Only love I've ever felt was from family, and even then only my mother really, and maybe my sister...

I guess it's just funny, looking back on everything, how a person can be the center of your universe and... later... just... hardly even enter into your thoughts. Sad, really. Especially because I'm a romantic at-heart and I really want to believe that true love is out there.

Ah, another "hopeless romantic" like myself. It really is funny/crazy the way things go. You're always looking for that deeper connection and sometimes you just end up disappointed. I still hold on stubbornly to the romantic ideas, though, so who knows.

Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

That's true, though sometimes I just wish that the loss had been through death, so that the memory would have remained pure and untarnished :/

I love my suffering without a love in my life... somehow that pain is, and has always been, a constant. So to be able to close my eyes and to feel it there in my heart... that sweet aching sorrow... lets me know that I am alive, that I have loved, and that perhaps I will love again some day... lets me know all is well because all is as it should be.

I love my family eternally and without condition.

I am a hopeless romantic... not because I am without hope for love, or because I believe that there is such a thing as true love, but because perhaps love holds no hope for me.

This post was last modified: 11-30-2007 09:28 PM by Lost in the Oilfield.

True Love is...


When you match someone on all four points.

1. Spiritually
2. Physically
3. Emotionally
4. Mentally

And ..that's like shooting fish in a barrel..

It can happen..

but it's extremely rare.

love is a state of mind.

so it's different 4 different ppl. but once you believe that you are in love you are!

it's one of the BEST feelings in this world. You know that movie Spanglish ..the little girl says 'not right now i need some space' to her mother.
The mother replys 'there is never a space between us'

i want that love :0)

Right on!

When you're too alike like that it tends to get a little boring though. There has to be differences.

Matching doesn't necessarily mean you're the same. Like faded jeans and an old t-shirt. They match but for shit they aren't the same. Or even just two shoes in a pair. They match, they belong together, but one's a leftie and the other's a righty. That's pretty different. They compliment eachother. That's how I'd interpret what Arianna said. Of course, I don't think a match as perfect as a pair of shoes can happen with people. You might think you're in love and that you're perfect together but always something comes along to screw it all up. That's what makes us human, nothing we do or make can ever be perfect. Only a perfect mess. That's what I think. But of course, feel free to disagree.

I feel somewhat similar. Like, you can't just FALL in love. That kind of love makes no sense to me, and I don't believe in it. But I do think that some form of love exists. And it can be a very powerful force.

To me, love is defined by time, effort, and commitment. The willingness to work through problems-- to stick with each other, through the good and the bad. It's something that both people have to feel, then, because it takes two to be able to do this.

Of course, it's good to have a spark. Finding the other person attractive is a good thing. But, really, I think way too many people look at love as passion or desire. Those feelings you have when you're first getting to know someone-- it feels great, but that isn't love. But people see the movies and read the books, and this is what love is now being portrayed as. A sweeping, magical, passionate feeling. Well, most of those media outlets only show the beginning stages. It's silly to show that and pass it off as true love. And now it seems like people EXPECT that. They think that those things have to be there, for the relationship to be working and for them to still be "in love." Once those things fade, and they almost always will, they think that there is something wrong. And they give up.

I really think that this unrealistic image of love is what plays a huge part in the high divorce rate and overall dissatisfaction with romantic life many people seem to have. Love is what comes after the passion. Hopefully, you'll still keep a spark-- passion can be rekindled, of course. But the truth is, throughout a relationship, it WILL wan. That's when other things become important-- shared interests, beliefs, morals, etc. Compatibility. Just that special bond that exists beyond the surface attraction.

If that makes any sense. Love is something that can be difficult to articulate. The thing is, I think it's different for everyone. This is just the way I view love. It is my attempt at creating a realistic image of love. I've never really seen anyone that follows the "in love" model, so this is what I've come up with, in order to make sense of something that I want to believe exists, even though I'm not sure of it.

So. Maybe one day I WILL "fall in love." I'll still think that that is just the beginning-- you can only fall so far, before you land. I suppose it's okay to start off by falling, as long as you realize that that isn't the only part of it. You have to become grounded and put in the effort.

But, we'll see. It's easy to say things like this, and to criticize something, when you've never actually experienced it yourself.

So, yeah. I suppose what all this is saying, is that I view love as more of an action. Feelings are involved, yes-- but there is a lot more to it than that.

Of course, I really wouldn't mind being swept away and having my definitions shaken up a bit. I just don't think it would be very realistic.

Thanks. You articulated what I couldn't.