Over the years I've had 1 or 2 friends I could talk to or go out with, otherwise I've pretty much been a loner. I spent 10 years drinking alcohol because I couldn't deal with the pain of having no friends it was unbearable and I spent many days and nights crying.

I wouldn't say that I've always been alone. I went through the usual shit during middle and part of high school, but I've had a few friends here and there through that. Then later, as I became more sure of myself and gave less and less of a fuck about what other people think, I got more confidence and with that gained a modest amount of friends. Of course, there's only a few that I consider really close, but that's life.

And yeah, some of them are starting to slip away, but I'll make new ones. Life is temporary, so everything in it is temporary. You can't hold on to people when they are intent on disappearing, and so the best you can do is to make sure you've always got someone to get you through to getting someone else. Since that's the case, whether you know someone for 2 seconds or 2 years, it doesn't matter what they think, since eventually you'll move on from their ass anyhow.

I apologize for all the cynicism, but that's just how I roll.

I've been alone since the start too. not physicly, i come from a family of 7 so i was sourounded by people but all enemy. i was the odd ball who was picked on in my family. my older brother beat me up quiet a bit so when it came to school i was the quiet one in the back. It also made it so i when i came to junor high i wasnt afraid of getting hit. i did piss off some people and get it at school but nothing seresce. I also gained a friend that stands with me to day from that school. Hes one who will get your back and pay you back what you loan him just dont tell him anything inportent of any secrets. Hes a blaber mouth who sucks at leaving the past alone!!! ive tryed to talk to him about it but better to have one pretty good friend then none right. Besides that ive never had a girl friend and only ever went to 2 partys.

I started losing touch with my friends once high school ended and everyone was moving on to universities and such. My grades werent so good so I stayed at community college. I got the vibe that some people thought they were better than me for this, so I started to keep to myself. And here I am.

I was a pretty quiet and shy kid when I grew up. I didn't have any problems in my early years to make friends, when it was all about playing and having fun. But around later grade shool, things started to change. I wasn't cool enough to party and drink with the cool kids, I wasn't alternative enough to hang out with the alternative people, and I wasn't smart enough to belong with the smart people. Sure, I had friends among all those groups, but no one ever wanted me. No one ever invited me. I was just invisible

When I started high school, all my "friends" from grade school were gone. I tried really hard from the start to fit in in my new class. I told myself that this is a fresh start. I could make friends there. Here I don't have the same invisible role like back in grade school. Of course, that didn't work out. I really made an effort talking to all the cool kids, but I just felt so out of place with them. I accepted the silent role again, to avoid having to talk to them. Luckily there was another guy in my class who wasn't like those guys. We became friends pretty fast, since we had very similar interests and humor. We became the class outsiders, and that's pretty much all that our friendship was based on. We just spend all the time together in school, because we didn't have anyone else. Outside school, he had all of is old friends waiting for him, and I had no one. In the class, we were partners. After class, we went separate ways. He never made an effort to try and invite me anywhere, even though he always seemed to know how lonely I was. We didn't keep in touch for long after high school was over.

And here I am, four years after high school, still without any friends. Not so shy anymore though. I'm tired of that.

You know I have had friends that have in the past have had no friends of there own. I have always invited all my friends to come out with who ever I may be out with at the time. Years later I still know one friend that never had any friends at all. It was always me that would invite him out with my friends. None of my friends wonted to get to know him. I felt sorry for him but I could not make ppl like him. The only thing I could do is keep inviting him out which I did. Now he has a very good job and is quite high up in what he is doing so of course he has lots of work friends kissing his ass for a promotion. There not real friends to him of course but hes to stupid to see that. The other thing is I have very few friends now as I very really think someone is worth staying friends with. But you know that preteceler friend that I always invited out with me and my mates years ago has never ones invited my out with him and hes friends. your post just made me think of that.

maybe some ppl are just not worth knowing?

Sad to hear that the guy just turned on you like that after all the effort you made to help him. But I would rather have no friends than have a guy like that as a friend. He'll probably get a dose of his own medicine one day in the future

The guy I knew in high school, he would always mock me for never going to any parties, which made no sense to me because he never invited me to any, yet he always went on and on about the parties he had attended. Every monday he would ask about my weekend. "So, have you been.... partying this weekend?" he would always ask with a very sarcastic tone. Even the times when we met after high school, he would always ask like, "Have you been to any cool parties lately?" with that smug look on his face, like he hadn't figured out after all those years that I'm not the type of guy who goes to parties. God it pisses me off now when I think back about it. You're right, some people are not worth knowing

This post was last modified: 06-17-2008 08:07 AM by Jeremi.

dude, one of my "friends" is doing the same thing to me . He always makes fun of me of not doin anything or going anywhere and the ONly reason he gets to go someplace is coz his friends use him , like for money/bullying etc. Im just gonna stop talking to him now and get on with my life. I really feel for you dude coz it really sux to be ridiculed like that for something thats not really ur fault.

Why are so many of our stories the same?

3 years ago i got transferred to a new class. I was trying to fit in , which was somewhat ok , when my pal (who had already been in that class for a year) decided to tell fake stuff about me to other kids...now that really sucked. Also there was also this other guy who was kind of a loner, he used to let ppl walk all over him so he could talk to them. So we became friends though for some reason he kept a lil bit of distance coz i found out he had some parties where he invited all the "kool" kids and not me , eventhough we used to talk and hang out alot in school...anyway i had my "group" of friends outside the class, and well when we used to go out for parties and shit , i was the only one who used to invite him , none of the other ppl in my group wanted him , until they found out he was really really rich and loaded...well to make a short story even shorter, my "group" is now best friends with him, and i havnt even talked oto em in over a year (eventhough alot of em are in my class now) and that guy barely acknowledges that i exist

I have to conclude so ...these ppl have been nothing but bad news for us , and most of em are self-obsessed mother f*****s who dont acknowledge a good deed when its being done...

There's times I feel completely alone...though it is not so often nowadays. I mostly try not to feel alone....or feel like people only want to see me for certain reasons, talk about me behind my back, etc. I'm sure it happens, although I try to see people in a good light. I'm not perfect though.