(sorry for my bad english)
Hey
I am Lisa..16 years old from the Netherlands. 2 years ago I was very depressed. One day I ended in a hospital because I tried to kill myself. I took a overdosis. For 3 months I went to a clinic. It was a very hard time..I was feeling that nobody understood me.
It's now 2 years later. I'm feeling great and I'm so sorry for what I did to my parents and sister!!
  

Guest , You shouldnt have to change for someone else but do it for you. There will always be people that will like you and those that wont no matter what you do so just be yourself. Look withing yourself and identify whats causing all these problems and this desire for danger in your life. That seems to be the big problem you do things whithough thinking about the consequences because you enjoy the thrill of it. It's good to have fun just dont cross a line and end up in jail or worse. Stop and ask yourself why am I doing this? is it worth it? will I regret this decision later?Yeah everyone has standards when it comes to looks but if you make it your top priority the relationhsips arent gonna last long. Changing your personality is not gonna be easy but if you think that it will be better for you oyu shoudl work towards it. When you are thinking of doing somehting completely stupid stop and think is it worth it? When it comes to women once you meet a girl dont look for just looks but get to know her personality and see if she has things in common. As far as your dept try to develop some sort of plan to help you save money dont waist it on cars and girlfriends maybe toalk to some agency or company that can help you with your dept. Get another part job if you can.
The most important thing is dont do anything just so people will like you because there will always be people that dont no matter what you do so dont try to change to please others but to help yourself.

Hey Lisa. First of all you can't change the past all you can do is leanr from it. I'm shure your mom and sister love you despite everything and wouldnt want you to torture yourself over somethign you can't change. Just be there for them right now and it will make up for all the past events.

It is SO HARD to find a compatible mate these days! The Internet is the solution. However, please don't rush into anything. The internet makes possible these "Instant relationships" which can just as quickly go sour. It can hurt like crap and also the person might just be using you--if male, for money or emotional support, if female, the obvious, for sex. SO take your time. You can also have a pretty cool relationship online--entirely online! You can sort of have a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' online who is in another country or state or city or province. Just chat each day, eventually talk on the phone if you like. But DO NOT meet in real life unless you trust that person. It should take time to build the trust.

Big hugs!!!

Wow;
It's interesting to read this entire "thread," because many people have interesting insights, and perspectives, generally, because 1: the themes are ones I have considered, and it's interesting, for whatever reason, to get outside of myself, and 2: I like to read, and if I'm repeating a previously discussed concept, appy polly loggies.
One issue that I consider significant in my own loneliness is the fact that I am not a very interesting person. For the past few weeks, I've been watching persons who seem to enjoy life, and people, and the people around them always seem to be laughing, or at least interested. However, because, for whatever reason, my jokes aren't funny, or because whatever I'm talking about I don't have much to interest and entertain others to say about it, others nod and go on to more interesting things.
Self-esteem is something that is important, because without it, one won't have the capacity to think highly enough of one's own opinions, or jokes, or whatever, to express them.
But what if one has the esteem and whatever the opinions, jokes, whatever, aren't interesting? Is the self-esteem them useless, because it bolsters stupid, unwanted conversation (such as this post)?
And how does one become interesting, or fun?
I remember when I was young, people said, "Be yourself, and you will meet people, you will find a place in the world." What if oneself doesn't have a place in a community?
Note, I didn't say, "In the world," I said, "In a community."
How does one find a raison d'etre if that reason is so boring, and unwanted, that it shuts one out of the common, communal pleasures many people seem to enjoy?
This fits into the concept of finding love because the people I'm attracted to, or people generally, don't find me interesting enough to actually want to spend any time with me, and I find it very frightening and frustrating, as I'm just now starting to develop my own life, outside of the one built for me by the parents.
So.
Sorry for the extended wordishness; I hope all persons on this forum can find a way to develop in a way they want to.

The question I think I'm actually trying to get across is, "What if this is as good as it gets?

The thing is if you believe something it becomes reality in alot of ways. If you think thats as good as it gets then it will be. If you believe there is no love out there you wount find it because you will firmly believe it doesnt exist and even if an oportunity comes along you will miss it. Sometimes we all struggle to find a place where we belong but as soon as you start believeing it doesnt exist it will become reality. I've believed alot of times that I dont belong or that I wont find someone or make friends and when I believed it I realy was alone. Over time I began reading that alot of people struggle with thesame thing and realised that if you want to change your life you have to let go of the old way of thinking that oh no one understands me I'm alone, I cant relate or I'll be alone forever because even if there are people who can relate to you or like you or whatever you will never see it because you think your alone. I still struggle with my shyness and insecurities in school but I'm tying to overcome . I've made some new friends and I know I can get myself out of the rut I'm in. The main thing is to try to put yourself out there and yes it's so hard because you believe you can't relate but if you dont try you will never find out where you belong it's just all about taking the risk. If you have a certain hobby try to find people that can relate on that. Take this forum for example.. we were all brought here because we feel lonely or struggle in our lives and now we are all talking and sharing our experiences. The social life works in similar ways it just sometimes takes time to find people that you can realy relate to.

I think this is a really hard subject, I agree with everyone who says you shouldn't change your personality to please others, however I think to be honest, and this is only my opinion, maybe the way we get ourselves accross to others is what needs to be addressed, everyone is interesting in there own way and it's all about relating the the material, i think you can quite quickly find out what someone else is into and when meeting new people I always find you want to show an interest in THERE personality and interests rather than your own, asking questions, being interested in what they are saying and where you can draw comparisons to your own life you have things in common, no matter how small they are and that gives you things to talk about and elaborate on

I'm trying not to sound bitter or make people feel worse, but the fact is that love is based only on looks. I found this out the hard way. I met someone and we had everything in common. Even our speech patterns were similar...I fell in love with him but he didn't want me. The reason? I just wasn't quite cute enough for him. It's just human nature and the reason people like myself are doomed to be alone.

hmm. I have to disagree with anyone who says that love has to do with looks because I think that is my curse. I have wanted to be loved for the last 4 years and still the only thing I find is people who want to sleep with me (which they dont get, Im not desperate), but alas I find my looks are my curse. I am a nice person, I have a big heart and there is more brains than breast here. I know everyone always thinks, if only! But I just wanted to conclude to all those who think that looks are all that.......THEY AREN'T