Hi, I'm new here. I was just scrolling down the posts and the social anxiety part caught my attention. Some one close to me made some rather false acusations that really cut deep. I think that re-triggered my social anxiety. Some days I have no hope, I wonder if anyone notice me anymore. Enough of my sad life for now.  

screw labels, some people have less to say verbally, some people have less to say emotionally, some people are funnier, some are weirder, some are more active, some people like cities, etc.  . .

there is nothing wrong with being introverted....social anxiety...WE ALL have that  to an extent...WE all LATCH on to something, drug, booze, food, activity, jokes, drama, who cares. introverted people RULE. .. . . if you feel nervous like I often do, ere is what i have learned:

I am introverted  and i was suicidal a few times because the shyness was so painful, my awkwardness extreme, and my loneliness out of control (no family either) -

In wanting to die I knew there was a part that needed to die (cliche, I know) ---i hit many bottoms, and mistakenly always wanted someone else to pick me up...never happened (well, a white lab coat...) never will...not in the way we think we nee, anyway...

I let go of my expectations slowly - took a lot of time... I let go of diagnoses...I let go of drama, of resentment, of self blame, of feeling so bad for feeling  so lonely and shy. I stopped being so self conscious for why I was. I am far from perfect but I have so much freedom now. I take dance classes and I kinda suck, but it feels great and i don't care. I ask lots of questions if I feel shy because it keeps conversation flowing - i seek out neat things, so I share good music or art, etc...I share what makes me happy.

I love to play games, or watch movies...I am not that great at sitting in circles talking because it can end up getting to be too cynical and negative or inflated talk about how the world's gone wrong...I've been there and i have had enough of being bummed out. i don't ignore the world's problems, i just don't freak out over them anymore.

i try to  spend time alone. i still have fears, etc... but now i know i am human...

Great Advice, i want to stop my social phobia and loneliness because it makes me too negetive i have one close friend and i think i am driving her away because i am negetive. I just dont want to lose her my negetivity is replusive.

Another great way to stop your aniexty is through meditation, i had one session and after it i felt eeriely happy so yea..

words to the shy, from loud Leo:
1) If you practice what you're going to say to someone, you are not being youself, you're being fake. Thoughts are not stupid. How you think makes up who you are! Just let it roll baby.

2)Body language is important (smiling, nodding, waving, relaxing). Most shy people seem unapproachable because they are so quiet and mysterious.

3) Pay attention. Shy people spend a lot of time in their heads. Don't block out a conversation in order to listen to your own thoughts. If you give people your attention, you can focus on what they are saying, and your thoughts should follow that topic.

4) It's not what you say, but how you say it. Most people don't want feedback, they just want to talk to someone who acts interested. someone who will listen and agree.

Being quiet and shy makes people appear like they have ghosts in their closets. It says:
A)"I don't trust you with my thoughts"
B)"There's things about me that you don't need to know" ("I'm hiding something")
C)"I don't like you"
D) "You bore me"

Being loud and outspoken isn't a great quality, but shy people scare me a little. This is all opinion, and truly is not meant to piss anyone off.

Does anyone think that HOW TO INTERACT WITH OTHERS would be more helpful as a FORUM so members can start threads with different questions or advice they may have?

something i do that seems to help me when i'm nervous trying to talk to someone is i picture what i would say to someone i am very comfortable with, like my best friend or a sibling, and say it.

Greetings all. I have a questions and then an observation. What is a 'Junior' user? I thought I would start here since I would assume Junior (youth, child, teen) and the Username armywife would be a strange inconsistency.

"You never know what to say" You might be comparing yourself to others who seem to never run out of things to say. Sometimes, its not how well you can blab, but rather how well you listen. Almost anybody can pick up if someone is truly listening. As for friends...you could rank them from an aquiantance that you see sporadically to those very few friends you would trust with your life.

I have found that self-effacing humor was my way of getting over my EXTREME shyness in High School.

Thanks for the opportunity to post a thread.

Nevermind the "junior" question...I is now one :-)

Dreaming of Valdez,

Your advice was spot-on. I particularly liked what you said about 'being in your head' rather than being with other people.

I'm a strange mesh of shyness and boldness. Well, I was denied attention by my parents growing up, and was quiet, a book worm.

I decided I didn't like being that way, and became extremely bold. Now, I'm pretty much not afraid to approach ANYONE and strike up a conversation. When I see shy people whom I think seem nice, smart, etc...I just try to bring them out. Sometimes they may not like this because I can be like a bull in a china shop.

Sorry, to all the shy people who've I've hurt. I was just trying to find out what makes you tick!

Shy people are like a riddle wrapped in an enigma...I'm so curious what they have inside!

To me, shyness is almost selfish--like you've got this beautiful pearl inside you but you won't open up and let it glimmer in the light!

Colette, great idea--I have so much advice to give lol...I should have been a Dear Abby/Agony Aunt!

i'll take that as a truth >:-O