I'm an 18 year old guy from Arizona. I just graduated this spring and have been feeling especially lonely lately, though my recent wave of lonely-ness goes back to about late April.

I don't understand what it is, but I just don't fit in with people very well. I don't have a group of people that I can associate myself with. As far as I can tell I'm 100% unique/different/me.

I became very aware of this at the end of April when I went with 200 other band student to our traditional Disney Land Trip. Both of the mornings we were at the parks I couldn't find any groups to go with, so I found myself finding the nearest people I knew and kind of just tagged along. I don't think they even acknowledged I was there.

Then came Prom. I had an excellent self-confidence boost from my ability to actually ask a girl and get her to go with me. This was a complicated relationship (even before and after prom), to say the least. For most of the time at the dance she was with her friends (who I didn't really know) which left me wandering around by myself and getting sick off of Pepsi.

Up to this point friends had been leaving me left and right, and the only person I had left was this girl. She was my best friend and very possibly one of my only friends. She is one of the few people who aren't family who I can say I love. However, I believe I became too bold in our relationship and accidently ended it the night after prom. We didn't have sex (just incase you were thinking that) That's not what ended the relationship. It was a kiss. That's what I still don't fully understand.

So now that I lost my best friend and my love in one night, I locked myself in an emotional closet and waited untill after graduation so I could start forgetting. Needless to say, I haven't forgoten yet. And now I sit here, once again, alone with no friends to hang out with on the weekend.

Sorry about the wall of text
Typing that and getting it out just felt soooo good. I think I can get to bed now.