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  1. L

    I'm cursed. I'm giving up.

    I honestly don't know why I try. This whole year has been a disaster. Last year I was living with a narcissist. I ended up living on the street for a few months, then I was diagnosed with diabetes, and I broke my foot. I moved into an apartment with cockroaches, Gnats everywhere, and the floors...
  2. L

    Should I talk to my therapist?

    I've been having a lot of trouble making decisions. My judgment is so clouded. I live in an apartment building full of drug dealers and addicts, and they keep me up all night, and they're always waking me up. I think the lack of sleep is messing with my anxiety. I keep getting suicidal thoughts...
  3. L

    I feel like I lost it

    A lot of people in the support group have mental health issues, addiction, and PTSD. I think part of the problem is I don't feel like my problem deserves attention. I went through so many years of abuse and it made me afraid to put myself out there. If I go to a church or any type of place with...
  4. L

    I feel like I lost it

    I was thinking about that the other day. In college, I had to take a public speaking class. An easy A. No tests. No homework. Just learning how to speak in public. All the other classes I did well. This one, I ended up with a C. I think what it is, when I'm talking in front of people, they're...
  5. L

    I feel like I lost it

    I wish I could bring some of this stuff up in group, but I always chicken out. I wish my friend, Jessa was still around. She died in an accident last year. I felt more confident when I had friends around. I know I won't be judged if I open up, but I have PTSD. I had so much narcissistic abuse...
  6. L

    I feel like I lost it

    I find myself drifting away. I have no friends or family. No one cares about me. Every night before I go to sleep, I cry until I fall asleep. Tears soak my shirt and my pillow. I used to work on my novels, but I have no desire to even write anymore. I get tired of worrying all the time. Worrying...
  7. L

    Sometimes I feel like giving up

    Sometimes I feel like giving up. It feels as if everything I do, I fail. I'm a writer and I'd like to publish one of my books someday, but I know I'm probably not good enough. I grew up abused for years and bullied. My parents told me I'd never be good enough at a lot of things. to Anyone else...
  8. L

    Social anxiety seems to hold me back

    It seems so hard for me to be open. I have group therapy once a week and I go again tomorrow. Every time I want to talk about something specific, something holds me back. I don't know if it's fear, anxiety, or a little of both. I really want to talk about what's on my mind when I'm there. I seem...
  9. L

    Is it selfish of me not to care?

    My days just keep getting weirder? Crazier? More odd? I'll think of it. A couple of weeks ago my phone stopped working and they were supposed to send a new one but I haven't received it yet. Someone from my counseling center called the police and asked the to do a wellness check. They came to my...
  10. L

    I'm not myself around others

    Ha, I hear you there. I don't know how people can flood themselves with so many activities. Where I lived before, the town was cleaner, cops were pounding on doors in the middle of the night, the drug dealers were discreet, and loud mouths didn't keep me up at night. Here, OMG, people show up at...
  11. L

    I'm not myself around others

    Hey, social anxiety has always been a problem for me, but it seems I also scare others or push them away. People frustrate me to the point where I question their intelligence. I know not everyone can be a scholar, but wow! Some of the people I've met since I moved here, wtf? Sometimes though, I...
  12. L

    Facing my fears

    I have always enjoyed writing. I've always done it as a hobby, but last year when I almost died, I started to think that no one is ever going to see anything I ever wrote. Some of those books, I would NEVER consider publishing, but some of them I'm proud of.
  13. L

    Facing my fears

    I did consider that. I think Stephan King uses one when he wants to step outside his usual genre. I could be wrong though. It'd be nice to publish at least one of my books.
  14. L

    Facing my fears

    Yeah, what you're saying makes sense. I'm trying to push ahead. I get these nightmares and she's always in them taking something from me or screaming at me. In the past, I had a lot of friends, but no one ever really believed in me. I know you're supposed to believe in yourself, but it would...
  15. L

    Facing my fears

    Hey, thanks for the advice. I'm learning as I go along about narcissism. I didn't even know I was dealing with one until it was all over. She was an aunt, so it was easier for her to get inside my head, her being family and all. Maybe I shouldn't take what she said seriously. It sucks she turned...
  16. L

    Facing my fears

    Hey, I noticed I always had a problem facing fears. I've been writing since I was 10 and a couple of months ago, I came up with the idea to publish one of my novels. I'm insecure and give up easily, mostly because I fail at life. I started a book series last year about 5 characters that I have...
  17. L

    Lost in the abyss

    Hey, thanks for replying. I would like to publish one of my completed novels. I found some websites where you can submit stories. I just don't know if my novels or even short stories would ever be interesting or good enough. One of the problems I had with diabetes is, I have other health issues...
  18. L

    Hey there, I just registered

    Hey, thanks. No, it's cool. Yeah, I think I'll be more comfortable here, hopefully. I mean, when I try to talk about something with a person when I do get the chance, the social anxiety holds me back from saying what I really want to say, even in therapy. Thanks for replying.
  19. L

    Hey there, I just registered

    Hey all, I just signed up tonight. I have intense social anxiety, so I figured it may be a little easier for me here. I posted one thread already, though I'm not good at opening up. I do a lot of writing, so I'm more used to writing books than writing about my feelings. Anyway, I'm glad I found...
  20. L

    Lost in the abyss

    Hey there, I'm not sure if I posted this in the right category. This past year has been one nightmare after another. It all started when I started having dreams of the end of the world. I'd find myself jumping across rocks with lava everywhere. Even though I didn't touch the lava, I could feel...
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