pretty much agreeing with it. i mean it's like... my dad would tell me to go fix myself if i show my sadness or stuff, and some friends would actually frankly mercilessly tell me i am damn weak... one or two is enough to discourage me from telling people what i feel, i dont want to lose anyone anymore.

I too hide my feelings and do it with some skill...
Sometimes I think I should be an actor... I've had more than enough practice :/
Well at least it's good to have a place like this where we can come to open up some and share, or maybe find other Lonely Lifers that we can confide in... perhaps as mentioned in other threads the communication is lacking dimension... but somewhere dimensionally challenged to vent, if only in words, is better than nowhere at all to vent, seek council, or find another with understanding.

This post was last modified: 11-24-2007 03:09 AM by Lost in the Oilfield.

It is sad. And you're absolutely right. We are creating a society of socially inept human beings. Face-to-face contact is not at all what it once was. There is still communication-- we may "communicate" a great deal more than what people used to. But the quality of that communication...

For one thing, most of what we communicate is actually through body language. People IM, email, or chat on the phone-- and they are missing some of the most important elements of interaction. I see it all the time. Where I work, people come through the lines-- and I'm trying to check them out, but they're on the phone. They're avoiding the face-to-face interactions that SHOULD be a part of life. Yes, they are talking to someone-- but you need to interact in other ways, too.

More and more, people are developing shallow relationships. Talk is just talk. The average social network of an individual is shrinking. People don't have the bonds necessary to truly talk with other individuals. We're losing the necessary skills to form meaningful connections.

I actually feel that most people are lonely. When I'm down, I do feel sorry for myself. I think, oh, those people are laughing and having fun, while I have no one. But when I think about it, I don't really believe it. They're lonely, too. And I can feel sad, but at least I know where I stand. Most of these people are in a desperate race to hide from those feelings. They'll do anything to cover them up.

And, yeah. We're all pretty good at hiding things. It's a human thing. We don't tend to want to let things like this show. It is a weakness, as well as something we are taught as being socially unacceptable. Because it's just rude to actually let people know you're feeling sad, right?

But we avoid it. And so most people seem happy and content, and often those people seem to have a lot of friends.

It's not real.

I'll probably continue to use my ex-boyfriend as an example, until I'm over him a bit more. But, here goes my second or third of the night:

He tries to act like he's confident. He tries to act happy and laid-back. He has a lot of "friends."

He's insecure. He's depressed, at least some of the time. He has acquaintances, but hardly any actual friends.

When I first met him, I didn't realize any of this. Because he didn't come across that way. And because, I think, he denies it even to himself. Which probably makes it all worse.

That's the thing. Humans are also good at denial. That's why when people feel down, they can really feel down. Because they're hiding a lot from themselves, and when something triggers sadness/depression, it can let free a lot of the other things they've been hiding.

Yes. It really is sad.

And I need to stop rambling. And go to bed. Oh my words, it's five in the morning! Probably not a good thing... Sleep... xD

Condensed: Most people are actually sad or lonely. They're just hiding it. We won't know it with all of them. But today's world is making it so that this is becoming more common. Relationships that exist are shallow. People are unfulfilled.

The end!

- Interlude

Wow, I swear, this is creepy Interlude, but you keep typing things that I think about all the time, but never actually bother to write about or talk about. It's all true. No one has their shit together, no one. Everyone just covers up their insecurities with their fake facade, their illusion. Even the ones that seem invincible and upbeat all the time, even they cry themselves to sleep at night. Everyone from the laid back, egotistical jock to the emo kid that slashes himself every night and writes 8 pages of cheesy poorly written "poetry" (garbage) every night on his blog. Everyone has their weakness, and their flaws, but then again, I sincerely believe EVERY person has something to offer, something special, genuine and good.

(Yeah I'm very opinionated)

In this world there are 'sharks' and 'softies'....sharks attack... and go for blood by hurting the sofites. Softies (like the smaller fish in the sea) have to hide..or else the sharks will destroy them. This forum is made up of almost 100% softies. People who clamp down protected in their little shell against the world of big..nasty sharks. Problem is..because of their protective shells..the little softy fish are separated from other little softy fish. Because the big ugly sharks..though fierce..are very difficult to recognize until they bite!! Consider this forum a little undersea alcove of softies...we peek out to find that there's more of us here than sharks. So we feel somewhat safer here..to say and be who we really are..little fish. Except when a troll finds us..and trolls are definitely sharks.

I know I have a unusual way of seeing things...strong imagination I guess. But that's pretty much how I think of the world. Ruthless hurting/killing machines without conscience..the sharks.
And sensitive..inquisitive kindhearted little fish that get eaten.
Oh yeah...little fish have teeth too..and sometimes they bite the sharks..but often than not..they still come away from the fight more
injured than the big awful shark.
But that's why we find safety in numbers..being here.

Great analogy Arianna!

I'm a dolphin... I swim, eat, play... and if a shark comes around I dart away.

http://www.cnn.com/EARTH/9710/08/whale.vs.shark/

I'm a dolphin too LITO..except I am the type of dolphin that meets the sharks head on when they try to hurt the softy fishes. You know dolphins are natural enemy to sharks? Dolphins swim in packs and destroy sharks..yep..that's me. I am more of a guardian dolphin.
I don't look for fights..but I don't back down from one.. if I am not the one at fault.

great analogy for real.. i'm really glad that i have thsi forum to melt away into sometimes. And you are right.. I'm a softy. It's like I wish I was stronger; and I know that I need to be; but I'm not sure how to do that :/

how do the sharks get to be sharks.. that's my question? will i ever become a shark?

You have to live your life totally involved with yourself..conceited..heartless..without feeling for anyone else..except for your own gain. That's a shark jales..do you really think you want to be one? Better to be a softie fish that grows into a dolphin..not a shark jales. Sharks take pleasure in hurting others..because deep inside they hurt themselves. Or.. deep inside they feel inferior..like the world owes them .. and them alone. And all they do is take and never give. No...jales..I don't think you're cut out for that.

by dart away I mean I don't hang out with sharks... but if it comes to unavoidable or necessary confrontation, I tend to use my fists, not my wit. Sharks tend to be bullies, and most times when it goes beyond words to physical, they get scared and back out rather than get beat up... but I don't run into many people that are stupid enough to push me that far.