Im fed up of being so shy =[ Theres just one person i talk to and thats it, litreally. I would love to make new friends but i hard it hard to communicate with people i dont know, which is basically everyone. Ive started working on it- smiling at random people for example but even this is hard for me and somedays i just want to give up and crawl inside myself =[
Anyone got any advice? I would love to hear it =]]]
Thanks alot,
InVein

I used to talk to one person online, he is my best friend. But now he is too busy with work, uni and his girlfriend, so we talk like once a week at most... I never had anyone I could talk to (just for the fun of chatting) in real life. I only have short, formal conversations with other people, and this happens very rarely. I don't know anything about the world of interpersonal relationships, where someone talks to you not because they have to, but because they like to.

This post was last modified: 10-22-2007 03:24 AM by mimizu.

Well at least once a week is better than nothing, then again..
I hate it when people you love pull away from you, it hurts so bad. =[
Sometimes i think it would be better not to have known them at all beacuse then it would hurt less.

I know exactly how you feel. I find it very uncomfortable to talk to anyone I don't know. And I tried that smiling thing once but it makes my face twitch if I try to smile and I don't mean it lol... probably a side effect of never smiling I guess...
My only advice (if you can call it that) is to try counselling (group maybe) or pills. Or both. I'm trying those right now but I won't expect any meaningful results for a few months at least.

Hi InVein, I know what you mean. I am still shy but used to be a lot more so. It's hard for me to talk to people I don't know. I think you have to work your way up to it. Like you said you already started smiling at random people. After that try asking a total stranger for the time. Do that a few times. Once you feel comfortable enough to just say one sentence, than try making a simple comment to a total stranger next time, like about the weather or something. There are some who think you just have to immerse yourself in social situations, but believe me for someone who is shy that will do more hard than good. I think once you find a common interest with someone it is easier to talk to them.

I don't know about you but for me writing has always been easier than talking. So over the years I found a lot of online penpals to write to. This way I could delete or change things before sending the email. Then I'd work my way up to IM conversations. There are no fast solutions, you just have to work your way up. Despite the desire to crawl inside yourself, you can not give up.

I tried that before. Talking to random strangers. After a couple of totally horrible experience (blatant hostility) I became even more closed up than I have been before.

This post was last modified: 10-22-2007 07:48 AM by mimizu.

That's true... I had a few horrible experience with online girlfriends... sometimes I actually feel happy because I am lonely, because when I am exposed to the human world (which happens rarely), my head spins from all the snakiness. All those jabs, hints, games. I notice them, even though I don't say anything. It makes me happy that I don't have to deal with that... But it's still.. lonely.

Sorry that hasn't gone well for you, mimizu

I smile at random people too lol and well it didn't go well
In fact, strangers would stare at me if i smile (as if i was crazy), even if i'm just smiling to myself. Lol..they seem to have a problem with smiley people *shrugs* but it always feels good to smile at someone wishing that it'd make them feel good in a way. It's even better when they smile back. They make you feel good.
I got no better advice now. So, well, keep on smiling, though i know sometimes it's hard to do so during the down times. It's good enough when things are rough and you're still able to smile.
Hope things will be better for you soon

=] Its nice to know other people feel the same as me. Thanks for all the advice, I dont think drugs are a good solution though- are there drugs to make you more outgoing? If there are, mabye that is a good idea! I havnt had any bad expericences with the smiling thing yet, but its early days. Asking people for the time also sounds goo, i may try that next time i venture outside..