I'm a 24-year-old male dealing with an incredible amount of school and credit card debt. I can't pay my bills anymore. The weight of this debt is on me all the time but I'm discovering new ways in which it is harming me socially. It's 4:00 in the morning. I just woke up in a panic, with a depressing thought.

When I last fell for a girl she ended up having a boyfriend. I got to see him once. He seemed to dress much nicer than I and he had a nicer car. I don't know anything about him, but just from his appearance he seemed to be better-off. The girl I was all about was also certainly more financially secure than I. When I saw them together it felt like someone came up behind me and cut off my balls. There was no way I could have filled that guys shoes in that situation. He was able to provide for her in ways I never could have. All I can give someone is debt and misery it seems.

I don't mean to be materialistic. I know "things" aren't all that girls want. But it makes me feel like such an asshole knowing that I can't take a girl out to somewhere nice without putting myself deeper into the hole. I can't even afford to buy myself new shoes to wear to a date. I should be able to take a girl out to restaurants and not have to worry about it. I should be able to give her little gifts from time to time. I should be able to offer her some type of security. As a male I should be able to provide for my girl. It feels horrible knowing that most any girl will most likely be making more than me and carrying far less debt.

I am going to have to live in this tight financial spot for some time now. Even with a decent job I will not be able to be secure for years to come. I feel caged, like I won't be able to share my life with someone comfortably until all this settles. But God only knows when that will be.

People who say money can't buy you happiness didn't understand much. When you can't afford decent clothes or even a haircut, love and happiness are much harder to come by.

no joke. but ur only 24. even if it takes u 10 yrs. ull still only b 34. ull get there if u do what it takes & have patience. things take time

But it doesn't only apply to meeting a potential partner / love interest. The money situation can apply to friendships also.

If i meet someone who seems better off, $ wise, than myself it can be an issue because they may want to do expensive things Ex. go out to broadway plays or to dine at expensive restaurants.

They drive a 2008 mercedes you drive a 89 pontiac, I know money shouldn't matter but it does play apart. It can be uncomfortable if you are not in the same income bracket.

Well if I was you, I would take my financial debt as a challange and a goal fo pay it off as fast as I could rather than letting it depress me, and upset me. If your sad your debt is still going to be there, so I would rather just accept it and work on it until it's gone, no matter how long it takes. And yes, I think that we do tend to live in a material world at times, but not all people are like that.

This post was last modified: 10-16-2007 06:37 AM by Blue Sky.

money cant buy you happiness. I think you just have to meet the right girl, if shhe loves you she'd never make you feel badly about any of that stuff.. the fact that you actually want to take care of her (unlike half the other losers out there) will show in little ways.. simply by the fact that you may walk her home, or bring her orange juice if you know that she's sick..

she'll appreaciate thoes stuff wany more than the guy who picks her up in a BMW then says he has and early day tomorrow so she has to taxi home, and doesn't even call to make sure she's gotten home safely.

Anyway when you're single if feels like there is no right girl..so i doubt that helped

Basically i think what i say won't help you feel much better. And well it's been said in the posts before me too. So, i just hope things will be better for you, Guy.

Money doesn't buy happiness but it will make you more comfortable. I've known people on both ends of the spectrum who were very content regardless of their financial situation. It seems your unhappiness is a temporary thing which is good. Things will look up. They always do. Remember that nothing ever stays the same.

Also, you must remember that some women, and women please don't be upset by this, are "one husband away from homelessness" so I'm assuming she is attracted to his money which symbolizes security for her.

This world today is a very scary place. For some - money - is the security they seek..for others love. And sadly..sometimes neither works out. I wish everyone could find happiness...but it's such an elusive thing. So try to take one day at a time and work towards your goals.

Money does buy happiness, but you need a lot of money to increase happiness a small amount (this has been found in studies). However, lack of money (ie you live from week to week and sometimes you run out of money, no food until payday etc) can definitely reduce your quality of life substantially.

If you're having money problems, get support. By that I mean go to a budgetting service. The thing about budgetting alone is that it is lonely and depressing. However budgetting with someone else can help, don't know why, but it does.

As a suggestion, find someone else in your shoes and meet fortnightly to discuss finances.