I don't get people. I mean no matter what i do and act like it seems like i can't make any friends. The problem really is that i don't go out. I stay home and study online. I have NO friends at all whatsoever. I haven't gone to a regular school in 2 years cause it was just too frustrating to meet people and be there friends. it's like people are just too busy or don't care at all. i cant tell if they're shy or if there's something wrong with me. When i reach out to people they ignore me which only makes me fear reaching out to others again. I'm funny and have an awesome personality and i'm actually attractive. I don't know if it's just bad luck or what but i can't seem to pin point why I can't make friends. The other day I was talking to this girl online and she was really quiet. She said she was shy and blah blah blah and so I tried to open up and keep the conversation going but after awhile she just stopped talking. People tell me to be aggressive or assertive but when i do that i get rejected. When i'm shy people think i'm weird. I don't know how to act anymore. I don't know what to say or be like with others cause i've tried all the different ways of connnecting with someone and it just doesnt seem to work. I go for hours not saying one word and the loneliness is driving me crazy. It gets worst when i hear or see people with their friends, laughing and just having a good time. I want what they have and wish i'd have that someday but when? How do people make friends? i'm not talking about just a casual acquitace, but i mean a REAL friend. Someone who's like your sister you can count on and who'll always be there for..who'll hang out with you and accept you unconditionally. Is there anyone out there who wants to be friends? =)

What do you mean when you say people ignore you when you reach out? Is it just kind of like they don't like you right off the bat or do you sort of interact but it slowly tapers off into nothing? Maybe you're trying with the wrong people? are these people who share your interestes and values and such? how many times have you failed?
It seems to me that if you're outgoing and friendly and you try, then the only reason for people not liking you (or just losing interest) is that you don't share enough in common (or you just rub them the wrong way, which happens sometimes).

I personally feel that TRUE friends are the ones you make when you're young, the ones you grow up with in school. I personally only have one friend but hes been my friend since 3rd grade and I trust him more than I do most of my own family . And regardless of the fact that we maybe only hang out twice a year (we live far apart) everythings pretty much always the same when we do.

Now, if I were to meet him for the first time say today, I can guarantee we wouldn't be friends. People need to feel comfortable around someone before they open up or move that person from acquaintance to friend and so on.

hope that made sense

Well I do pretty much the same things these other people do. The only problem is people my age in college are really shallow. Like if i set up an aol account with pictures of only me, they'd think i'm weird for not showing off the friends i have. It's like people would'nt wanna get to know you if you dont validate yourself as having friends. But how can i make friends when i have no friends? I'm trying to meet people online but when i look at their profiles they have pictures of then hanging out with their friends and it's like some kind of power trip. They think they're too good for me or something cause they have friends they can dangle in my face and i feel awkward sometimes cause i don't know how to tell them that i don't have friends. When people set up their profiles, they have like a ton of pics of them and their friends and even if you're good looking if you don't have social cred people would think your weird and just blow you off. So then i have to put up this facade like i have friends and i'm social and cool but in reality i'm not so i feel bad sometimes for lying to them. I just want to be myself and have a friend who'll be my friend even if i have NO friends and she hAS a million. Well that's the thing about connecting with people, they don't look deep enough. The conversations are boring and meaningless and feel rehearsed for some reason. Like i'd be talking to a girl and she'd say something awkward and i wouldn't know what to say and it's like it just doesn't work out. I don't know how i'd be rubbing people off the wrong way from how i come accross cause i'm actually really social with people online but it's like i show more interest in them than they do with me. And someone told me i should exert an effort so that's what i do. If i just say one word comments like "cool" or "neat" or "fun" they'd think i'm a snob. What should i say to people online? They ask me if i have myspace but i don't...in myspace since i have no friends it's blank...I can't even post my pic cause i'm avoiding this girl online i used to date cause i'm scared she'll find out how much a loser i am not that she probably already doesn't know. All i need is that one friend and i'll have the other connections. But how does it happen when all the people I talk to ALREADY have their group of friends and probably think i wanna latch on to them or something (which i do) cause i wanna be a part of their crowd. I need to feel validated and important i wanna feel human again. I just need to know how to talk to people...what to say, how fast should i move, all those things i need to learn. IF i don't try too hard, it fizzles our cause the other person just forgets about me, if i try the other person thinks i'm desperate...Or is it all in my head? the other day i called this guy i used to be friends with from my former college and we haven't talk in a while but i called just to say hi and left my number in his voice mail. HE never called me back. How can i meet people when i don't have other people i know who can introduce me to their friends? All i have are people online and you know how online goes...people don't consider online friends real. at least not till you meet them, but if i met someone online the world still keeps turning and if i lose touch with that person that's one lost friend i cant afford to lose cause I HAVE NO ONE AGAIN and have to start over. I'm tired of the occcasional hang out with someone far away i barely know. I need to feel like i'm a part of something special with other people. Gosh i'm so sad.

Well I think that if you want to try to make friends, don't try to be anything that your not, what I mean by that is, just be your natural self. I've tried in the past to act in a different way socially and it just didn't work for me.

so try befriending older ppl. u just might b 2 mature in some ways 2 b able 2 relate 2 a younger crowd

sounds like some real shallow ppl ur dealing with there

y mention it at all? again... yep... sounds like ur trying 2 integrate in2 ppl who rnt very mature

yep & again... shallow & immature

u should LoL

back again 2 the type ur trying 2 mingle w/being 2 shallow/immature

yiesh. looks like ur xerting 2 m-u-c-h effort LoL 2 me

y care about what peeps think so much? just b urself & if they dont like u 2 hell w/them

heres 1 of ur main probs. ur looking 2 other ppl 4 this. when it should b cuming from inside urself

that really shouldnt b taken personal. it probably had nothing 2 do w/u

bullchit LoL. ive got friends online who r so near & dear 2 me. & i know alotta peeps who feel the same

i really understand this. i was like this after my breakup. but u never gain anything in life w/o some risk. im glad that EYE took the risk

i really ripped ur post 2 pieces LoL. dunno y. never do that. but just had 2 this time
ur #1 issue is that u have no dayum self confidence
id work on that if i were u
its like BlueSky said... u need 2 b urself

Newbirth, that was one cool reply lmao..
Never seen someone do an extensive break-up of a post reply lol i don't even have to say anything cos you've said most of what I'd say. So yeah, crew, sometimes people can tell if you're being yourself or not, if you're trying too hard or you don't give a shit, so it's alway always better to be yourself if you wanna find a good friend.

"y care about what peeps think so much? just b urself & if they dont like u 2 hell w/them" - EXACTLY.
That's how I got through a number of backstabbers who now just can't stop being my friends. Make it look like no one can bring you down, sometimes that makes them look at you differently and might look up to you for not giving a hoot about how they think or treat you. At least that's what happened in my case.

Yeah, I guess the only strategy that hasn't been tried is having NO strategy, just being yourself... But this is my experience till now, I try to just relax and be myself, but you know what, those old fears from the past start to boil in me, I try to ignore it/repress it, whatever, but eventually they boil over, and I give in and start acting akward, tense and boring...

Yes that's always the case for me too..lol. But eventually, you pull through it, that's important

Yes, baby steps

The problem is I don't even know when i'm being myself. I'm quite versitile so i'm a lot of things. I can click with all types of people and crowds cause theres always something I can relate to with them. But yeah I should be myself. I find however though that people are never themselves. I can tell when someone's being unnatural but that's how people are nowadays. You know what my problem, the people i talk to are fake. If i show them i'm real it scares the crap out of them and they think im weird for being real. Like when i used to talk to this girl, she used to always say that i was random but i was just speaking my mind. I mean i don't know what she'd have me talk to her about...I guess drinking beeer and partying is what she wanted hear, but i raised philosophical questions and wanted to have a deeper conversation...she just wasn't used to that i guess. This other girl i talked to online was really cool. We talked about psychology society and people in general and got really deep with her. I don't know how to tell though when i'm being myself or not cause im so used to not being myself i think i forgot who i am or don't even know. Do people ever really know who they are???? That's such a broad statement too!! "who are you?"