I'm in the Navy station in Japan. My ship is out to sea 8 months out of the year. I have no life when we are in port I just sleep and go out for food. I usually avoid people when at sea and go to bed as early as possable. When we get back from a long underway period there is always a large group of people, family members of people on board, waiting for their loved ones to get off the boat. But there has never been anyone waiting for me. I don't really get to talk to any of my family and even when I do nothing of importants is said. I feel I've fallen victim to apathy. I don't care about my job or anything else. I just want to sleep and eat once and a while. Thats about it.

When im in crowd, i always feel cold. people r always look so exciting, happy, especially in all kinds of holidays. but i just feel nothing,and only want to find a quiet place to stay.thats more safe for me.

why not talk to ur family?because they dont care about u??why closed ur door?why refused people? u r always someone who be loved in this world. u just didnt know it before.

im waiting for ur new post.

will u go home this christmas?