I can barely remember a time when i was content from within...ive always been dissapointed at life for everything thats happened to me. Never have I got my way, Never have i got what i deserved, everything i have gets taken away from me...this really makes me sad from inside. Though there are those brief moments when i feel like " Hey maybe the good part of my life is about to begin" but the next moment something bad happens again which kills my optimism again...

That is so on target with my feelings exactly. Except for my early childhood (only because i didn't know any better), I have never felt content. I have always felt cheated in some way. Like where did my good life go.? If only I knew the answer to that, I could go and get it back heh.

It's a good question to ask lonelydude. My response is much the same as yours. I feel a strong sense of injustice goes through my life.
I wonder whether our loneliness causes the depression or whether our depression results in loneliness? Which comes first? Chicken and egg stuff.

That is so true lonelydude. The thing is after so much dissapointment you start waiting for bad things to happen. If a few months pass with nothing bad happening I cant help but to start wondering if the world is taking its time to cook up something realy crap this time for me. Funny thing is that it is usualy true. Just as you start to feel that you are getting ahead a big wave apears that crushes everything. But that's life. Ride the wave when you can and then start swimming like crazy when you get hit. It will be great if we can get a bit of time to get on our feet before we have to face all the crap again.

Thanks for the replies every1

I also feel sometimes that im being targetted . Its like every1 around is happy, not happy like HAHA we like laughing happy but happy from inside. It doesnt matter whether those ppl are ignorant jerks or ppl who are into smokin and drugs, theyre all happy. Ive never done anything bad or wrong like that and ive focused on being a good person but i think thats been my mistake. Its really sad that i cant say im happy, ive been used so many times for various purposes by the most retarted ppl ever, yet all of them end up happier than me. I could go on and list a million incidents when this happened but really, IS THIS WHAT WEVE BEEN REDUCED TO???

I understand why ppl say there are UPS and DOWNS in life...but for me its just a downward trend. This isnt how i wanted to view my life at this time...but what can one do?

This post was last modified: 05-25-2008 11:43 PM by lonelydude.

Thanks for the replies every1

I also feel sometimes that im being targetted . Its like every1 around is happy, not happy like HAHA we like laughing happy but happy from inside. It doesnt matter whether those ppl are ignorant jerks or ppl who are into smokin and drugs, theyre all happy. Ive never done anything bad or wrong like that and ive focused on being a good person but i think thats been my mistake. Its really sad that i cant say im happy, ive been used so many times for various purposes by the most retarted ppl ever, yet all of them end up happier than me. I could go on and list a million incidents when this happened but really, IS THIS WHAT WEVE BEEN REDUCED TO???

I understand why ppl say there are UPS and DOWNS in life...but for me its just a downward trend. This isnt how i wanted to view my life at this time...but what can one do?

Yeah that's true. The jerks always seems so happy. The problem is you have to be happy with yourself and who you are. Try and be like them for just one time. I will feel guilty and fake. Lucky for them it seems they have no problem using other people.

I am also a person that was used a lot by people who dont give a crap about you. I just decided that I will give anyone one chance. If they use me fine but never again. I started to get pretty good at knowing when someone just wants to use me for his own good. If you can get something out of it fine - If not stand up for yourself and tell them to go to hell. It's not like you have anything to lose at that stage.

Dude thats exactly whats happened to me as well !! Ive also developed a very strong sense of who i can trust and who i cant. When somebody asks/wants something from me , all i want is that the person not hurt me. I dont necessarily want him to do something back for me , just not hurting me would be enough but that doesnt happen often as well...

Its really funny how similar we ppl are due to teh circumstances weve been through...its funny and SAD at the same time...... i keep on waiting for something to happen, something to change my life...will it ever happen???

This post was last modified: 05-26-2008 03:10 AM by lonelydude.

I also have that feeling. If it wasn't so sad it would be damm funny.I still have that little bit of hope that something might still happen to change my life but it fades a little as each day goes by. Im just afraid of the day I loose that last tiny bit of hope. No idea what i will do then.

It always amazes me that a lot of people dont realize who good they have it. If something ever happen to change our life's I think we will apreciate it A LOT more than people who takes it for granted.

I can really relate to that as well. I feel like im the only one of the ppl around me who gets robbed of my right and the rest are just lucky who have it all. I know every1 has their problems but i doubt anyone of them often get depressed coz of em and somethings things also go right for them which isnt the case for us. Sometimes i also feel that i got the feeling that were suffering for a reason, maybe its coz we have the power to stay alive and sane (just barely) and so we have to endure this???? I dunno it sounds pathetic and sad but .... I just dont know what to do anymore. Just like u said dude i still have that little voice inside me telling me everything is goin to be ok but everyday that voice gets quieter and quieter ...

This post was last modified: 05-26-2008 02:52 PM by lonelydude.