Everything is very simple. But I will start from the beginning of my path of understanding.
I have a lot of people (most of them) in my office that are smokers. I was mad at all smokers but these are realy good people and they are way better then I am. A few days ago I found a book. No. I was on the site and there was theme about smoking, good side, bad side and so on. Almost everyone past smokers on that site offered to read the book of Allen Karr "Easy way to stop smoking". They said that this book helped them and to their friends and family to stop smoking and they feel a lot better now when they are non-smokers. So I wanted to help them. And I ask one girl in my office if she like to read, well she answered that don't like it. I thought that my idea will barried in my head cuz well who the hell I am to advise something to her, I can't even deal with my own problems. And then something hit me hard. I thought: "Hey, I like this girl and I can try to invite her somewhere but I need to do it more intersting". My imagination was huge like never before. You know, real things but something that noone will expect from me or someone ever saw or heard of. But then I think again and HEY i didn't even know how she thinks about me. And I decided to make some original but very simple move. And I remembered the movie with Bruce Willis and Michel Pfiefer. And what is more important the way he invited her to be his girlfriend. Well, I did it. The note "Will you date with me ? Yes or No" was ready. The hardest thing was give it to her. But i didn't forget about my "stop smoking" mission. So I decided to give her this note. If she would tell "yes" then it would be easier to make her non-smoker. Well it was yesterday, I didn't do this. The day was pretty lazy. Almost NO WORKING DAY. And she was seating with her friends and reading some girly magazine and talking. I thought that I will tell her today when the day will start and....well I didn't. I was afraid, no I am afraid. I'm a coward. I just couldn't do it. I am not good story-teller so..... When I read the book of Allen I was impressed. This guy wrote everything correct and what is more important - things that I watch in "Secret" movie and before this movie I discovered it by myself but I wasn't using it. Whatever, when I complete reading the book I became more friendly. But I still have no guts to stay in front of her and telling her about my feelings and "stop smoking" stuff. That means both I am coward and I realy don't love her just like. But thoughts about the saviour of the smokers was and is still in my head. I try to give the book to the other girl but she was to shiny and sweet and I don't want her to have bad feelings about me. All my co-workers notice me when help needed and I understand them fully. And if I would gave her that book she (everyone) won't even smile to me when ask for something. And so this means that i'm still afraid and I don't care of their health at all. I'll try later today. To give someone a book and to give a love note or confession are two different things, right ? I will know the truth when the time will come.

BUT !!!!!!!!

What is the point of my little(cut) story? If someone watched "Donny Darko" you must remember the guy that talked about fear and that this is the key to all our problems. I agry with him now, in a specific way. In most of cases fear is the root of all my problems. We must think positive every day, we can't blame anyone even ourselves, can't judge and so on. This is very hard. I can't even say something funny in terms of black humor. Sarcasm was something that helped me to live more easy. And now I can't do it. Well I try to do and think only positive but can't do it for now, even in this message. So...

GOOD LUCK to EVERYONE, DON'T WORRY - BE HAPPY.

I don't for a minute think its possible to be positive all of the time. You would not be human if you could.

If you wont to ask this girl out then you are going to be nervous about that. I would be. I think most ppl would be, Frightened of making them self look like a fool. But hay! if you don't ask you well never know. A note is a good way. If it was me I would just say something casual like when you get to the end of the day say something like, "You know what I could murder a drink, You fancy going for one be for we go home?" That way if she says no, its moor of a you just wonted someone to go for a drink with. Not a date. If she likes you she well go or say that she can not but make it another time.

The smoking thing that your doing confused me a little. I am a ex smoker (7 - 8 a day) But in my experience ppl well only stop when they wont to and not cos they read some book. I stopped cos I was doing to much coughing with it. I have felt better since I stopped as well. All though I well admit I still miss that first one in a morning with a coffee. I have been stopped for 2 years and 7 months And yes I am proud of myself cos I tried to stop many times be for I was able to. its not an easy thing.

This post was last modified: 08-15-2008 07:55 PM by Bluey.

I agree that it seems impossible to be always positive. All you need is try to be more positive than depressive. This is hard but it can be realize.

About the girl....Actually I'm pretty sure that she would say NO. She doesn't like me. And I think she already has a boyfriend. And I'm sure that he is a lot better than me. I know I am disgusting and I am a coward as well. I would say to the other guy with such problem that he need to tell her what he feels but I can't follow my own advise. I wouldn't advise things that I can't deal with by myself, anymore. Atleast I'll try. You know...in all my life if I really try I can deal almost with everything. And I did but always happened something that put me on my knees. Well and there were one thing that I couldn't deal ever - relationships. Well whatever, it is endless topic for me, so I will stop.

Smoking....I don't want to tell them that they need to stop it, I will just suggest that is all. Ofcourse they must want to quite but reading that book may turn them to the right path, atleast think of it. There are a lot of people that smokes but they actually good, they better then me. I want them to live freely from their nikotine cuz they are too good, people like them must live a lot longer.
Well there is more. This book isn't just about nikotine.

Hello Sunweb,
I have learned there is no faster way to a room full of workers than through thier stomaches...lol Have you thought about buying a dozen doughnuts? As far as the smoke book, it's a noble idea but, as cousin Bluey said, they need to want to quit. You might try leaving the book around so they can pick it up on their own. I work in health care and boy some people sure get offended when you mention the idea of not smoking...lol

Remember: Feed them and they will come

This post was last modified: 08-16-2008 12:42 AM by Naleena.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever....

plan on dating someone you would like to change. Why? Because even though you may see her smoking as a bad habit, it's part of her.

In fact, I wouldn't try to convert any of the smokers in your place of work... they WILL resent it. I know you've their best interests at heart, but trust me, they won't see it like that. If someone mentions they want to quit, then by all means bring up the book.

This post was last modified: 08-16-2008 02:57 AM by Steel.

Naleena
Hahaha ))))) Well, no thanks. I won't bye doughnuts

Naleena, Steel
I didn't. I just couldn't. But I left the book on the table and file on our computer net where everyone see it. I watch when the file was last opened and it is TODAY. That's the start I tell you.

And Steel...about changing someone you like. That is normal. And the smoking isn't the part of her....well..it isn't the part of anyone else.