Hi Askal,

Fair enough. Doing these self-care things makes us healthier and stronger both in body and mind. Therefore we are more able to attract a healthy mate. Make sense?

How stupid do You think people are? I don't think that anyone here, not even the really young one's, believe that anything is perfect in a relationship or friendship, and especially not what they see in the movies or are bombarded by the propaganda of the society. The reason why they are here is because they already have realized this.

Wow, really, lonelygirl, how can You write something like that? Humans are supposed to live with other humans and finding a lifepartner is what give most people a good reason to live at all. I'm starting to think You're one of those people who've had so much negative effects from relationships that You are planning to give up and become a bad influence to the other members here. Askal has obviously turned both gay and religious from his lack of the most important thing we humans are naturally supposed to have. I have zero controdictions to what gender You prefer; that doesn't stand in the way of love the slightest, and religion can turn to be the most important thing is a persons life; if it's good for them i'm allright with that, but writing something like that is just plain ignorant and selfish. It might be true to the one's who've tried but failed time after time but they are the one's we're supposed to help overcome their sorrow here, remember? And the one's who never even tasted love yet could get one step closer to suicide by reading things like that.

Most people who even came here in the first place and are depressed is because they want to find someone who they can share their love with! Please, stop treating people like they've lived in a cave all their lives and stop doing the opposit of helping! And i mean both of You!

lol I'm neither.  

For the record:

My sexual orientation:  I'm definitely STRAIGHT.  I am drawn to the physical beauty of women... especially the thighs and breasts.   Also the voice... that gets to me.   

But relationships... forget it.  I've been through a soul-destroying experience that almost made me commit suicide.  Never again.  


My religion:  Born a Catholic... but I do not believe everything they say.  I believe in a God.  I believe that true "love" only comes from God and humans cannot substitute what God can do.

If this was the main reason to exist... Like lets say i lived in a propaganda blackout area... where all I hear EVERYWHERE is this.  

I woulda killed myself by now lol.  

There are other reasons to live...  Like:

1)  getting rich
2)  continuous learning
3)  helping other people  
4)  Pride
5)  God (for the religious in here...)
6)  Family

Whoah. Robin, I've been here a lot longer than you have. Did you really mean to come across as so holier-than-thou and judgmental?

I don't mean to make people discouraged. However, I DO think that some of our younger members in particular, those who are lonely and who have never had a girlfriend have a lot tied up in the concept of being 'saved' by a woman. I think that is an unrealistic point of view that will only lead to heartache and heartbreak. People need to be WHOLE. That means they need to be healthy, physically and mentally, so that their love relationships dont' have the ability to totally destroy their lives if they go sour.

"Look at pictures of Prince Harry or David Hasselhoff... or just any goddamn guy on this earth.

Jerk off to him.

Worked for me."

Well, if You truly are heterosexual i suggest You really start thinking about what You write, or at least how You write it.

"I believe that true "love" only comes from God and humans cannot substitute what God can do."

Religious might be the wrong word, but You're close enough to have beliefs like that. You're saying that God decides whether or not You're gonna find Your true love. I say that You decide whether or not You're gonna find true love. If everyone shared the attitude You have with this whole love thing, we all would be dead not only due to the fact that we need eachother to re-produce, but also because there ain't not god coming down to do the work for us, finding what most people want to find here.

"There are other reasons to live...  Like:

1)  getting rich
2)  continuous learning
3)  helping other people  
4)  Pride
5)  God (for the religious in here...)
6)  Family "

1. Won't take loneliness or depression away, nor keep You happy for a long time.
2. This is a good one, learning is a great way to make life both better and longer and this is something which is widely known to be very good to get better from a depression, as well. I wouldn't agree it could take away the need for love and close social contact though.
3. Also an important step, but this is one of the main reasons i got depressed. I don't think anyone can keep helping people forever without feeling good Yourself. Sooner or later it will fade, unless someone is there to love You back.
4. Pride? Pride of what? Seeing Yourself as a good person You can be proud of doesn't count as something You can live on, does it?
5. I honestly don't think that there are so many here who actually believe in a higher power, at least not of the one's who came here because they're sad. I can't say that this doesn't work (to live on, i mean), but i don't think that the people who entirely depend on their religion have a good life; they just say they do because they have to thank their god for living at all.
6. Don't think family is a big deal to most people here either. They wouldn't feel lonely if they had a good family to rely on. Not even the perfect family can get You anywhere close to the feelings that true love can do.

I definitely don't mean that all these things combined wouldn't be able to make up for love, but what true love does to Ya can't be compared to any of these things; it's so much greater and can make up for everything else You mention. I know it isn't easy; it's far from easy, but finding true love is something i really hate that not everyone who deserve it can find. It's the hight of what a good life means. I'd say You've taken the easy way out; not that it would be wrong or that You were too weak to keep fighting for love, but i think this is just a phase for You too.

This list You made above isn't bad, Askal. I suggest that You add things like that to posts in which You talk down on other stuff (to make up for it, You know) because every time that we write something negative about someone's beliefs and hobby's we gotta add something else to fill that space up with so we don't scare them away.

What does Your time here have to do with my complaints about Your attitude towards relationships? Do You want me to treat Your bad influence with a more gentle tuch simply because You've been here longer than most others, including me? I came across here to help as much as possible and putting up a safety-net of a, perhaps, exaggerated optimism is just what some people need to get their low hopes, of a good life at all, up, and that is precisely what mental healthcare is all about in some occasions. No veteran is gonna keep me from defending the best in life just because everyone else around here failed to reach the ultimate relationship.

When these people finally find love, don't You think they will figure out how a relationship work by themselves? They don't need someone with a negative experience of relationships to tell them how it might end up, to feel any better about this whole love thing. That might brake them into peices for good! They are about to experience and create their own love-life and they will quickly learn what a relationship is all about in time, just like we did. And i wish that they do so without any notes about negative experiences of other people, in the back of their heads.

Everytime You fall You either continue to fight with more power in Your leggs to carry the experience in Your trunk, or give up to let Your one and only life flush out in the sand because the trunk got too heavy. Life is too important to not fight for what aches in Your heart.

Dude, how old are you?

I'm not asking to insult you. I just honestly want to know. Your attitude is a bit sophmoric.

As for discouraging depressed people, if you read the many, many posts I've put on here, I am here as a 'big sister' figure and NOT to discourage anyone. I've met some wonderful people on this site!

Also, I think that most young people do NOT have an unrealistically negative view of love relationships--they have fairy tale ideas about love conquering all, etc. Well the Hollywood fantasy has caused many, many broken hearts. If I could help spare one person the heartbreak of being destroyed by a failed love relationship, I would happily do so. I warn people to be cautious in love, take it slow, trust their instincts, and protect their heart until they KNOW they can trust someone.

Man you just cracked me up. Thank you for bringing happiness into my day!

lol that post was meant to be directed at a GIRL. To help kill the pain of not having a man in her life.

I tried jerking off looking at WOMEN in porno... and seeking the services of "escorts" and "massage parlors" during the initial stages of my heart-destroying experience with a woman I dearly loved... It helped kill my ability to "love" a woman in the romantic sense of things. Because if I didnt kill that part of me, it will cost me more pain. Its like an infection that needed to be removed out of my body. "Love" these days is not worth all the pain and $$$ spent on it. Its the ultimate scam.

Ooh... now I'm a woman hater...

Not quite. I just have a friendship policy to them... Nothing more than that. lol... so therefore, I am LEAST LIKELY to become a stalker. Therefore I am a completely safe guy to be with.

And by the way...

Not only GUYS jerkoff. GIRLS jerkoff too (hence the invention of the dildo). GIRLS are also attracted to physical attributes of guys (though they are more attracted to confidence, tone of voice, and how much of an alpha male you are).

I am 20 and what i am trying to say with most of what i've written in this thread so far is that what everyone can do mistakes and that You, LG, for example, made a "mistake" in my eyes when You wrote that people should be realistic enough to not believe that a husband/wife/lover can make anything better. The funny thing is that i see You as a very sophomoric person by not understanding this.

I and every single person who stayed here for at least a week know that You are amongst the most helpful person this forum has ever had. That is the reason why think You fail to see that You can make some unnecessarily negative statements which can do more harm than good; You've been here for so long and are so used of being seen as an older sister that You can't believe how anyone could have so many problems with some things that You write.

I have noticed that i probably is the only person here who actually believe that love is the best thing in the world, is willing to defend it to 100 %, and that it is what every person should seek out first before they attempt to find their real goal in life.

The fact that You see me as You do simply because i'm relatively new here disgusts me. You are not the most important person around here, neither am i.

Hehe, well i sure find that line quite funny too after realizing how it actually was (and how oddly put it was.)

I don't really see You as a person who hate women, i can understand how the feelings and experiences You've had with woman so far can change Your way about them. As an advice i would just like You to try and tone Your rather obvious ways about woman, sex and porn down a little though; it can be put out in a little more gentle way. There are probably quite a few people who read posts of Yours which they find a little "rough", You know what i mean? Really, i don't do that at all; i could curse and use tons of sexual words myself, being swedish and very free about sex. Writing about it is totally ok in this board, i think, but using the F-word, for example, is a little risky, don't You think? Just wonna tip You off, Askal, You're probably so used to use that kind of language that You don't notice it sometimes. I were like that once myself but this place is filled with sensitive people of all kinds and those are the one's i'm thinking of.

Is it warm over there too? Some heat wave just blew in over northern Europe this morning. Phew

Okay Robin fair enough. You made some very good points in that essay to me. I agree with most of what you are saying. However, I don't think I ever said that love won't make things better. Love is wonderful! Love is beautiful. Love is what life is about: Love for a romantic partner, and love for a family, love for all humanity. I just don't think that people should think that falling in love with solve ALL their problems!

That is perfectly understandble even to me. All i wanted to explain was that those two senteces could force quite a blow on those who yet haven't found love, You know.