I just want to vent.  I don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking to, and I need to get some things off my chest.  I'm 25 and have never been in a serious relationship, ever.  Hell, not even anything that qualifies as a "relationship," period.  I've been on a few quasi-dates (more like friendly meals), and that's about it.  Never been kissed, much less gone any farther than that.  I'm also somewhat gender-confused... I dunno if it's a cause or a result of my romantic shyness.

It really makes me feel rotten when I think about it.  I've missed out on so much.  I wish I were just "normal."

Worst of all, it feels like there's little hope for the future.  I wouldn't call myself suicidal, but I'd be lying if I said the thought hasn't crossed my mind.  The main thing keeping me going is that I don't want to hurt my family.  They obviously love and respect me, although I've built up such a distance between me and other people that I don't feel comfortable talking to even them.

Ever see a movie that gets off to a really promising start, then kind of fizzles away, but you keep on watching anyway, not due to any real interest but more out of an idle curiosity to see if it can redeem itself?  That's the story of my life.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.  I've tried keeping a diary occasionally in the past, but somehow it seems a lot more cathartic when I know that someone, somewhere out there is reading.  Even if it's a thousand miles away.

im possibly a thousand (and more) miles away, literally from Malaysia, but i completely understand what you mean. 4 years younger maybe, but I've never dated even once in my life, so yeah, i get what you mean about the kiss and everything. Still, it feels good to talk to someone whenever you feel like there's no one in the world to share things with, and if you ever want to talk, even if it's something trivial, just PM me.

Hello Guest, I can both understand how you feel, I my self havent realy been with any one, I too am your age, and what infuriates me even more is going outside, couples are every where, holding hands, smilling, laughing, god...I have lost count the times I have wished I was that person, oh how sweet it must feel, to feel some one close to you, some one who wants to be with you, some one who cheers you up when you had a bad day, some one who cuddles up with you, you get my point, I wish there was an easy answer..

It's true...being a hopeless romantic who believes in old fashioned love, the mere sight of couples, a romantic movie, or even a lovesong triggers emotions and I end up feeling horrible.

exactly. im despressed like this too. never been in a realtionship, and sucide had crossed my mind also.. im in emtional pain like you. alot of it

My feelings exactly ^___^

This post was last modified: 03-22-2007 11:17 AM by Jeremi.

I'm only 18 and haven't any relationships (no quasi-dates, though) or even a kiss, but despite the age difference I bet we feel the same. I'm sure I'm going to be like 40 or die before I get to feel closeness.

Me too. I'm not gender-confused but I have strange mental problems and am reminded of my strangeness by the few friends I have daily. Even just walking around it hits me about how weird I am. No one is the same or all that normal, they always have one thing separating them from everyone else, but their differences aren't radical. It's impossible for me to fit in the same way everyone else can. Which is, obviously, why I'm lonely.

If you want to type more for us to read so that you will feel better please do so. It's been helping me so far and I like reading about other people's lives.

Hi,

Welcome to this place. I think many if not all of us can relate.

I'm 31, and I've had my share of romantic partners. None of them have really worked out too well for me! Trust me, guys, it's NOT like the movies.

It's sad to say, but I think that nothing lasts forever, even love. Perhaps especially NOT love! Romantic relationships can cause the greatest pain, rejection, sadness, and loneliness there is, because once you have made yourself vulnerable to another person, they have your heart on a platter. They can do what they want with it....and sometimes, people are cruel. Sometimes, they'll tap dance all over it!

My advice for a romantic relationship is to take it very slooooow. When you meet someone that you like (and it will happen!) you will be tempted to stick yourself to them like glue, since you feel good being around them. Trouble is, that will burn out the relationship ten times faster than if you fight your own instincts and use your brain rather than your heart (and your loins!).

hay your not on your own. i am 32 and not had a girlfriend seens i wos 18 and some times it really hurts. i to have mist out on things like family get to gett hers coz i didnt wont to be the only one that did not bring a partner. "makes you feel like a proper loser i know" and i have posted stuff over the net coz i do ergry that it feels better then putting it to some diary that nobody is going to read.

(I'm the original poster; I decided to register!)

Thanks for the responses, everyone.  It does help to know that there are other people in similar situations.

Mechanical, you brought up an interesting point about not being able to fit in.  I think that my loneliness isn't entirely due to not having a romantic partner (although that's certainly a big part of it).  But just as important is the social stigma that I feel for NEVER having had a real relationship at my age.  Virtually all of my friends (well, "acquaintances" is probably a more appropriate term) are married or in serious relationships, and I can't help but feel like an outcast because of that.

What's really frustrating is that I just don't know how to fix it.  I've never enjoyed parties, or the bar scene, or clubbing, or pretty much any social activity that normal people seem to like.  And even if I went to those events, I wouldn't know what to do.  People tell me that I'm poised and confident when I teach or make presentations, but the part of my brain responsible for intimate conversation obviously never got that memo.