I always feel lonely every day no matter what the occasion, whether I'm with some of the few friends I have, with my mum who is very important to me or by myself. This loneliness really does get to me and by the end of each day I have really just had enough of it all. This lonliness is prolly nothing new to many people here, I have an extra problem though and i was wondering if anyone else feels the same?

My problem is that I feel lonely but then I begin feeling guilty because really my life is not that bad off, sure if only had 1 or 2 relationships but people older then me out there have had none. My family isn't poor or anything and my mum is very caring towards me where some people have no family. There are more thoughts like these that to through my head but those few examples should hopefully be enough to show what I mean.

I feel lonely and miserable and then on top of that I begin to feel bad and guilty because I begin to think that I shouldn't be like this because there are many otherpeople out there in worse situations.

Sory if I babbled on a bit, I just find it a little hard to get what I'm thinking and feeling into words.

But yea I would be happy to know if anyone else feels like this at times or if anyone has any suggestions of advise for me about this.

Than you

To steal from Collette, another poster here...

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth." - Benjamin Disraeli

Especially emotionally, you can't compare yourself to others and rate the worthiness of your emotions by theirs. We're all individuals. Whether or not you're in a better or worse objective situation doesn't negate the reality of what you're feeling.

I suggest that you focus on why you feel lonely, given what you appear to have. What would you have like to happen, for example, at moments when you are lonely that would alleviate that?

Regards,
IO

This post was last modified: 01-08-2008 04:03 AM by IgnoredOne.

I see what you're saying, but oddly enough I hardly ever feel guilty for being lonely. The main reason being that I think this world has pretty much shafted me for no good reason. This feeling generally overides any feelings of guilt.

I'm certain there are people in worse shape than me, but when you're lonely and depressed it seems like you're the only one suffering. I'd love to help others be free of their loneliness. In order for me to do that effectively though, I first have to conquer my own.

If possible, I would suggest putting your guilt aside. Feeling alone and hurting is terrible enough without the added layer of guilt. Don't fuel an already burning fire. Hope this makes sense...

I know what you mean about feeling guilty. Sadly, this is a way in which many counselors and shrinks try to get you to guilt yourself out of depression. However, you can't fairly compare the two feelings of depression and greed. It's not like you're the spoiled rich kid who cries because he only got 40 video games for Christmas when he asked for 45. Instead, you're attempting to make sense of your existence, your feelings, and your cravings. Sure, a lot of people out there have a lot less than many of us on here have, but to sound a bit conceited in an odd way, others don't always feel things the way we do. Battling feelings of solitude due to emotional loneliness isn't the same thing as not valuing the relationships you have for what they are. I have several acquaintances with whom I talk each day, but I still yearn desperately for true friends in whom I can confide and trust. Don't be guilty for your feelings; righteous desire often leads to fulfillment through action.

firstly thankyou everyone for your replies, it is always nice to know that people out there know about how you are feeling.

I love that quote about how not to be sorry for your feelings, it makes alot of sense to me.

thank you for all your help, its amazing how everyone comments make so much sense to me and I really do think that they will help me.

So once again thank you

I know how you feel. I have a nice family and had a good upbringing. In some bizzare way that makes me sadder, because i just end up thinking about happy days being younger.
I sometimes think 'if i had a shitty childhood, at least that could be an excuse for how i feel now'.

I actually feel guilty for my mum and dad quite often. They have done their best to bring me up, and did a great job. However due to my own issues and problems, im now living a lonely life. And what would make them happy, is for me to be happy. Which means getting a good girl and eventually have kids that they can enjoy, (they are not getting any younger).

So its bad enough dealing with my own problems, but i also feel guilt for making my parents worrys or feel im a social faliure.

Ah I feel exactly the same as you! That's why I feel that I can never talk to my mum about how down I'm feeling even though I know she cares because it would only make her sad. My dad on the other hand would tell me to stop being a 'girl' and harden up.

And yea I know all to well about feeling like a social reject, not a very nice feeling at all.

And yea it makes me sadder on the same way that it does you as well, I also feel like I have no reason to feel sad.

But I have found just by talking about it here that the burden is eased a bit because I know that people out there are going through the same things

i would never really talk to my parents about it. mainly because it wouldn't help ( i know what my issues are already and im doing my best to deal with them) plus i wouldn't want to worry them.
My dad always tells me stories about when him and his mates did this and that in his 20's.. and it makes me realize im not going to be able to have stories like that myself

I think alot of it is a genarational thing. 40 years ago when my dad was young, society was different to how it is now. And i think people got along better and were nicer to each other.
Maybe im wrong, but it was not long after the war, so people valued life and each other more back then.

yea I'm sure they we'd too. Being only 18 I have been brought up in the kind of world where everything is done much to quickly, without thinking anything through and I also feel that in this day and age everything is based on face value much more faster then it may have been in the past. I can't properly make a proper comparison as I havnt been around for that long but from what I've heard from parents and grandparents is like you say, the world is definatly a less friendly place which is a very sad thing to know

I sometimes feel really guilty. I have a really nice family, and I know they love me, yet still I'm like this. I feel bad that I can't be happy, successful and i'll say happy again b/c I know that's all my parents want me to be. They brought me up well, I had everything I could have wanted, so now I just feel like I've wasted all the opportunities that I've had.

I've also held off from telling my parents exactly how I feel, purely because I didn't want to upset them. However, recently.. last night, in fact, I realised that right now, my parents are the only people I have and without them knowing what's going on with me, I feel even more alone. So today I completely opened up to my mum and basically told her everything. Now I feel even worse because she got so upset. I'm glad I've told her, but, yeah, I feel guilty.