Most the time I'm happy and energetic and a good person

Something i wanted to change, i always back down and avoid confrontations to avoid conflicts, even if I’m not the one at fault, i apologies and accept blame so that no one gets in trouble.

I wanted to be more assertive, i spoke with a tone, when i felt fowl, i fought for the last word, only once though,

Common mistake, i think i may have mistaken assertive for aggressive.

I may have systematically driven all my friends away.

Though it felt like before all that they were paying less attention to me, starting the vicious cycle. It may have been paranoia all the time, but my sister is very popular and is at college and has plenty of friends and has always been invited to things like 3 times a a week, and I get a call form 2 people a month

I love my friends I completely devote myself to them, they don't know how hard i try, to be a good person and a great friend to be there for them. it's like running a triathlon, but i keep dying at the 5k mark for some reason, thats why the feeling was driving me crazy, i think about them all time(not in a stalkerish way)

do i ever cross their minds


when my best friend had just been dumped by her boyfriend who she was insanly close with last February. she never even told me, i found out i think the next week, she called 3 of her friends 2 of whom she knew about a 1/4th as long as she knew me.

And she said she just didn't want anymore people to see her like that,

i said that was fine, and i didn't think about that till recently,

I didn't want her to call me so i could see her cry, i'm not like that
i just wanted to be there for her

and we all want to feel needed.

I'm not important,
no one ever needs anything from me
but three things

the time of day
money
and a ride somewhere
but I always give it, because I want to believe that I’m a good person, and so they’ll like me. It never works.


I don't like to be the center of attention and I don't need a lot of friends, but when i find someone I connect with I really crave their attention, I want to know that they need me as much as I need them.


Back to the whole being passive part. Are there people like me that just exist to serve the purpose of being storage containers for people's crap? because if it weren't for us scapegoats would there be mass riots of angry people taking their anger out at more angry people, taking their anger out at the other angry people by throwing bricks through their windows.

Would their have never been those riots in Alabama in the 60s if I had been there to take the blame and beg forgiveness and buy the blacks and whites sandwiches to make up for it.

The best way for people to unite is against a common enemy

Now I don't know if i should try and fix this, or be myself, and stop talking to them back and take all the freshmen to teraki chicken sticks for lunch.

there's something I’ve been told i did that have no recollection of
and we almost knew eachother for a decade, 7 months.
7-17 8-18



I can never argue to the point of yelling, because i could never stand someone hating me, why is it so easy for others. I know i can't please everyone, but I’m always too afraid.

haha hummm i really don't know what to say man....huuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm....................................but oh ya welcome =)

it's okay
but thanks

I find it hard to be assertive. When I do manage it I feel like the she-bitch from hell.

I also have a sister who needs to be doing things with friends all of the time, whereas I lead a much more quiet social life. I have a few friends and the thing with most of them is that if I don't contact them and organise to do things, I won't hear from them. I go through stages of really resenting this, then I feel lonely and get over it by calling them again. The bizarre part is that when I DO see them they always say that we should see each other more often... yet they won't initiate anything! I really can't understand this. Maybe it's the same with your friends?

Also... some friends are easier to talk to about certain subjects than others. Maybe your best friend just felt that the other people she told would be able to give her better advice or something...

I don't like being hated... who wants to be hated?? I think it's natural to want people to like you.

Idk man its a hard one i have the same sort of problem prob just not as bad and im not sure how to fix it, with words i will argue and debate but with violence i always try to avoid and difuse the situation

Lol diamond dancer, same cannot be said about me. I go out with tons of friends, i mean i try to and each time i go out, i feel so lonely when i am with them, so detached, lol but hell, my life basically is one big obligation. I am with my friends because i am obligated to do so lol

thanks dd(can i call you that?)
and it is so true it drives me crazy,

I don't understand why they don't call, i never get invited over to people's places, I mean if they never call, obviously they never think about me. There are times when it's like they have litertally have forgoten i exist.

And i never want to call more than like twice a week, because i don't want to get on their nerves


but thanks again, it really does help having someone to relate to.

I've had 'friends' like that before... but unlike you guys it seems, I could never really get over that resentment I felt towards them. Eventually I just let them have it their way and stopped trying so we just slowly drifted apart. Reaffirmed my feelings on the matter. I guess they just didn't like me as much I liked them or thought they liked me... oh well.

1. You worry too much..especially about what other people think of you.
2. You're trying to hard.
3. Relax...always be yourself...and learn to laugh a lot more.

If the people who claim to be your friends don't hang around after that. Then they never were really your friends..just hangers on. Like finds like..and when you learn to relax and be who you really are..you will make true and lasting friendships.

You can call me whatever you like, long as it's not offensive.

Just because they don't call doesn't mean they don't think about you...lots of people just don't like using the phone, myself included. I can go for weeks, even months without hearing from some of my friends. I think about them, but stuff happens that stops me from finding the time to get in touch with them.

Anyway welcome to the forum.