this is stupid, this is not a reason to die
but now i can stop killing myself in my mind again and again each day
and i would no longer suffer from some happy dreams
over dosed alprazolam just now, i dont know, it might work and it might not, it never worked before anyway
was punching kicking the wall
feeling stupid, thrown away like yesterday's newspaper again.
my throat is dry, none is around but i have to keep my volume down
this s a student residence, i ve been away from home for 6 years
i make my friends feel good
but who i trusted ruined me again and again
every time i got hurt
i tried to accept and move on
and trusted more the next time
only opened myself to more idiotic stuff
i can't stop me from believing in people
believing in their scencere hope and wishes
but i can't do this anymore
hit my limit
i have nothing more to give
20 years wasted
love
why love has to turn into indifference and hatred
and this craziness
never gonna end

i read the suicide preventing stuff
you people are cool coming up with all these helps
i can withstand many things, including physical pain or whatever, i can go to work while being seriously sick
but i think this is it
and dont want a future
i might have a brain to succeed in career
i might be able to help somebody if i live on
but i dont wish for it
because i ve taken out too much of my soul this time
too much of it goes into this single person
who doesnt really know what's going on with me
or who doesnt care anyway
the shell has to crack

this HAS TO END DAMN IT...
i ve made this sound as mild as possible
i dont want nobody to make fun of me
i m not some attention seeking idiot
dont be a hypocrite giving me a 'hand' just to push me down later on
gonna explode
too much blood in me
lol
marching right into hell i guess
if there is one

was actually thinking about send them a msg before i do everything
since they can actually be on time carving out my organs for transplant
ahahaha
damn singapore government
suck me dry


leave your words to my mail alice_cryst@yahoo.com
flaming is welcomed too, since i dont give a fuck about nothing any more, i ll laugh at you while you re laughing at me.
all freaking problems solved
so relieved
no longer need to wait for some fucking permission to die.
i m a mistake of your freaky marriage mom and dad!
kids in your family all end up like this
i ll never escape this!
ahaha =D

just laugh harder and harder
remember this . laugh. ugly or not just laugh!

no more 'last words' just let me count the remaining hours.

Well at least you have a sense of umar That is a nice poem but I hope your not thinking of suicide. If you are then you need to call someone, any one. A self help line.

This should be in the Express yourself forum but guests are not permeated to post in there so am going to leave it hear just in case you wont to reply to it

OH and welcome Kahisa and I hope you stick around, You well see there is a lot that feel like you. And if you go hear You well see moor poetry and stuff

This post was last modified: 10-26-2007 07:18 PM by Bluey.

move it wherever you want, 50 cuts on my left wrist i m yet to die damn it...

wow. I feel the exact same way. so numb that nothing can affect me at all.

If you have hurt your self you do realy need to phone are call for help.

What are they gonna do? Make u feel better for like 2 minutes? Then what happens after that?

If he/she has lost a lot of blood it could be serous. Also the cuts can get infected

This post was last modified: 10-27-2007 03:07 AM by Bluey.

Making you feel better for that 2 minutes could be the turning point for the better in life. But also for the worse. Either way, you never know what's in store for you in the future, unless you step up for it and keep going.

Well said mink

Please, my friends.

Suicide is a lie.

You have to deal with this world while you're alive, but you'll have to deal with the next world when you die.

Ever read Shakespeare's Hamlet...TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

That is the question!

What dreams may come....

That is the question!

Life IS worth living. Life CAN be easy and fun. If you are in a bad situation, there is ALWAYS a solution. ALL problems have solutions. Sometimes when you are deeply in pain you can't see the way out, and you feel trapped.

You may need a counselor to help you find your way out of the maze. If you can't afford a counselor, go to a local church or synagogue. Don't be ashamed. These people (clergy) their JOB is to HELP THE WORLD and to help people who are suffering. They will either help you find a counselor or you can just come and see them in their office and tell them what is on your mind.

Please, life can be MUCH BETTER if you just refuse to give up!