ok so about 6 days ago school ended and over these last few days quite a bit has happend i was blown off my my freind twice lost my job and had the police sent after me (long story,short i ran away) so today i was chillin ay my school,whare i go to think, and my freind blew me off AGAIN then i hit a new time low. i was angry at everything, my freinds,famil,co-workers,life,everythings and before i knoew it i was at the local drug story buying,and dont jump to conclusions,razorz,the cutting kind.i didnt realize what i had bought untill later that day when my freind called and it sortof snapped me out of it. i went over to her house later that day and she pryed the first one from my hands and the other i disasembled and threw away.as you can see i almost hit a new time low.one of my greatest frears is a hospital, not the medical kind, i mean the one whare they strap ou down if you having thoughts. the freind i was talking to i concider to be my angel and i know its bad when she says it might be for the best to go to the hospital for a while.i know shes worried about me, today i saw a side of her that i thought didnt exsist,incase she reads this im not gonna say,and for that reason i decided to go,i think. its still kindof hanging in the air a little bit. i would like a second opinion on all this. im willing to go not only for me but for my angel,she wants to see me happy and all i want is whats best for her. but still my fears are making this a hard choice,it just goes to show how terrified i am of these places and i dont know why. plus im not sure how to tell my mom about all this, after all going up to her and just saying "mom can you bring me to the hospital,i almost killed myself," might not be the best thing right now, hard times. im not so sure what to do though, now you see my delema. just goes to show how powerful love and fear is. lets see which is stonger shall we?

You were going to cut yourself I presume? I cannot stress this enough, DON'T.

Now as for your friend, it seems obvious she cares for you and justs wants to see you getting better. Now tell me, what exactly is wrong with you? and may I ask how old are you?

I can understand you not wanting to upset your mom. Although if you feel yourself slipping into this mode of thought again, you should probably find someone to talk to about it. As far as going to the hospital, you're really the only person that knows if you need to. You pretty much have to ask yourself how serious you were, and whether you think you're in danger of doing something terrible. The important thing is to do what's best for YOU and your well being.

I hope things get better soon.

im 17 il be 18 in augest. whats wrong with me is that this last year has been the most horrible year in my entire life. alot of shit has happend to me that,honestly, i didnt deserve.

hawk9007,

do u actually think that they will help u at the hospital???

(((((((((((Hawk)))))))))))
It's tough being 17, huh? I don't know what has happened to you but, I do know it is hard being at that age. I have raised two teenagers and I'm on my third...lol There is so much going on with hormones and chemistry in the brain at that age. Not to mention peer pressure and all the other crap that teens go through. You must be in a lot of pain to consider such a thing. I hope you do go to the hospital and get some help; IF that is what you want to do. I have worked on a hospital floor for people who have tried to hurt themselves and I will be happy to tell you a little bit about what goes on.

For now, I would like to share this number.
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

You don't have to give them your name. You can talk to them or you can have your friend talk to them. Right now you need support till you can get things under control.

Here is thier website:
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

You do not have to go through this alone. Unforunately, suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens. I don't want you to be another statistic and I'm sure your mom doesn't either.
There is an old cliche that says "This too shall pass" Your life will not always be as it is now. You will have happier days.

its honestly the last thing i want, but concidering how far i have fallen its kindof my last hope. nothing else seems to work.