I know a lot of the people on this site are shy.
But I was wondering (not sure if I'll get any replies)..but are there some people on this site who are NOT shy but still lonely...?


I know sometimes I might try to talk to someone in real life (and i see this as being out going)..then I would get rejected..subtly... like the person might pretend not to hear me..or (well today in a bus I saw someone I knew and they acted like the didnt know me (i know you think maybe they didnt remember but whatever..its not important))..


The point is ...sometimes being outgoing feels really bad as well... because you feel like you do try to be social and that you just fail at it... because STILL you are lonely..and it's not because you are shy.

Plus you deal with rejection..
so are there any "non-shy" alonelylifers?

This post was last modified: 04-19-2008 04:46 PM by jales.

Yeah, I think I'm one of those. Got no problem getting people laughing, or going up and introducing myself, but no matter what I do in the end it always seems like there's nobody there. That can frustrating...I know I've got a natural charisma about me, but I must be using it wrong or something. Sucks.

It seems like i have seen some people here mention that they weren't shy. Sure seems reasonable. A move, a lost of a spouse or relationship or a variety of other factors should be able to cause loneliness.

People are so shy jales they can't even answer

Im shy, really shy but i act like if i wasnt. Its the way i found to protect myself. But yeah, im shy. I get red (more than blushing) when im going to talk on the phone (for the first time) with my friends that i didnt meet in the real life yet lolz

Sorry I can't really relate. Actually, what you're describing doesn't apply to me on two diffrent levels.

Level the first: I'm really too shy to even aproach people. In fact, the other day I spied a girl I was in the same class with last semester on the street and when she recognized me I said to myself "aww, shit! She's going to want to say hello." And sure enough she did. After managing to get out a few lines of mumbling in reply I hastely stood up, said "see ya" and made my escape. So yeah, not only do I not have the balls to reach out to others, but I also feel very, I guess, threatened in the unlikely event that they reach out to me.

Zweitens: Because I never even attempt to make conversation with new people, I never get to expirence much in the way of regection. I agree that getting regected is a particularly nasty expirence, but I actually wish I would have to endure that more. The reason being that the way things stand right now, the only person who is at fault for my social woes is yours truly. If I were to be regected by others, then, at the very least, I could be an outcast proper. It's my understanding that this has been the expirence of a lot of the kids who pull off shooting rampages at school--they get rejected by others in general, so they sucumb to exreme misanthropy. Unfortunatly, I can't bring myself to truely hate people like that because, truth be told, people haven't really done me any wrong. So, all the guilt of failing to create relationships with others falls on my shoulders. Lucky me!

Wooof! Sorry about that was a bit on the rambling side there.

man, i used to be painfully shy..
but then one day i woke up and was like f*** everybody and what they think about me. life became really easier.

Yeah, I gave that a whirl for a bit there. I hope it works out for you better than it did me. The only lasting affect it had on the way I precieve social situations is now I accept that I can't talk to people and every time I get engaged in conversation I kinda just throw up my hands in defeat, bite my lip and endure the social akwardness.

That is quite understandable though at the same time i am not quite sure what to make of it. I can't blame anyone either though i think my social incompetence also plays in there. Again that could possibly just be a result of me not giving myself enough learning opportunities.