Hey everyone. This is my rant.
I felt like I was an odd one out. A black sheep among the whites one. I have no idea why I felt this way, it's just felt that I can't connect to them anymore. I felt so suffocating everytime I have to go to class. It's not like they are avoiding me, they only talk to me when I talk to them. If I don't start a conversation, they won't.
It got to a point where I felt that I started lying to myself saying I enjoy being alone but that's not me. I don't think anyone enjoy being alone. This made me feel like maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not really a good friend? I don't know and I don't think I will. You won't expect me to run back to my highschool friends because all of us split up.
This is so heavy. I don't know what is it that I wanted anymore. I still do great in my studies but that's just a matter of time. I'm starting to lose interesrt in everything even eating. There's one time I got so depressed that I didn't eat for that day.
People says I'm great and all but I think that's just buttered up phrase where you can hear anywhere and to be exact, why is it so hard to get a friend? My defination for friend is someone who can take your bullshits, give you harsh and critical comments and give you his piece of mind when you piss him off but I think my standard is just too high. I don't think it's possible to even find such a person unless you started knowing him since childhood?
If any of you guys can figure out what's wrong with me, do tell me. They say you can figure out someone personality through their writing? I don't know. I know I can't but thanks for reading my rant anyway. I do feel a bit better but this doesn't explain my current feeling very well. I feel so complicated, so devoid of the world that I tend to just lose interest in everything. I don't sleep well in night nowadays too. I just wanna shout FML to everyone I meet now. I bet that will makes me feel good.
I felt like I was an odd one out. A black sheep among the whites one. I have no idea why I felt this way, it's just felt that I can't connect to them anymore. I felt so suffocating everytime I have to go to class. It's not like they are avoiding me, they only talk to me when I talk to them. If I don't start a conversation, they won't.
It got to a point where I felt that I started lying to myself saying I enjoy being alone but that's not me. I don't think anyone enjoy being alone. This made me feel like maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not really a good friend? I don't know and I don't think I will. You won't expect me to run back to my highschool friends because all of us split up.
This is so heavy. I don't know what is it that I wanted anymore. I still do great in my studies but that's just a matter of time. I'm starting to lose interesrt in everything even eating. There's one time I got so depressed that I didn't eat for that day.
People says I'm great and all but I think that's just buttered up phrase where you can hear anywhere and to be exact, why is it so hard to get a friend? My defination for friend is someone who can take your bullshits, give you harsh and critical comments and give you his piece of mind when you piss him off but I think my standard is just too high. I don't think it's possible to even find such a person unless you started knowing him since childhood?
If any of you guys can figure out what's wrong with me, do tell me. They say you can figure out someone personality through their writing? I don't know. I know I can't but thanks for reading my rant anyway. I do feel a bit better but this doesn't explain my current feeling very well. I feel so complicated, so devoid of the world that I tend to just lose interest in everything. I don't sleep well in night nowadays too. I just wanna shout FML to everyone I meet now. I bet that will makes me feel good.