So you have no friends. So you feel lonely.

Why why why? I've only met acqaintances and has never progressed to anyone who is a "true friend".

Its all about chemical reactions.

During social conversations, the brain secretes a certain hormone (name is long and hard to pronounce lol) that makes you "happy"... and it activates other centers of the body... Hence the UNDENIABLE fact that mental health is the key to physical health and other things.

To trigger the "happiness hormone"... just try chillin out in the bar... or play your MMORPGS... or just watch comedy shows. Rid yourself of all that bullshit "love story" crap.

Even if you happened to read the new york times and you see a "love success story" smack dab in your face, its tempting to take every word of it and feel jealous.

But think outside the box. Whenever you see such a "success story", go through these thoughts for awhile:

1) Are you sure that is the truth being reported? Maybe they just did it for money and/or publicity? Maybe they're just being a "showoff" as a defence mechanism? Maybe theyre just showing the world that what a nice fluffy marriage we have... in order to hide the TRUE picture. Think of it as Kim Jong Il's propaganda machine. They show pictures of nice images to the world... but the defectors speak a different story. That is human nature. To be "PLASTIC".


2) If that is the truth? You've already talked to the dead and the fortune tellers and they all tell you that IT IS TRUE!!! Time to cry now and feel sorry for yourself? FUCK NO! That is just propaganda that will fuel more sales of the newspaper... as well as the whole "wedding industry". That includes divorce lawyers and "psychiatrists"... as well as the drug industry (you need to make your prozac right!!!) that happily make profit on people's misery. Do you wanna give these heartless fucks money? Yes or no?


Anyway... as I was saying... TRIGGER THE HAPPY HORMONE. It is triggered through music (especially hip hop and rock), comedy shows, and exercising (especially full contact fighting).



De-mystify yourself. Free your mind from the idealistic propaganda being unleashed upon you by society in order to make profit!


There is NO "true friends". There is NO "true love". Snap out of it.


Thank you.

the happy hormone is called endorphin...I beg to differ,askal, because meaningful and satisfying relationships are key to the general well being of humans, any study of human science would tell you that. As for the truth of love, friendship and propagandas, different matter alltogether, that's a philosophical discussion. And you're right when it comes to endorphins, you can continue doing things to make you happy, but it's short lived, end of the day, your human instincts still tell you that you need companionship. Generally, anyway.

Wow, that is the most awful and least helpful post a person with a longing for social conscent or in a depression could ever read. Either You are trying to brainwash these people or You are as far away from the affliction most of the people here as possible; You're a the wrong place to talk about chemicals. These people need a personal guidance to have a realisation check of the situation of their lives and You are doing the opposit of just that. Don't You think they already tried playing their MMO's, watched their movies and ignored the happy stories of love they see all around them for weeks, months and even years?!

I don't know why You came here yet, but if You did it to help anyone with their lonelyness You are not doing a good job. I can't say You aren't trying, You have have Your own reasons to tell Your stories, but most of the other people who came here to help have had their own periods of depressions and lonelyness and are far more experienced with how to get happy in life than You are right now.

Do not listen to anything this guy has written in this thread if You are lonely or depressed; You know as well as i that ignoring Your sadness and never trying to solve Your social problems will get You nowhere but down. You should definitely not stop doing any of Your hobbies; playing some games and watching some movies some hours a day are a temporary, good way to think about something else for a while. But DO NOT think that this is the answer to Your aching heart! Depression and lonelyness goes hand-in-hand and machines are only going to make it worse for You if You overuse them. Unless taken care of, lonelyness will in most cases lead to depression which is a very real and very dangerous illness which You shouldn't try to hide by doing something to maximize Your endorphines; THAT'S HOW OBCESSIONS ARE CREATED!

P.S. I just read through Your introduction-thread and i couldn't have been more surprised; You might be a lonely veteran, but You're no depression expert. I am a defender of dreams; i believe people are supposed to do everything it takes to reach them to ever reach endless happiness and if they aren't going to look back on their lives when they're retired, regretting that they never took enough chances. You seem to preach the very opposit of my believes; that climaxing temporary joy and becoming mindless zombies who do nothing but try to fill their minds and hearts with selfish reveling is the only thing people need and i couldn't be more upset with how proudly You do so. If You managed to create a good life for Yourself by learning to ignore the lonelyness i am very glad for Your sake, but You must understand that You are a very rare person for succeeding* with that. While i like the idea of warning people about joining a sect to beat the lonelyness i must say that it can be catastrophic for people to start thinking like You do. Depressed people are very fragile and easily tempted and You should not try to teach people to ignore their hearts like this! This is the opposit of what the mental healthcare of the world is supposed to preach!

* You'll either go insane or end up deeply, deeply depressed once You understand that You are so very, very wrong, Askal.

I respect your opinion buddy.

I'm tryin to help. Yes. But at the same time I'm not trying to be a sort of "bible thumper". I offer suggestions and its up to you to listen to them.

However, please understand that my way of thinking wasnt just developed overnight. It wasnt something that was taught to me by someone else. It is basically something I've learned through experience... and has proven (at least 90%) effective to lessen my dependence on anti-depressants.

You know... its like how different people in different trades learn their stuff. From simple things like data entry... to more complex things like brain surgery. Learning from experience, my friend.

If you think my way of thinking is WRONG, I dont blame you. It is "wrong" because my suggestions are painful to do. And maybe I've been too blunt with my words. But there's also a saying "no pain, no gain".

Robin, if you think every post I do is flawed... feel free to point out the "weaknesses" and "imperfections" of what I post. Like what I said in my intro thread. I'm willing to expound my knowledge by staying here. Maybe I can learn from your posts. Since I also believe I have alot to learn. I'm not gonna try to flamebait you or act in an uncivilized manner.

Maybe so, maybe not. Only God knows the future.

But so far, I have stopped on anti-depressants and I have stopped seeing psychiatrists... because of changing the way I think. The anti-depressants strike at the branches... or maybe the stem, but it is the ideology that strikes at the roots of the problem of depression.

I've been told that I'm no longer considered a suicide threat or somethin. No more suicidal thoughts. I'd say I'm a more stable and motivated person right now than I was a few years ago... when I was just a total trainwreck. Depressed... and suicidal. God I was lucky my depression hadnt cost me my job. I was lucky I happened to be on those supervisor-less night shifts when I can go to the bathroom and cry like a little bitch without anybody noticing it.




As to the readers of this thread: You be the judge on who is right and who is wrong. Maybe Robin is right, maybe I'm the one whos right. The power to change your life... is with you.


Thank you.

You proove my point and still think it's ok to do what You're doing. Listen, i understood very early through Your post that You are one of those people who made it passed the worst parts of depression by changing Your ways one way or another; that's just how i did it and i know how confident You feel about Yourself after this; i felt pretty much immortal after i re-created my reality. The problem is that You are so confident about Yourself and the theories that You've made up that You think You have the answer to everyone's problem. I'm telling You; telling people to do what You are telling them too in this thread will not help them. You experienced and created this to be shaped to You so how do You expect to help anyone else by simply telling them Your story and then that ignoring the things that You ignored will help them? It can be more desctructive than helpful!

So You actually admit that this is "painful" to do? I say that it's plain bad, has a very, very big chance of failing since it's not the slightest individual AND it's painful to do? Are You brainwashed or what? You've brainwashed Yourself to madness. You want people to stop following their minds, hearts and souls, sit down and do something else to forget about their problems and treat themselves as regular, healthy people with no problems in the world as long as they pretend they don't exist? The first thing You should learn from coming here, which i thought everyone knew since elementary school, is that everyone are different and that ignoring what You long for the most is the worst thing You can do to Yourself in Your life.

I'm not saying that the way You did it was wrong, but You're actually telling people that they should try to "do" like You did it; forget about trying to find someone, wether it's a friend or a partner, and that turning to the other, easily overcomed desires will give them happiness nevertheless. Changing is one of the major steps of curing a depression or finding a friend, we share that knowledge. But what You're saying about branches and roots is precisely what i'm saying; telling people to do these things will not go down to the root of the problem, it will only help them temporarily while the real problem grow bigger and bigger in the shadows.

Wow. Well I think Askal actually made a good point. In a way. For example, when we first fall in love there are tons of delicious sweet chemicals going off in our brains. It feels so damn good. No wonder people fall in love, go from partner to partner seeking thrills and hot sex! I've been with my husband for about 5 years now and trust me, I hardly ever get the chemicals anymore. However I still love him and am glad he's my partner.

In a very... small way, perhaps. His talk about endorphines is correct, i agree, but the thing is that he suggests that the lonely one's here should stop looking for both friends and partners and only live to maximize these chemicals by entertaining ourselves with machines, which is the opposit of what You are talking about as well.

I resent this as a pm to Robin but I think others here should read it too...

-------

You misunderstood my post and maybe I wasnt clear enough on explaining it properly.

What I was trying to say that the "dream partner" is nothing but a lie full of idealism. I was really trying to encourage people to have REALISTIC expectations and snap out of the fairytale propaganda that the media shoves down your throat.

Otherwise, I'd be inflicting pain on myself by waiting and yearning for that dream sexy girl with huge boobs and nice ass with a flower in her mouth... to come rescue me from this shithole of an earth.

Its like the day when I was crying because my toy dinosaur did not become "alive" no matter how hard I hoped it would.



If I claim to stop tryin and lookin for friends, then I might as well not be here, since that contradicts what I'm tryin to say. If I really claimed to not be lookin for friends, I should be somewhere in the mountains meditating my ass off... and hopefully maybe I'd discover how to lift my ass of the ground... lol

My intention here is to help... and to smash the bullshit propaganda that society has fed to me since birth.

I dont want people to fall into the same trap... And I want to pull people out of the trap.


I hope you understand. If you still need more clarification, please say so

Hmm Askal you do have a point. What Hollywood and TV tell us about relationships is primarily bullshit. That it's all good all the time. That the great sex will last forever. That our marriages are going to be easy and fun. That all it takes is finding the 'right' person and all of a sudden your life is rainbows and sunshine. Well, I have learned over the past 31 years of life that it is NOT True--that there are wonderful relationships, marriages, etc. But nothing is perfect. Because humans are imperfect. People should be realistic. Many of our lonely guys on this site think that getting a girlfriend/wife/lover will make it all better. But the truth is that relationships are work. If you have nothing to give, it won't last long.

So: Polish yourself. Improve yourself. Work out daily. Eat healthy (heck at least one healthy meal a day!) Take your vitamins. Take good care of your skin, teeth. Get regular haircuts. Brush your teeth a lot. Put on a little cologne. Take care of your appearance. Work on your mind. Go to self-defense classes. Go to church. Go to meditate. Go to volunteer. Improve yourself and you will attract a better quality mate. :-)

Dont do all that for the sake of attracting a mate.

Do it because it is good for you. Do it because it is something that will benefit you.