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I agree. I think the issue of choice is not about whether we choose to feel sad or lonely, but rather what we do about it. Do we simply react to these feelings by e.g. drinking, taking drugs, sleeping around, and so on? Or do we make a constructive choice to change our circumstances?

Gindu, There is a chat room associated with the forum that may be more your cup of tea.

Not being able to go outside sucks... do try to catch a bit of sunshine every day if you can. And eat well and exercise. Anyway, I'm sure you've heard all of that before. My suggestion is to set yourself some kind of goal which will be your ticket out of there. If the goal is to get better...

I say go for it!

Emmy, You're making this person out to be sociopath (I have no idea whether that's fair); but given that's what you think of her, why on Earth put yourself at her mercy? People who abuse others are very good at making their victims feel dependent on them. You may want to consult some of the...

Sounds like you're headed in the right direction. Good luck with the PhD!

Hi Luna, I think you'll find that talking a trained, experienced therapist will be a good thing. There's no way a serious professional will say stuff like "think more positive, things will work out!" and expect that to solve anything. Sometimes, of course, they won't say very much at all and...

Thanks for posting this - it looks great.

I'm working on my thesis, and for the last two years of it I've been in virtual isolation. I'm sure the loneliness is affecting my ability to think properly - which of course just drags the whole thing out. I'll never again put myself in this situation. Why not go into the office everyday, or...

Most of the stuff Hollywood produces are clichés dressed up with special effects or celebrity movie stars. If people like watching the same thing over and over again that's fine, I suppose, but I get bored within the first five minutes. I think the more independent and foreign movies you see the...

Phaedron, Actually I think in previous societies it would have been a lot harder to find yourself completely isolated, because there would have been a much stronger sense of community. Everyone in your town or village would have known everyone else, and families who would have been much larger...

Hi edgecrusher, I know what you mean - I've often felt left out of conversations, and that I didn't really belong to the group. I've noticed that it's been a particular problem whenever I've had a girlfriend and tried to get know her friends. I've always found that extremely difficult and it's...

Well exactly. If you don't think you've got much going for you right now, what do you think is going to happen when you completely cut yourself off from others? If you're looking to move and start over again, like Rammy, it might make sense depending on how supportive or destructive you feel...

I knew a couple who actually had an agreement that they could sleep with their celebrity crushes if the opportunity ever came up. (I think the celebrities were Hugh Grant and Kate Winslet.) One of my ex's had a crush on George Clooney, and I used to tease her by pointing out that Clooney had a...

Remedy, To be honest, I think most guys believe that they are loving and caring. I believe that I am, but at the same time I know my ex's would disagree. Am I deluding myself? Are my ex's mistaken? You can give someone all the care, love and attention in the world, and the relationship could...

I have one friend who makes an effort to keep in regular contact with me. We don't have all that much in common, and sometimes I find talking to him a bit of a chore. Nevertheless, I do appreciate the fact that he makes time for me and so I will always make time for him. Even if one day I have...

For those who haven't seen them yet (will offend some fans): Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Review Attack of the Clones Review I think the dating tips, courtesy of Anakin Skywalker, from this series are hilarious:

LazzarusB, I don't think you're being awkward or hard to understand at all. It's normal to have to clarify what you meant when talking to complete strangers over the internet! And I think you've already located the problem. On the one hand, you think that dating someone doesn't involve any...

Actually, I agree with you that gratitude can be thought of as the opposite of envy. But I don't see why it's a mistake to think that some lonely people feel envy. I'm not trying to be moralistic about it. I'm not saying that envy is a sin (that's up to you if you're religious). But it's not a...

Is that a good idea? Personally I'd have thought allowing that kind of latitude would attract the wrong kind of guy. It might also make them think that you're not very serious about the relationship, even if you are. I think that if you're prepared to remain monogamous while dating someone...