I really feel for you. I've been in that space, as I'm sure many here have. It seems like you don't want to accept the positive messages and options that people are trying to give you. I've been there, too. I know that sometimes you're (and I mean in general) just so angry at anything and...
Well, I guess I am here for the same reasons as everyone else. I live a very isolated life and I wish it wasn't that way. It seems like the things in life that most take for granted, a family, friends, etc. elude me. So here I am.