Hi there. My name is Aki. I'm 19, a college student, and really lonely.
I'm bisexual, so if there are any girls or guys that are interested in
getting to know me better, pm me?

I think I need love again. My last relationship just hurt so bad, that
I've been searching for the wrong people.
Actually, I'm not going to hide what happened in my last relationship.
You may think me a fool after reading this, but now my heart has been
ripped and shredded apart, and I lost three people that meant a lot to me.

So, it all started when I met this girl named Kathy. When we first met,
she was just my best friend's (Julian) girlfriend. They were going to get married, but then he ditched her on the wedding day for some other girl
and I stayed there for Kathy the entire time. That was actually the second day I met her, and the last day I spoke to Julian. Anyway, so after a long
while of getting to know Kathy, her and I became best friends like no other.
We shared the same feelings, had the same opinions, and...unfortunately,
had the same taste in men. I met this guy named Carl, who was so sweet
to me. He was just so kind, and I admitted my liking to him, but he said he
wasn't ready for a relationship, for his ex girlfriend had recently passed
away. After about a month of getting to know him, I introduce him to
my best friend Kathy. I told her I really had a crush on him and that
I hope he'd accept me to be his lover some day. She said it was really cute...
The very next day~ no lie~
Kathy tells me she thinks he's the one.
I, of course, rolled my eyes and told her to wait a
while. I don't know if this was because I was really jealous, or if I just
wanted her to get to know him longer than a day's worth. But
a week later, Kathy and Carl got together.

Now, I of course was jealous and sad, but I try and hide it by telling them
both how happy and supportive I am of their relationship, but when I was
alone and being all emo, I ran into this boy named Brian. He has a girlfriend
named Colleen, but their relationship was so bad and childish, they broke
up and three days later they were back together, then they would repeat
that process like 10 times. O_O

But then Brian said he really liked me. But that he wanted more than just
me. He also wanted a girl in the relationship...
BUT for a while there he stopped looking, it was just me and him, and
things couldn't get better. That was, until I stupidly introduced him to
my best friend kathy. OH yes, and she was STILL with Carl. But that
didn't stop her from taking Brian from me. The very next day, Brian told
me he was with kathy, but kathy hadn't yet decided to break up with
carl. I was so heart broken, and Kathy kept denying she was with
brian, but Brian showed me proof...I look back and I don't even see what
I liked in brian . I mean, he was always very honest with me...I just didn't
appreciate how greedy he was. He seemed to be only nice to me when
i bought him stuff. P: I guess I was just desperate then, and even now,
i am, but i want to find the right person.

After a while, I confronted kathy with all the proof Brian gave to me,
and she got all upset and angry, and said that it wasn't her fault that
men just liked her. But I wish she realised she betrayed me.

In secret, I told Carl that kathy was cheating on him, and he should move
on to someone more trustworthy. I didn't even mean myself at that time
because...well, because of kathy, Carl treats me like shit. Kathy tells
Carl i'm always messign with her head...(that was when i was trying to
help kathy decide if she should stay with Carl or stay with Brian...)
so when he told me to fuck off and leave his girlfriend alone, I got really
aggrivated at Kathy. What was wrong with her?! What did I do to deserve
this treatment? everyman i fell for she keeps taking away from me, and
when she asks "who should i be with? the guy i snatched before you could
take him? or the guy I stole from right under your nose?"

the worst part of it all was that I was mostly in love with Kathy before
she got together with Carl. and to not be able to be with any of the three
people I loved....it hurt so deep.

since Kathy's confession, and me breaking up with Brian, and carl getting
into a car accident...I haven't spoken to any of them. and I have been
having major trust issues lately. I think I've been seriously affected by
what Kathy did to me. I'm afraid of becoming close to people because I
don't want to be hurt or betrayed anymore.
I know it'll be hard to find someone who can deal with this kind of baggage
but if you're willing to take my heart and care for it, I promise you i'll do
the same.

-Aki

PS. So, again, if you're interested...feel free to PM me.

This post was last modified: 10-11-2008 06:07 AM by SleepyKid.

I love you ^_^

I love you too, man! <3

It sucks.
Sorry to here that.

Don’t looking for love too much
When you are not looking for love then you can see more clearly.
Too many demands only cause cost increasing.
Right love will come on time.

Cheers!

yeah, i suppose you're right. I think the kathy incident was actually
the first time my heart has ever felt anything for anyone. I want to try
it again, but starting anew. I don't expect I will get anyone from this site.
But it doesn't hurt to try...at least, for me. I don't exactly have anything
left to lose after what happened. C:

interesting story.

I think you will find love again.
Hope someone PM's you (I'm taken.. just wanted to say.. interesting story)

cheers

thanks, it's really nice that you have such confidence in me.

I really sorry that happened to you. I had a best friend date a girl i liked and she used to like me as well and another best friend kinda messed up another potential relationship. I'm taking Ithought's advice, I'm done looking for love........maybe it will find me and good luck on your search

I really sorry that happened to you. I had a best friend date a girl i liked and she used to like me as well and another best friend kinda messed up another potential relationship. I'm taking Ithought's advice, I'm done looking for love........maybe it will find me and good luck on your search

yes, there is a time when ppl must to searching and allow the love to go to them. C:
i think just letting people know i'm available might do the trick.