ok so i have been really trying to talk to people ,my god its hard today i talked to two people from online 1 male and 1 female and i got freaked out by both!
the male is 34 from england Mark ,right away he asks me" what food i like then that he would like to wine and dine me ......ok its a lil far between japan and england but hey who knows what the future holds .then he keeps saying would you like that?(feels uncomfortable) then he asks for webcam and tells me how beautiful my hair is that he loves hair and show him how long it is ......mmmmk. that after he wines and dines me he would like to run his hands trough my hair gently.....may i?he says"my hands are small"
i say "i dont know how to respond to that?"i dont usually talk of sexually stimulateing things that you would do to each ther in the 1st date.
he says "sorry i dont mean to make you uncomfortable "
"thats ok " i reply half heartedly trying to give the benefit of the doubt.
he starts saying his cam is acting up and needs to shut it down a sec .
then he starts saying again ,that he really loves my hair and that he really would keep asking me to let him play with it,i said "lol hair fetish" i mean what the he*l am i suppose to say????? then he says "may i? " may you??? you do realize we are a ocean apart dont you?and your cam is off ,please dont be masterbateing....i think to myself.so i shut down my cam say "sorry i am playing a full screen game ,i need to talk to the kids online for a bit" and close the convo .
it was a bit longer than that but that was the gist of it.....
thats freaky man,especially to someone you just met,FFS!where are the normal guys that have something in common with you ,wanna talk and laugh and get to know you and if you really feel for each other dont need to discus or ask "may i?" because you both will know in that moment all you want and if you fit and its right......."may i play with your hair ?"pffffffffffffft.

2nd convo this girl starts a chat with me,says she knows me from long ago .
nope dont know her she isnt on my list, i ask are you sure its not my teenage daughter you are thinking of we use the same messenger addy,she isnt here tho.
she says no its you ,hmmmm ok my mind isnt what it use to be plus i am still in shock over hair boy so i indulge her,she says "you have lovely eyes ,you are a attractive woman"mmmmmk so i reply" so am i stretching it to ask that you are lesbian or bisexual since you are a female and complimenting me?" she says "i am bi curious,im martha ,27have you ever kissed a girl? do you have thick legs? can i see you on webcam?" R O F L! ummmmmmk so i say "yea , you see i like to see who is seeing me on cam ,do you have one cause it just feels wierd to be watched by you dont know who??" she says "i use too but i dont now , do you want a pic??" and tries to photo share a pic to which i decline ,i have been keylogged before with a picture download. she says "is it better to kiss a female ?i am BBW would you go with BBW?" i reply "i dunno depends if you love them and thier ability to kiss i guess but if you dont have a cam i dont wanna cam for all i kow your a guy pretending to be a lesbian and have lezbo chat to get off"........ok again i am in japan 1st off , i am not haveing webcam sex 2nd with anyone ever,and 3rd where the hell are normal people nowadays?
is the only date i am ever gonna get freaky ones? no normal ones??? is 35 w/kids and bbw too late? to even make friends? because so far i cant find a decent regular friend to chat with ,definately no one to date, and the people interested scare the crap out of me......
maybe i should just lock myself up here in japan at least everyone ignores me and give up on trying to get out of being so dam* lonely cause everyone is psycho ,no joke.

2 webcam chats today both freaked me out,hey to each thier own really !i have no problem with peopl e who are gay or people who have fetishes or if you wanna dress up in teddy bear suits or fill up a baby pool full of gravy and have me eat a bucket of fried chicken in it !!!but dont you wait more than 5 minutes before trying to get your jollies off online with perfect strangers???i am just dissappointed in people today i am scared of the world and this crap aint helping thats for sure
disillusioned.......and scared of the internet today.

hahahhaha yea its funny in a way after i put a good several hours between it and me kinda way ....
but i was seriously freaked out.
is it like this everywhere?or is just datesites? or is just my age group cause its shameful i think the 35 plus group is worse than the teen group ,almost makes me think men my age have the right idea when they shack up with girls thier daughters age if the same age peole are this freaky give me a lil innocence anyday please.plus have you ever noticed that even as females get older we are attracted to younger guys?i see some teens(18-19im a mommy remeber i do have ethics shady but still there) i think ahhhhh if only i was my daughters age i would ask that one out but i rarely see a guy my age or older and think ahhhhh i would love to ask that balding old short guy out which is probably what i should do since i am quite intimidateing at 5'7 very blue eyes /blond and BBW.because otherwise i wont ever get a date may get turned down a million times but one of those pudgy lil fellas got to say yes......
course its more fun to sit at home and stare at the boys that pass by and yell to my 17 yr old daughter upstairs "hurry up and come down! theres a hot one walking down the street,go get him baby !!!!!" and just live vicariously through her??? o.O
if she wasent a blond asian i wouldnt believe she is mine tho......she has absolutely no interest in dateing and with her father (lets not count how many times i caught him i dont have enough time in a week to count it all up ) and myself (i was a bad girl in my youth before marriage thats why karma is kicking my @ss right now) she should be just a terriable person but i have never met anyone so bent on celibacy who wasent a religious freak but her.........."im waiting for the one i will marry ",where did she get these ideas????she is never gonna get married at that rate ......cause you gotta go on a date !!!think i force fed her too many disney movies as auto babysitter and she has all these morals her father and i both lacked at her age plus the home schooling she did always very sheltered child .
lolololol funny thing is she comes here to read these forums but has only ever posted once and she laughs at what i say about her ,anyway we just been haveing way too much sugar lately,the natural high pure cane sugar
gonna go have another couple spoonfuls brb!!!!

No one here but us chickens... !

Have you tried yahoo groups, or something similar? There are lots based on specific hobbies/interests, like gardening or Harry Potter. You might meet some nice people that way, and you can remain anonymous.

There are even Japanese ex-pat forums online, unless that has already disappointed as another dead end.

The great thing about the Internet, is that just anyone can post. The horrible thing about the internet is that just anyone can post.

And as the saying goes, trying to sample the Internet is like trying to take a sip off from a high-pressure fire hose, and trying to reach out online, is like calling out to the riders on a rollercoaster as it thunders by!

So the same question arises again, with this new challenge, whether you are only seeking commiseration and to get your bearings, or whether you seek help in strategizing solutions.

And simply tell us all, either way, rather than just ignoring all of the posts by people who have tried to be helpful, beyond only sympathy. -That is, unless, of course, you are still too distraught even for that. And no, I am not being sarcastic. Do as ever you think best.

Yeah. I like the internet.
People are not judged by their race or religion or their appearance, we can make friends with anyone. Almost like kindergarden.

It sucks that there has to be creeps on the internet. I guess that is why my parents don't allow me to have a webcam or to post pics of me...

brokendreams- well you are a minor so maybe you should not post your pic i however have never really worried about it , i guess i feel that there arent many serial killers who will go out of thier way to pay to come here then brave the none english country and crazy roads trying to find me. lol
but you never know..........
my oldest daughter calls herself pcgracey pc=personal computer and gracey is nickname for grace and she posts her pics constantly ! swimsuit ones and everything .....o.O.i do however get nervous when she posts the same pictures here in japan because she is easily within reach so i guess its what you are comfortable with????children will do as they like in the end so i let her use her better judgement .
i will show you my pic .....being anonymous has never been my problem.i feel more as if they dont remeber me anyway.

aaron-i really dont get you most the time >.> in the sense that i dont ignore anyone on these forums ,who all these posts offering what help is it that you refer too? as i have only ignored the one post by you asking the same question "So the same question arises again, with this new challenge, whether you are only seeking commiseration and to get your bearings, or whether you seek help in strategizing solutions. And simply tell us all, either way, rather than just ignoring all of the posts by people who have tried to be helpful, beyond only sympathy. -That is, unless, of course, you are still too distraught even for that." -.- or the original question was "Do you want help, as whatever little is possible online, or just sympathetic commiseration? (Yes, I do have to ask.)"to which i only ignored you ,lets see if i can answer it since is seems to be bothering you so overwhelmingly as to bring it up again.

well the 1st time you said it i didnt know how to answer it and found just a bit abrasive at a bad time when just resisting the urge to find a nice bridge ,rope or razorblade was occupying my mind......and yes kids suicide is a permanate soultion to a temporary problem so dont try it at home.... lets see.......if i only wanted someone to commiserate with i dunno probably just hold it in as i always have .point is i feel a need to make a change and quick in my life,as i feel i am running out of time as far as my childrens happiness is concerned, but upon my own reserch i have exhausted the possiabilites and reached out on these forums in a sense of almost suicidal desperation to calm myself down.so far every strategizing solution you have mentioned i have been there did that. although i would love to have anyone provide me with fresh ideas to a solution if the best that you can offer is the ex-pat community (they offer less help than yourself) or makeing money on ebay??? (lol you must have no idea how much shipping is, no one will buy anything ,tried it too because i have 500 beanies i want to get rid of and cant here cause they arent worth the postage) ....then i guess i am left with only being able to commiserate,..... to sit here and piss in the pot with the rest of you all to see who has the crappiest life of the day contest.....or until someone really takes it upon themselves to care instead of likeing to pretend they actually do care about others social and emotional welfare..... i can admit that i am being sarcastic btw=)) as for being too distraught .....not this week !between the bag of sugar i am consuming to stay on a sugar high and the freaks at the friend finder site i have been pretty amused in a horrified kind of way!!!hope that finally clears that up for ya there.cause your really trying to blow this buzz and i really dont want to start on the 2nd bag.......give me a break guys its this ,alcohol,or drugs and lots of them....my baby and i prefer sugar.

now back to topic of this column today i had my 3rd encounter! yes ,try ,try again!ok so my new ideal future mate is a 58 yr old gender bender, a guy that wears more makeup ,looks better than me in a dress and still has his FRANK AND BEANS! o.O
oh donnnnnnaaaaa oh donnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaa i had a girl and donna was her name ! come on everybody sing along.....

then theres me and my baby girl last week webcam piccy

not sure if i can take the competition.....wish i had his figure....o.O sad
ok so here is what my newly gender compromised friend had to say....
donna says "Ok, I bet I know what you are thinking. It's true I have my Mothers features and my Fathers fixtures. I am a female illusionist and I performe on stage for various charities. But that is not all, lets face it I just have too much fashion ability to be of one gender. If you are brave enough to meet me be ready to laugh a lot, life is to short to not have a lot of fun with it. And after all most of life is a performance of one kind or another mine is just a little different, well, ok a lot different but what fun it is. BTW You are just too cool, makes me wish I was younger or you were older.Being me is like being a elephant, fun to look at but you don't want to take one home. O'well a girl has to do what a girl has to do even if she is not all girl or girl all the time. You make me wish I did not have so many years on me because I would be at your doorstep."
hahhahaha well now i have seen it all !!!!plus about 4 more huge pics of his costumes and his constant email ,think i may actually keep this one around for awhile.....o.O I HAVE A FRIEND I HAVE A FRIEND hahahaha
well my block and delete contact finger isnt itching yet and he hasent offended me,..... mostly made me laugh and laughter is good for you.
he may not be the right gal for me but he might be a real fun friend.
anyway still not a normal one but less offensive and i have to say it is so nice to not feel offended!
wonder what people i will meet this week ??? this is turning into some wierd kind of dream ,like the time i ate those chocolate covered potatoe chips and saw my dog do things with kermit the frog that should be illegal ...@.@

still no normal people in sight yet so the search continues.......ttfn.

It seems to me that all manner of practical suggestions, for better or worse, and from several different people, indeed went unanswered by you, lonely2beeme. Will you insist upon citations?

As the saying goes, the devil is in the details. For example, again, and as far as connecting to less flaky people, indeed the persecuted Buraku are in most every way indistinguishable from other Japanese. Is it the same, or might there be greater sympathy and common cause? And so, I am actually curious as to the Buraku attitude toward Gaigin such as we. But perhaps my question is stupid to one who has lived in Japan for years as you have.

Indeed, reaching out to the Japanese ex-pat community and making money via the internet, eBay or otherwise, all seems exactly the foolish oversimplification you portray, until one pursues the prospects in any greater salient detail, creatively confronting each petty obstacle in turn. And indeed, several have endeavored you engage you in just such conversation, for whatever that might be worth, if ever given any chance. There are no guarantees, however. And nothing will be easy. And we only know as much as you have gotten around to telling us. And so, indeed, only you may decide what is best.

I will not knit my brow, wring my hands and beat my breast professing the depth of my care. Nor have we the x-ray into the human heart and soul, by which to gage and quantify the upwelling of tenderness. Nevertheless, whereas normal folk might likely tell us all where to go and what to do with ourselves, I, for one, still believe that two heads are better than one, and remain at your disposal.

After all, the first one who must believe in the urgency of your plight is yourself. So please consider that point already conclusively validated on this forum.

Hi Lonely2bee,

Your daughter is just beautiful! You should be so proud. She could grow up to be a model or actress and do great in this world. Eurasian kids are so wonderful!

I have met freaks online (MANY) and normal folks. My husband and I met online. Watch out for chats as most people are horny and just want someone to provide cam amusement for them. There are non-sexual chat rooms which is abetter idea!

well what can i say aaron .......guess you wont be satisfied until i just give in and say "you are right my holiness ,completely and utterly right" cough*crock of%$&#*cough
though not all of us may be as eloquent as you want everyone to think you are ,we know.we do think your smart dont worry,smart and being right dont always go hand in hand,however i find arrogence and smart often do.
you seem intent on following me from topic to topic ,1st my very 1st topic ,then to another ,to this one and yet instead of posting things that are relevant to that topic you want to keep beating this dog until way after it has been long dead ,they have words for this must i go into detail with where you can go and what you can do with yourself ????or is this simply some mateing ritual of yours .having never gotten over bullying the girls you liked in grade school.......tsk tsk now stop pulling on my braids and denying it.

however i think and many many will agree that i told you many times and in great detail that i dont want to play your game.i have tried to even placate the fear in you that heaven forbid someone not heed your great apacity to seem as if you are doing somthing while getting absolutely nowhere.sorry but the suggestions i ignore mean that its a very dissappointing subject something i tried at and could find no way of improving my situation with or maybe find the comments rude or annoying.

i still cant remember who i ignored except you as i have talked with a dozen active members here in pms and 4 on yahoo/msn,i also find it very arrogant that you assume just because i didnt reply in forums ,in public on the thread to every comment that i ignored several people because the ones who wanted answers ,really wanted to be friendly ,nice,helpful and talk pm me if i overlooked something and i tried to answer them to the best of my ability ,several times in fact.must i screeny my inbox to get you to stfu?
i am sorry, oh powerful wizard but i do believe its time for you to realize that you just dont know everything no matter how smart you are.......kinda like the comments in my inbox saying "ignore aaron he is a @ss,please stay " i would quote thier name and rest of content but it would cause the person discomfort i am sure.they were trying to show compassion unlike some people.
as for this "Indeed, reaching out to the Japanese ex-pat community and making money via the internet, eBay or otherwise, all seems exactly the foolish oversimplification you portray, until one pursues the prospects in any greater salient detail, creatively confronting each petty obstacle in turn."read above again there is nothing to explore in ebay when 8 out of 10 auctions the buyers wont pay because a $3 item cost $25 to mail and so i end up in debt.also without a credit card you have no idea how hard it is to do business online,i cannot get a credit card part of being a gaijin out of work mama with a japanese husband with bad credit.i mean aaron FFS how much more detailed of every petty obstacle must i be for you to be satisfied that i have answered you as far as those 2 topics go they are useless if you find information otherwise i will gladly look it over but if you are only going to give me broad,vague and meaningless curealls with a smug attitude that i should be jumping arounnd screaming joy to the world aaron has delieverd me into the holy land ,its just not gonna happen hate to break your heart !so please stop expecting me to go into detail about it for your amusement,im sorry its not worth the free time to waste it that way!!! i would rather suck a spoonful of sugar while jumping on the bed with my youngest, seeing if lasagna really will stick to the cieling defying gravity, color the dogs hair pink ,and talk to transvestites today.
like i said before just because a person is lonely ,looking for help ,or even a friend ,it does not mean that they must take every bit of advise ,every suggestion and become best buddies with everyone who talks to them,alot of us are very picky who we become friends with and often silence is a polite way of saying "im not interested" ...see i tried the" if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all school of thought ".and you cant seem to take a hint so i tried your kind....... ,blunt ,brutal and force fed and yet you stil dont manage to comprehend for all the intelligence you seem to assert.now since you insist on hijacking topic after topic and makeing it about you being ignored (oh dear what HAS the world come to???) i guess i will try to tell you just a bit so that like yourself i can portray that we are haveing a civil conversaion amongst all the insults.

the japanese government is corrupt in many many ways, i hate to spoil it for all you anime fans out there but japan is very good at seeming to be one thing but under the surface is very different.since your so interested heres a lil tidbit on gaijins......as a gaijin wife of a japanese man i cannot have my name on his family register because i am gaijin (outsider) gaikokujin is forigner ,they prefer gaijin by the way (superiority complex ,you might fit in )my husband appears to have had kids spontaniously as i am not on the family register and yet my dog is.....i could not have my husbands name without giving up american citizenship at marriage and so i have my maiden name still. i have all legal right and ability to work and yet the economy is in recession ,so they say we must hire japanese 1st.when i tried to adopt a japanese child after going through court,paperwork,interviews ,house inspections,several years ago,i spent the next 7 years on the waiting list always assured that i was next, after takeing year off from calling the next time i called my socialworker had moved and my ame wasent even on the list, so very upset i had them find my paperwork and put my ame back a the top where it had een for so long.......only to never be contacted again. to be passed around at every phone call , as a gaijin wife i was never going to get a japanese baby legally , i could of course uy one at around $35,000 if i didnt care to wait through normal orphanges,.......upon seperation my husand moved his name and adress and was reregistered likewise so were my children......now my eldest who was 12 at the time became the head of the household on paperwork ,showed as the mother of her 9 yr old sister and newborn you can imagine the problems this caused at the elementary and jr high school...there are so many many things about the japanese government and what they dont do , i have yet to find something they would do for us gaijins.they wouldnt waste spit on me if i was on fire they would probably break out the marshmellows .

like i said many time in many replies to you the most unignored person on this forum.........
its exhausting answering you over and over and over and over and over and over and over and yet you still have yet to say anything new??? there is no end i have long long long been searching and it seems short of posting several books here detailing everything i have ever done or researched ,you still seem to have some idea that i have done nothing.as far as ex pat and ebay go i have done it not jus a little ALOT .i just dont feel like writing every listing. i do sell on BIDDERS the japanese ebay if you will ,as ebay japan is a flop. on bidders i sell my chinese crested puppies just recently at made $800 for one puppy have two more to sell,as pets are auctioned here.i have tutored i have had mine own bar ,i have worked all night long in the factory docks at half the pay loading trucks all night,i have worked daycare,dairy farm ,milking cows ,an all the other not fun things that go on in the dairy business......
if you ever truely believe you "still remain at my disposal" you need to brush up on what it really means to be able to make such a humble comment..........lets see how much more can i post on this page and still have you post that i do indeed ignore.........aaron climb down off that cross already ,somebody needs the wood!!!.......like i said before in the last topic(i can start posting all the links to all the times i have ignored(NOT) this one topic if you dont understand) btw no reply needed cause in this case two heads are not better than one when they knocking against each other,it just causes a hell of a headache.