I know for me, my negative mindset is the result of being a sensitive person treated incomprehensibly cruelly by peers for a solid decade combined with universal expectations of excellence that I can barely keep up with. Because I am sensitive, negative comments hurt more than they otherwise...
Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetheart. :( (Forgive me if you're one of those people who don't like terms of endearment like that; some people get very uptight. No offense intended.) My boyfriend's family is so very much like that. Verbally abusive to a terrible degree, and even spreading that nastiness...