YOu stupid bi**!

who do you think you are? How dare you even insult my intelligence? You cheated and lied to me, the only person who defended and took care of you.

I was mad but not I'm super glad that I'm not with you and your lame ass family.

What goes around comes around 10 times I promise you that. God punish those who do not punish themselves.

You will never find anyone even close to me, all your dreams will never come true. That is already happened since that you were complaining and being jealous of your own brother.

You are a liar not only to others but to your self and you can't even see that! How pathetic!

BTW you're a fat pig!

Hi! Wrote:

Read, confirmed, subscribed. This is exactly what I'd write to the woman who cheated and lied to me.

Brother-

It upsets me that you won't give me your new phone number. It's even worse that you've apparently given it to the rest of our family but made them promise not to give it to me. Am I that much of a burden? We used to only talk 2-3 a year anyway; it's not like I was overloading you with calls. I just want to be able to wish you happy birthday or call you if there's some sort of emergency. Oh well. I hope you're enjoying your new place and that you're all settled in.

Dear Mom,

Why did you do that? Why did you go and get pregnant, when you had been plotting a divorce? Why did you forever bind yourself to him and his family? Why did you choose him of all people? Why did you have to do this now, right before my senior year? Why did you seem surprised when I didn't react with pleasant happiness and cheer?

Why did you even have to get pregnant with me when you were only 15...?

-Josh

Dear stranger, I don't want to know you anymore, all is forgotton. Thankfully....i've moved on.
cheers

Dear Mom,

Another Mother's Day is here. Another one for me to feel how lost I feel without you. I past the blame game a long time ago. Yes I get angry but blaming and dwelling on what's passed does nothing. Just because I don't talk about you doesn't mean that I don't think about. I'm going to try to only remember the good times I had with you. There were a lot. They say to let go of the past and face the future. I tried to so many times, but the past keeps coming back to haunt me. How can I deal with it? I'm still so angry at you. If I was just a little older things may have been different. I didn't know what to do for you. I didn't know how to save you. You were the parent, not me. How could I be expected to take care of you and everyone when I was a child myself? If I feel the pain sometimes it helps. I keep telling myself that I'm not blaming you. I'm not. I just have a lot of bad memories. The way you looked in that casket still haunts my mind. Just because I didn't cry didn't mean I didn't miss you. You should be here. I shouldn't be an orphan. You knew how much we needed you and how much I needed you. Why? Why? Why?

C

Stranger in the night,
    please stop calling me, whoever you are. i have 2 questions......
1)why do you only call in the middle of the night, when i'm awake. i never have any missed calls in the morning, so how do you know I'm awake?
2)why don't you say anything when i pick up the phone? why do you whisper nonsense and make grunt noises but not say a word? i don't understand.
Your phone calls are terrifying me & pissing me off. I have a good idea of who you are, but i'm not sure. please just leave me alone. please.

Dear God,

I know your reading this, hell, you read it as i was writing it in my mind. well since you already know what i'm going to say why don't you tell me something, What the hell is your problem?? what have I ever done to you? i've lived the best life I knew how and I always have. No i don't get out to church as often as I should but I would think you could understand that. between work, family and um sleep! you should be able to understand. Sure you gave me a lot of intelligence, thanks for that, it makes my failures that much more poignant. Even after 15 years I still here about how I should have gone to medical school instead of the army. intellect is great but the crappy luck you sent me along with it just outweighs it everytime.

sure, I wanted to marry monica all those years ago, she was young, beautiful and most importantly, pregnant with my baby. no other woman i had slept with over all those years got pregnant, why her? why let me live 9 years with a woman who would only wind up making me feel like death. 2 beautiful kids i got out of the deal, it makes a lot of the hurt worth it. but after being cheated on 3 times it makes it hard to trust anyone else again. now after being divorced for 3 years we can talk to each other as friends. that's good i guess, except that now you god get to shove it in my face how happy she is with her new fiance, new baby, new life. while I get fired twice, beg and borrow money from my parents (at 33) in order to save my home and now just yesterday i find out that I still may have to file bankruptcy in order to save it from a foreclosure. yea i know, money is only worth anything in this life, not the after life but guess what....i'm still in this life! they offered to put my past due payments at the end of the loan, you could have let them approve me for that, GOD what a difference that would have made in my life. but oh no! you'd rather have them call me and tell me that i have to pay them 11,000 dollars in 4 weeks, 4 weeks! if i couldn't pay 2,500 on time every month how the hell do i get 11 grand in 4 weeks.. and i was just starting to feel safe again. i broke up with the g/f of 2 years because i knew she wasn't for me. i did the right thing and let her go so she could find what she was really looking for and things with my business i just started had FINALLY started to go well. but just like every other time I start to feel like things are getting better you shove a celestial foot up my ass.

If it wasn't for my kids god, i'd find a way to die and come up there and give you a taste of your own medicine. but they need me, for them i swallowed my anger for my ex, for them i'll file bankruptcy again so that at least on the weekends they can have a stable home to come to, for them i'll keep the women they don't like out of my life, for them i'll keep getting up when you kick my ass and spit in my face, for them i'll keep going to my ex's house and stand in front of her, the fiance and the brand new baby and hold back the tears.

because they need me

i think i've pretty much given up on you though........

babe
I'm tired, frustrated,& i feel like a loser. life really hurts sometimes. I'm not where i want to be and I'm not doing what i want to do. it's been 4 years now and i haven't enrolled in college. I worry about everyone else during the important part of the day, and worry about myself at night. Everyone keeps telling me part of being an adult is taking care of your own responsibilities..i.e.doctor, dentist, car insurance, health insurance, loans, moving, it goes on and on. It feels like so much on my shoulders with work and upkeep of my apartment on top of all that other stuff. I feel like i can't handle it sometimes. I get really depressed. I'm just really afraid and worried all the time. I feel like I repel people and drive them away. all the friends i've ever had were 'fair-weather' at best. I'm just really scared i'll lose you too. Everybody has something or does something that other people recognize them by...for instance " the girl with the big chin & a mole on her lip...." or "the guy with the acscent that talks really loud...." most people don't know what theirs' is. I know i don't. I really wish i did though. maybe that would help me to start making friends......ya know if i could work on my character flaws. you're sleeping right now so can't wake you up to tell you this stuff. hey it's only important to me anyway. i love u babe more than everything. I'm yours....
Love,
ME!

to whom it may concern

I am a bit confused by it all, I realise I am menopausal and my emotions are all over the place, but how can I be sure that you love me? that you are not just here for an easy life? you get wages every week, you occasionally give me £20 or £40 here and there, but I am paying for it all. This is bollocks, now I have typed it, it's fucking obvious, but are you taking me for a mug or am I offering myself as an easy touch? tough call that one.

I am happy for you to do anything that pleases you, when do I get my turn at doing what pleases me........

enough said

this is not what I was expecting to type

but life without you ............

this is hard

too hard

may have to come back to this another day ..... so not what I thought ... I thought a little rant would clear my head but this is deeper than I knew.....

weird ... how could I not know?

gotta go