It is not unusual for there to be some anger. You don't know why she left. It is a pretty basic desire to want to know what happened. At the very least you should have been given that.

Mick, i have to disagree with you. You are having a very rough time and it is having an effect on your decisions. You may feel like you are a waste of space but you are not.

Hi, Michael, sorry to hear about your awful situation.
But this what I dont understand...

Did you think that if she left her first husband for you she wouldn't do same thing to you? This happens all the time. Lovers break up marriages and then think that won't happen to them. But unfortunately what goes around comes around. It might not be necessarily your fault but this kind of people pull this shit all over again on everybody. That should have been a sign for you.


I agree with Neleena...try to contact your kids. They are probably teenagers right now and are very curious why you were never there. But it's better for you to explain the whole situation, I'm sure they will understand. I feel a little bid of hate toward my father and thoughts like "I hope he dies alone.."have crossed my mind. My parents divorced long time ago. What I don't understand still is why he never visited us. I keep in touch with him and he says he "loves" me but words mean nothing. So, I can't forgive him that because I don't see any serious reasons why he couldn't .Thats why I hope he dies alone cause I won't be there to wipe his shitty ass when he can't get up..


You don't want same thing happening to you. As much as you hate her you still have the right to see your children as much as she does. You don't know, maybe they can still bring joy into your life.
I hope it works out.

This post was last modified: 06-12-2008 02:42 AM by IntolerablE.

Hi, Michael, I'm also sorry for you.

That's true, I've seen it happen to my father. Well... many women did this to him.

I agree, you should see your children. It's also just my experience, I can't say that I hate my father, but as he never seen me when I needed him, I don't really feel like he is my father, I don't want to see him now... It's such a shit when children feel such things to their parents.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Mick))))))))))))))))))))))
It's ok to be angry. There are five steps to loss. Not everyone goes through all five but, here they are-> Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. No, you can't control what your heart feels. Sometimes the only way out of the pain is to go through it. I am glad that you are able to acknowldege these feelings because they are important.
Yes, you gave yourself to someone who broke your heart to say the least. But as the song goes, everybody plays the fool. I bet there's not one person on this board that hasn't had their heart broken by someone.
There are people here who know how it feels to lose a relationship so, don't feel alone in all this.

Right now, you have unfinished business. You asked me not to judge you. I am not here to judge you and please forgive me if I, in any way, made you feel as though I had judged you. Mother Teresa said, "The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted."

Mick, I respect your decision. I am here to support you. You are wanted. You are wanted. You are wanted.

This post was last modified: 06-12-2008 12:55 PM by Naleena.

thanks for the replies,
intolerable and dog, I never said that i broke up her marriage , I said that she was married when we met. Let me explain.When we met she was living alone and after we were going out and i asked her to marry me(on her 22nd birthday )and she said yes she told me that she had to get her divorce and that was the first time i found out she was married.Yes the warning bells should have sounded then, but i was so in love. As i said in my first post, there is so much more to this story, please dont assume anything .
I have learnt not to assume anything with anyone ore any situation because, to me , that almost seems like a judgement of sorts has been made.
I dont mean to sound hard or annoyed as i am neither . If nayone needs to verify something please ask.
Naleena, sorry i didnt mean to sound like i meant you were judging me , it was meant as post to all not to judge me.So i apologise to you.

Oh, I understand, sorry.

Micheal,
No appolgies needed! You didn't do anything, silly! Just know I'm here for you and I really mean that. I don't have all the answers but, I am a great listener. Let me know if you ever want to talk. I'd be honored to get to know you.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Mick)))))))))))))))))))))))))

I have been thinking about Michael today. Has anyone heard from him? I wonder how he is getting along. Let's all keep him in our thoughts.
Thanks, everyone.

To Michael.

First I would like to say that I am deeply sorry for what you have experienced and how you feel about yourself and some other things.

You sound like a great person though. The fact that you feel like that about your children shows how great of a father you are. I am sure they realize that.

Hopefully you can inform us sometime in the future about what is currently going on with you.

Take care, God bless.

Joe

Hiya Michael

I have read what you have said and what everyone has written...and I have to say that for many people they may say that stopping your medication is stupid...but ask yourself why you have done this? You have said that you need a transplant...my friend had one after 2 and a half years...if your medication says that you will have 4-5 years then surely it is worth waiting.

I also agree with what several people have said...but I will add my own thoughts.

I teach a huge number of kids who have never known either or both parents. Now I don't have kids and never will but I am sure that your kids would want to know who you are and what is happening in your life...go for it and see what happens...if nothing happens then what have you lost...the first time you see them they will ask questions of themselves.

Finally....don't go back over old ground as to why you split up. It may be very amicable...but there may be many other things that you find out. There may be nothing that you find out but hindsight is a very powerful and destructive thing that we use against ourselves. My counselling has allowed me to stop looking in hindsight because it may never have happened anyway.

There are loads of us here that just want to help...what ever I can do to help you I will...you have lots of friends here for whenever or however long you want us.

Mat