I feel like I will never find the one for me and just feel like giving up.

My first bf it was great in the beginning until he told be out of the blue that we should break up. It was like something just tore my hear tight out of my body. So we broke up but we continued seeing each other b/c our parents were friends. I gues me and him just had weak will power b/c it turned into this friends with benefits thing. He was my first, well alot of firsts .There would be times when it seemed ok but then he would change and act like o complete asshole to me. I was so lost and emotional confused. In the end we had a realy big fight that hurt me so much and then he left to Europe . It left a very deep hole inside me that took along tim to heal

After a while I started dating someone else and in the beggining he was nice to me though he did have alot of issues in his life but I was determined to be there for him. After we have been dating for a while I decided this guy cares about me we should take the next step. After that evrything was a okay for a little bit but it changed over time. All he seem to care about is sex. He stopped caring what I though didnt try to take me out or anything and bragged to his friends about oh how he fucked a model ( I want to model and agency wants to give me a contract) Then once my periosn was late and so I thought th worst and my mom saw how stressed out I seem and confronted me about it and I told her. I wasnt pregnant just stress but my mom from now on has dificuly trusting me to this day. Me and him broke it off.

I've dated this other guy after that and he was realy sweet to me we connected he treated me well. unfortunenty he also had a substance abuse problem and got caught and went to jail for a little bit then to rehab. After he came out he asked me to help him stay off drugs and be there for him and I said I would. But his mom wont let him speak to anyone I called his house phone and she basicaly told me to loose the number and never call again. this was yesterday so thats that.

Yesterday I talked to my first bf in Europe online and he apoligised to me for everything . He said that he was being an asshole because he found out he was gonna leave so he wanted to push me away. He said it was wrong of him and he realised how much of an effect it had on me. So we started talking more and he told me he has a gf and how happy he is . It was liek something just brought the old pain from the past and I started to cry. WE continued on talking and telling me that I'm a wownderful person and was a great gf and will deff find someone for me soon but I just kept on crying near my labtop. I though I put it all behing me but I guess not.

And now here I am after everything just seeing eveyone find someone special in their lives and I'm alone with alot of the old pain boiling at the surface. i just needed to talk to someone that would give me advice or something . I dont know if I will ever find someone or feel like I dont deserve it sometimes.

It's a shame that (too) many people these days are just after sex. Unless you know that person's sex history, not too much can be done. Personally I find it unfair that your first bf who you have had many firsts with would break up with you out of the blue without even explaining why. Even up to this day, you should be able to know why, unless you don't want to know.

Your story about the guy who had the substance abuse was sad. I could never tell you to not date him because not everyone's bad but my general advice is that even if you are lonely, you still have the right to set your standards as high as you would like and sometimes, a loved one's help is not the same as getting professional help.

I can't blame you for crying from talking to your first bf again because he was your first (and the first person you're worth should be special) and he wasn't treating you the way you deserved yet he's the one happy now and having a new gf and I'm sure that a part of you will always continue to love him and even though you could have him around as a friend if you wanted, it's not the same and deep down many of us would want our ex's to want the best for us and sometimes to be around to comfort us. When you think about everything, it reminds you of how much you want to have someone to fall in love with and to make you happy.

Girl, it's tough out there for a woman (and a man) these days! The womens' revolution did many great things for us females, but it also made it possible for women to just spread their thighs to anyone socially acceptable. Therefore, it's harder to find a man if you are not promiscuous. If you are promiscuous, it's hard to know the man's true intentions since he may be just using you.

Lonelygirl's right.

Me, I also feel like everyone I know is finding someone special. I think that happens especially around a certain age.

I might be able to give some advice, send me a pm I have experience with 1 serious "all firsts" girl like you...

Aww! Well, you are at least lucky to find a guy who would possibly date you. I'm 15 years old and I have never had a boyfriend, or any guy have a crush on me. All the guys I know etiher hate me, like someone else, or wouldn't go out with me if I was the last girl on earth. Right now is not the best time for me to have a relationship since I really need to bring up my marks, especially in math, but I guess I just would like to know that one guy in this world would actually date me. *sigh* Why must guys be so shallow and only like girls who are attractive looking?

Why must you be so shallow and only like guys who are attractive looking?

Answer: because nobody wants to be with a visually unpleasant person.

The same reason why you don't have a boyfriend yet, there are actually plenty of guys without a girlfriend, but they are either ugly, or fat, or very shy and don't speak, so you don't want any of them.

This post was last modified: 04-02-2007 05:51 AM by mimizu.

You should not feel like you don't deserve to have a good boyfriend. No matter what happens you should have value in yourself. Some people (like your first boyfriend) think that after a period of time dating someone, that they loose their value. Like just throwing something away because it is used up or obsolete. This is how people treat other people, as if their primary value depreciates over time like a used car. Look at the divorce rate for example.

We are all lonely, our beauty will fade, we all make mistakes, bad things will happen too us, we have personality flaws, and all of us will die. If you meet a guy whose ego isn't big enough to cast a shadow over these truths, and many more nobler ones, that is the guy for you. You may have to lower your expectations as far as looks, salary, and popularity, but if you look, you will find him and he will have value for you, more than anything else he sees.

P.S. you wont find theses guys on the internet or at bars or at clubs
P.S.S. this is just my opinion, so dont limit yourself

P.S.S.S. I believe that if you want to enough, you will find a great guy!

Broken, this is not true. When I was 15 I was too afraid to talk to any girl (beyond "hi", "yeah", "ok" and other monosyllables), let alone attractive ones. This is probably true with most of the guys you go to school with

You're on the internet too.

Im not one of those great guys.