Hi Poi,

I know what you mean. I remember when I found out my evil ex was cheating with this girl. I HATED her with a passion and him, too. My mom said, "It will never last..."

Guess who got married last year?!!!!

I'm married now and I love my husband. I never loved this ex at all. I was just very attached to him.

I agree with Elae, it's so hard to reassure people. Frankly the singles scene these days is pretty brutal. I'm thankful I don't have to be out there. It's tough because people can be so shallow and not even try to get to know you, it's all about appearances. Even if you are attractive, that doesn't lead to a very deep relationship, KWIM?

I don't know what to say when I see my siblings dating losers and guys who use them for sex. I dont' know what to tell my handsome but very insecure brother. He's tired of being single and he can't find a girl either. It's really hard!!!

Hugs,

LG

Not that i would know the first thing about dating or going from a relationship to being single, but i'm quite sure that, which Elaeagnus pointed out (with the people You talk to getting frustrated and uncomfortable since they don't really believe they can help You in any way), these people, like everyone else these days, simply have own problems big enough to not sit down and go through a plan to get You a girlfriend. I'm sure as hell not trying to say they simply don't give a damn about You, nor offend neither You nor them in any way, but maybe they simply believe it's best for everyone (and especially You) to talk to a professional about things like these when You, in their eyes, might seem so very down about it they have no idea how to help You.

I'm saying they either don't care enough to help You or they don't know enough to help You, and i think it's the second one. They obviously already tried to help You without any visible result from their point of view. What You expect from these people probably wouldn't seem like something "too much" at all in neither Your nor any other person in Your situation's ways, but what can words do about it?

I know You could use some simple cheering up and that words can do miracle work for that but somehow i think they've missed out that You actually want to talk about it, rather than trying to ignore it (and trying not to get You even more down and maybe pissed off) and talking about something else instead. Sometimes we get so caught up with what we just have to do that we don't notice how obcessed we become with it and thereby don't see it as such a big deal to simply bring up in a conversation sometimes. I believe people around You think of You and Your problem much more than You think they do, making them even more worried about this subject when You finally meet them even though You're not around.

What You wrote about how people don't like to be part of sad stories is true; for a close friends for example, to keep up a smile and still saying the same, positive stuff about something which ain't right for years, it takes a mental superman. Who the heck could take that?

I want You to understand that i am a 20 year old guy who've only been in one relationship, had one love and never been on neither a date nor "dumped" so be gentle with me if You find something of what i wrote outrageously wrong or cold-hearted.

And.. since i've only had this single relationship and never been on a date all my real advice for finding love is to do it how i did it; register on some dating website online, find someone that fits perfect, send a few e-mails and don't meet until You both know "this is it" and enjoy it while it lasts. You probably already knew this and might not think of it as anything special but "dating" online is the best way to do it (and the only way if You're shy ) since You get to know the person much more personally than in any other situation.

I lived in hell for five years before i even noticed there were dating websites (i'm way too shy to try and go to a pub or a disco something, so i've actually never done it), but when i found my first and current love we both couldn't believe it.

I truly wonder if all this seem like some fairy tale for You normal people (compared to me and my spouse, at least); waiting for true love and live in a depressive hell, finding it and blabla... Me and Madeleine went straight from being kids up to marriage and children and all that (we've already planned it all) so i guess You could call us old-fashioned.

I hope i did some good with all this cause i planned to grab something to eat now.

By the way, You got another thread in this board which haven't got any replies yet. I read through it all and were just about to reply to it myself when i noticed You posted another one. Uh... should i keep that stuff in here too or would You prefer i'd write it in that thread?

Whoah. Let's be nice. Everyone comes here for support. Many of the people here are REALLY harsh on themselves. They need support and kindness, not a slap in the face to wake them up. Life is already tough for all of us!

Nice? I just told him that i believe it's hard for the people around him to help him since they don't know what do do, in a long version. Then i gave him the only advice i can give and that is what i believe is the truth. I clearly stated several times that i didn't mean to write ANYTHING to offend anyone the slightest and that i am deeply sorry if i did so.

I'm not going to write some rubbish just to make someone a little happier for a short while, that's not me.

Although this may be a bit after the fact, this post will do me some good too if you don't read it

Man Poidog, I can relate to you! It's about 2 years for me now since my breakup and I found this website in one of my small bursts of loneliness. I'm a happy and outgoing person, but once in a while I indulge myself in a bit of depression because I can't really find anyone.

The relationship was fantastic, but I was sad to see it end (but for the better though. I got a pretty bad treatment, though I was too love sick to see any of it, whoops!). It was great towards the end, man were we infatuated with each other, but then she went to Europe for a few weeks. When she got back, the flame was gone. A few months passed before we really broke up (we were still attracted physically, that kept things working for a while). A week later she hooked up with my best friend! There wasn't any bad blood over this though, I personally think he did me a favor

The breakup left some emotional scarring that I think you're familiar with poigdog, though it may not match you completely. She told me I was a bit boring. I'd like to think I'm not, I've lived to have a few good tales (only one or two have to do with drinking escapades from college!), and I love to joke. I look at myself and I see a pretty interesting person, but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm so uninteresting that a girl would only take interest in me out of pity. Now I do remember, several times in my relationship she said she wants to break it off because she wants to see what other guys are like, and I always told her I'd stand by her because I've always believed if you really love something, you need to be able to let it go (but I crossed my fingers she'd stay, and stay she did until she really left >_< ). I'm just so convinced I'm not worthwhile love interest I've given up. I've been giving the opportunity to find someone a good push, I've done going out to starbucks, large malls, bookstores, conventions, conferences, and even payed a few bucks for online dating, but no dice. I'm just no good at it. I'm a decent looking guy, Italian with lean body, a wee bit of muscle, and an honest smile. I live with my parents though, can't afford to live on my own while I work towards my Ph. D, so I'm using that as a scapegoat to my whole predicament .

It sucks Poig, I've studied psychology and read books like Men are From Mars Women are from Venus in the hopes of when I get a gal I'll treat her right, but no dice. I've thrown in the towl and called my pursuit quits. I'm happy being single, but there are a few times I wish I could enjoy the sun with someone while sleeping on the beach sand. I feel a bit small since everyone in my office has a ring on their left hand and my closest friend is a step away from marriage. I'm only in my early twenties and I feel so behind .

I wish I could stop the moments when I feel so alone, since I really do live a happy and satisfied life. I don't really have anyone to talk to about my depressing moments, between us guys this kind of stuff doesn't fly and the others I'm not close enough to, so I'm thankful for the anonymous rapport this forum can give . You guys don't have to feel lonely all by yourself