ive always moved around. moved to US 6 years ago. never had friends that i known for mroe than years. the close friends i have in US always move away to somewhere far away. and i dont really have a language problem anymore i hang with regular americans and if u met me u prob wont even kno im a fob. but thats beside the point. i get so lonely because i never had friends that ive known for more than 5 years. the close friends in US i have always move away... and my friends in my country are basically non existent.i got real sad when i saw pictures of them online hanging out and shit and it hurts me so bad they have close to no memory of me. and its impossible to find them. and over here in the US, i do have a lot of friends, i dont have problem communicating with people. but i dont have friends that really know me. i mean some peeps i kno more than 4 years but whenever they are hanging out with their friends im always the one tahts left out. all the time. its like no matter where i go im always the one thats left out of conversation cuz i cannot relate to anyone since i dont kno them that well and i didnt grow up here. and this girl i really loved ended up hooking up with all my friends just to prove how dead i was to her, how i was never really anything to her. and friends that i have now are bullshit. always talking about hanging out, but never really do. or they just want me to buy weed from them or benefit them somehow. most of the time im alone by myself. being used by people all the time. my roomates (who hooked up and fucked a lot) took my 500$ for rent and used it on shit. now im just really bitter at life. whenever people around me are talking about love/sex stuff it makes me feel etremely sad, also the left out feeling. and it sounds fuckin bitter to myself too but i hate it when people hook up around me jsut because i never could...fuck i just want a real friend for once....this is my frist post i hope people are chill on here.

This post was last modified: 05-05-2007 07:12 PM by SighX99.

Where are you from originally? You say you're a fob, but I don't know what that means.

im from taiwan. F.O.B. means fresh off boat. people use that term to make fun of people who cant speak good english. it really pisses me off how a human being can be soo cruel to another with no reason at all. then vtech happens.

Listen we've all lost at the love game, as a matter of fact how do you ever expect to win if you don't continue playing?
If you're dead to her she sure as hell wasn't the right one for you, save your affection for someone who deserves it and trust me when the one comes along you'll know, just gotta keep trying remember outta 10 girls one can ask out an average of 3 will say yes, that's how it is. Anyways please don't dwell on love, it's something that can break you down to a wreck no matter who you are if you don't learn to let go. Welcome to what every man will go through atleast once in his life, most just prefer to "forget" it by overshadowing it with something else, don't be ashamed.

As for all your so called friends who seem to be disrespecting and forgetting you, if you can truly tell yourself without a doubt in your heart that you've done nothing to them with bad intention and all you're getting is pure shit in return for your kindness, it hurts but they're probably not your true friends.

Look, you live your life for yourself, not for your friends in taiwan, not for your friends here, but for yourself. Just giving and not taking is just as bad as taking and not giving that's called a balance and by breaking this balance you have to sacrifice something in return, in this case you're sacrificing your happiness. You're not gonna get over your loneliness by trying to drown it out by just hanging with people who disrespect you, you're digging a bigger hole for yourself.

Everyone will get dissed behind peoples back etc etc shit that's life you just gotta stand back up if something hurts you like that and move on, just try and talk to new people, get into an actual hobby so you can meet new people if you don't know where to start. It's easier to strike bigger bonds with people who you share a passion with, something to do and talk about that's all you're really missing.

A broken heart can be mended, a hurt soul can be healed, a lost friendship can be found again but your hope....Your hope is what keeps you alive and it's the only thing that can get you out of this state you're in. It'll be good to you if you're good to it.

lol i know! dont you just hate knowing so many of your friends or people you know have like a boyfriend or girlfriend but you never do, haha been there...well still am. haha. any way ya i moved from the philapines when i was 6, grew up in california, went to boot camp in texas, went to school in missisipi, then now im stationed in turkey until next year when i get to go to germany. so i totally know what moving around a lot is like, i mean even if you do make good friends you or they just end up leaving, sigh geeez, well any way i hope you'll meet a couple close friends soon, i mean im sure its bound to happen. soo whats your family situation, are you in good terms with your parents? i mean not for me but some people are like ridiculously close to their families

i wish i was cool with my family. we are pretty close, but they are very judgemental. and we dont really hav a good relationship. since im like the fucked up kid in the family. everyone else is doing good except me. do you ever feel like you cannot connect with people at all no matter what? I always feel like an outsider. im always left out of conversation, almost everytime. in fact its happened so often that i think its a curse. i just have a problem connecting with people. and ive lost most of my faith in people in general. theres waaay more selfish people in america. most people dont realize how selfish they really are. i think theres a common quality that we all share in this forum. i dont kno what, but theres def something there that we (everyone on this forum) all have. fuck i hate being lonely i wish i can have someone to talk to 24/7 someone that trusts me, someone that'll pick me up from jail at 4 in the morning.....because i'll fuckin do all that shit for peeps. and karma never smile at me...i guess i gotta go smoke some weed to stop thinking how shitty my life turned out