aww.. EME.... should I spill some bbq on my shirt and do a little dance for you? lol

...I have no idea what mood that dance will get me into....some crazy mood swings maybe...I put a vase with dry flawers on my head and start jumping jacks or somth...

strawberry topped with heavy whipped cream ...would do it...lol

im posting some pen/vag jokes mostly cause I think they are the funniest....heres another 1


The Penis requests a Promotion and a Raise for the following
reasons:

* has to work hard;
* has to work at great depths;
* has to work upside down;
* has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work;
* has to work in a high humidity environment;
* has to work at high temperatures;
* does not get weekends and holidays off;
* does not get time off after extra hoursof work;
* has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional
sickness.
Request denied for the following reasons:

* does not work 8 hours in a row;
* does not answer immediately to all requests;
* after a short activity period, falls asleep at work;
* shows no fidelity to the workplace;
* retires too early;
* does not work at all unless pushed from behind;
* does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work;
* sometimes leaves work too early

^^
Thats a good one, just what i needed hehe.


Heres a joke i read today, i dunno if any of ya heard it before:

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"

The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"

The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"

Three presidents are on the Titanic when it starts to sink
Lincoln says women and children first,Bush says screw the women and children
and Clinton says do we have time?

A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.

He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."

So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.

When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren

...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

lol



A pastor was walking down the street when a lady asks him if he wants to by some Damn Ham the pastor says "mamm you really shouldn't talk like that" and the Lady says "but thats the name of the ham" and so he says "okay" and takes it home and tells his wife "honey fix this Damn Ham"and she says you really shouldn't talk like that and he shows her the label so she makes it for dinner. then at the table the pastor says "son pass the Damn Ham" and his son says "thats the spirit dad pass the Fucking potatoes."

thats definatly a good'n.

my last one before i retire to bed lol:

Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory?

The police are looking for some hardened criminals!

or better we get the rest of the tribe of Lonelylife Village dress up in feathers and dance around a village fire

Overheard in the street:

"My, oh my" exclaims this lady after having gazed at the child sitting in the stroller of her friend, "what an extraordinary baby! Blue eyes, but slant-eyed, curly hair, but blonde, and olive skin - I've never seen anything like it!"

"Well, yeah" says her friend, "actually, he's the result of a group sex evening... Honestly, we're just so happy he doesn't bark!"