These aren't particularly good, but I thought they were pretty funny.

"Take the bull by the horns." What do you do with the bull when you want to let go?

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You have to go through alot of fruits just to get to the caramel."

You ask your child,"If your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" In response, "Well, how high is the cliff and do I have time to buy a parachute?"

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.


Oscar Wilde

Here's some quotes I used for an essay on Chuck Palahniuk's writing style I wrote earlier this week;

“'New carpet,'” Denver [Manus] says, 'will exude poisonous formaldehyde for up to two years after it’s been laid.'
Brandy says, 'I know that feeling'” (Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters 230)

"It’s funny, but when you think about it even the biggest tragic fire is just a sustained chemical reaction. The oxidation of Joan of Arc." (Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters 15)

"No matter how much you think you love somebody, you’ll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close." (Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters 15)

"What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can’t decipher. What we can’t understand we call nonsense. What we can’t read we call gibberish. (Palahniuk, Survivor 118)

"The future is wasted on some people" (Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters 100)

"The lips say, 'The future is not bright.'
'Pretty soon, we’ll all have the same thoughts at the same time. We’ll be in perfect unison. Synchronized. United. Equal. Exact. The way ants are. Insectile. Sheep.'
Everything is so derivative.
A reference to a reference to a reference.
'The big question people ask isn’t ‘What is the nature of existence?''
the mouth says.
'The big question people ask is ‘What’s that from’'" (Palahniuk, Survivor 111)

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
-Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

For some reason I've had that quote in my head the last few days. I don't know why as it has been some time since I read that book.

This is so true. Reminds me of another saying: "There is no such thing as bad press".

"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."

Mr. Adams, we miss you...

"Music is like candy, you've got to throw away the rappers." -?
"If Hitler made music, it'd be rap."
"There's a reason rap rhymes with crap."

XD
LMAO

Am a gonna remember dat one

RAP-retards attempting poetry

I just put my fav. quote in the signature thingy... It's from a Pratchett book, I love that guy =0)