and smell like you are homeless people leave you alone. Granted I am not terrible but my outfits make people wonder if I am lazy or just went to the gym. Second get good at conversation enders. If someone talks to you answer with a statement that has no where to go. A good example, person says "nice weather we are having" I say "yes" and then look away. Another way to avoid people is to be congnisent of them as well. For instance if I am standing somewhere and notice I might be blocking someone I get out of the way. In many ways it is a fun intellectual challenge. It does not always work, but it works enough. Having good perphirel vision is really helpful too. That way I can not look at people when looking at people. After all, I am not above my natural instincts I can just rationalize them away, but I cannot control them.
 
Avoiding people is something that I do as well. I keep my distance unless I have a good reason not too. I do simple things, for instance if I am walking towards a door and someone is doing the same I will slow down. If I am grocery shopping and somoene is blocking my path I take a lap and try again. Recent events have made other people do that as well ^_^. I also take other measures as well. When I am socializing I make sure to dress down. If you look like and smell like you are homeless people leave you alone. Granted I am not terrible but my outfits make people wonder if I am lazy or just went to the gym. Second get good at conversation enders. If someone talks to you answer with a statement that has no where to go. A good example, person says "nice weather we are having" I say "yes" and then look away. Another way to avoid people is to be congnisent of them as well. For instance if I am standing somewhere and notice I might be blocking someone I get out of the way. In many ways it is a fun intellectual challenge. It does not always work, but it works enough. Having good perphirel vision is really helpful too. That way I can not look at people when looking at people. After all, I am not above my natural instincts I can just rationalize them away, but I cannot control them.
This is amazing lol im taking notes, sorry you stirred a question do you ignore people for fun or because they make you uncomfortable?
 
Well really, what's in an aesthetic?
People are not their bodies, or their vain attempts on media platforms to acquire dopamine hits. people are their minds.
The body is just the vessel there that carries the mind.
The trouble is, that the mind and the body aren't as easily connected.

Funny, I was just having this exact conversation with a 72 year old woman who's a local painter that I know like literally a couple hours ago in regards to some relationship issues between her and her daughter with the generational gap differences etc. :unsure:

The most beautiful women I've met, and I'm not exactly out in the club or on Tinder trying to meet women, but the most beautiful women I've met tend to have the highest insecurities about their beauty.

I sort of deduce this to a deadening or numbness of sorts.
Base Level Attention. what a person is used to receiving, is exactly that:
Base Level Attention.

Pretty Model Girl is used to being told she's pretty.
Eventually that means nothing to her and kind of becomes an irritant, or the fly on the wall sotospeak, because that's all she ever hears.
Case and point: Cheslie Kryst, the former Miss America of 2019, who recently killed herself.

Point being: You can't judge a book by its cover.

You CAN however, be marveled and speculative thereof.
Because that's the only way that you learn: By applying yourself to try to learn.
 
I try to be a good person but I admit to having dark thoughts now and then. Part of this is being avoidant of attractive women since most nay all of them tend to be toxic as fresia. I’ve never met any who are kind or charitable. If I meet somebody who looks like this https://www.pinterest.com/blonanil/models-in-jeans/
I’d ignore them and be cold and indifferent to them. It may seem harsh in peoples eyes but whatever.
can anybody relate with having prejudices and biases that you act on?
This clip made me think of your post 😉: In a world full of Kardashians, be a Joan Jett
 

Attachments

  • FB_IMG_1647644796975.jpg
    FB_IMG_1647644796975.jpg
    38.1 KB

Latest posts

Back
Top