Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her
minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a
DREADFUL fight!"

"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"

"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"

*RAFL*

ahhhh i do love a happy ending

One night, Joey's father is walking down the hall to go to bed, and he hears Joey saying his prayers before bedtime.

"God bless Mommy and Daddy and Grandma, goodbye Grandpa."

The father doesn't think anything of it, until the next day, when the Grandfather drops dead.

Two weeks later, he again hears Joey saying his prayers.

"God bless Mommy and Daddy, goodbye Grandma."

Sure enough, the next day, Grandma drops dead.

A week later, the father again hears Joey's prayers.

"God bless Mommy, goodbye Daddy."

Now the father is really worried. He goes to work the next day, but can't get anything done, because he's afraid he's going to drop dead at any moment. He stays at work late into the evening, afraid that if he goes home, he'll get in a car accident, or have a heart attack once he gets there. Finally, after midnight, he drives home, thinking "I made it, it's after midnight, I'm not going to die.

When he gets home, he apologizes to his wife, telling her he had a really bad day at work, and that he had to work late, and he's sorry for making her worry.

She looks at him and says, "You think you had a bad day? The mailman dropped dead on the doorstep today!"

u mean the dead body?
it must have been a happy ending for one of them

ya,

tehe

---------------------
one day there was this little girl and her mom in the park. And the little girl noticed some teenagers ****** on a park bench, she asked her mom: "momma, what are they doin?" Her mom said, well dear they are making cake.

The next day they were at the zoo. The little girl saw two monkeys *******, she asked her mom "Do monkeys make cake to?" her momma said, yes dear they do....

well the next morning the little girl asked her momma
"were you and daddy making cake last night?" her mom said, "yes dear, how did you know?"

The little girl said:

"I licked the icing off the couch this morning"

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,

"I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do
the trick he has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear,"
she asked.

The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that
he would climb the fucking walls if you came to visit us
again."

There was a guy on a nude beach sunbathing when all of a sudden a little girl came up to him and pointed at his thing and asked what it was he then responded that's my birdie she gets all happy and asks if she can play with it. He tells her no and covers it with his newspaper and tells her to go away. He soon falls asleep.
He wakes up in extreme pain and faints. When he wakes up again he is in the hospital and everyone is looking at him and shaking their heads he sees the little girl and asks her what happend. she tells him "Well when you went to sleep i decided to play with your birdie, but after a little while he spit at me so i got mad and broke his neck cracked his eggs and set his nest on fire!"

Roy walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk,
and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with
a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender politely informs Roy that it appears that he has
already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional
liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him?

Roy is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs
down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door.

A few minutes later, Roy stumbles in the SIDE door of the
"same" bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink.

The bartender comes over and, still politely but more firmly,
refuses service to him due to his inebriation, and again
offers to call a cab. He looks at the bartender for a moment
angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the
while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, Roy bursts in through the BACK door of
the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits
and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and
emphatically reminds him that he is clearly drunk, will be
served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be
called immediately.

Roy surprisingly looks at the bartender, and in hopeless
anguish, cries -
"MAAAN! How many bars do you work at!?!?!"

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.


Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote
the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read
only the odd numbered lines.