it makes me feel more alone, its not the same anymore...

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edgecrusher

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for years i didnt really have a best friend here with me. then a few years ago this dude got hired at my work and we instantly became close friends. we have a lot of common interests as far as what we like in terms of movies, video games, music, and sense of humor. then he joined the army a little over a year ago and i was all alone again. he comes back to visit when he can, its only like 4 hours away. hes here this weekend. but now when he comes back, its different. my roommate is a former marine so he knows a lot of military stuff. now thats all they talk about. we went out to eat last night and my roommate, my friend and the guy that came back to visit with him who is also in the army just talk non stop about military stuff. sometimes political stuff. i dont really know anything about any of that and i dont care to talk about it. its still awesome to see him but hes kind of different now. this is just another example of why i feel so alone. no one has ever stuck around in my life. they go off and do whatever and we dont talk anymore. i dont talk to anyone from my past aside from the random "hey whats up" on facebook or whatever. its few and far between and they are different. this friend is literally the last person that i regularly talk to that i have left, aside from my sister and random acquaintences that i dont talk to about personal stuff because i dont know them like that. i feel like it will always be like this. like i will be alone forever. no real friends that i regularly talk to, never been with anyone romantically. i dont mind not having a lot of freinds but... where is that someone for me?
 
I sometimes feel like there's no one for me to be close to like that. There's only a few, literally about 3 or 4 people, that I can really say I'm close to. But I believe in things happen when you least expect them. So someone will eventually come along who you'll grow close to and nothing can break that bond.
 
aren't we always alone?

i will pick being alone by myself over being alone in a crowd any day.
 
Just_Some_Dude said:
aren't we always alone?

i will pick being alone by myself over being alone in a crowd any day.

thats exactly how it feels though, alone in a crowd. i want to be alone... but do it with someone. it would be nice to meet that someone and we could be alone together if that makes any sense.
 
edgecrusher said:
its still awesome to see him but hes kind of different now. this is just another example of why i feel so alone. no one has ever stuck around in my life. they go off and do whatever and we dont talk anymore.

You can't blame people for continuing on with their own lives. They aren't here for YOU...to be who you want them to be, despite their own life goals and plans.

It's kind of selfish to expect people to remain the same "for you." Everyone changes as they grow... the best you can do is try to remember what made you friends in the first place and expand on that.
 
Badjedidude said:
edgecrusher said:
its still awesome to see him but hes kind of different now. this is just another example of why i feel so alone. no one has ever stuck around in my life. they go off and do whatever and we dont talk anymore.

You can't blame people for continuing on with their own lives. They aren't here for YOU...to be who you want them to be, despite their own life goals and plans.

It's kind of selfish to expect people to remain the same "for you." Everyone changes as they grow... the best you can do is try to remember what made you friends in the first place and expand on that.

i know, i didnt mean it like that. i just meant they found something to do with themselves or someone to be with and im still here just stuck... and alone. i dont blame my friend for joining the army and leaving me, meaning i dont blame him for doing something with his life. even if he didnt really want to do it in the first place if he didnt have to. i am in no way angry with anyone. it just sucks that the few people i was close to have all found something or someone and im still stuck here in lame VA, alone.
 
Ye bit hard to get into the conversation when there talking about that stuff I can guss.
I would not try even to tbh with you. I would just try and be content with smiling and nodding.
hopefully your old friend well make some time just for you on some visits and not just to talk about he's army life with this other guy.
If he is a good mate he well not keep doing that. Maybe he just did it to begin with cos its still all new to him.

ppl well come and go through. It just sucks how moor ppl seem to go then come.
Actually I got that last bit from a mate on here but it is so true.
 
edgecrusher said:
it just sucks that the few people i was close to ahve all found something or someone and im still stuck here in lame VA, alone.

Mmm yeah I hear ya there. It's a ***** when even kids younger than you are getting married and starting families and stuff. That's what's going on for me right now.

All I can do is remind myself that it's not my time yet. I'm finishing school and preparing for my life; and when I'm ready, I'll be able to enjoy everything I see those around me enjoying.
 
I know exactly how that feels! People move up and onward, and it's awesome, and I'm happy for them... But why do they have to leave me behind? It makes you feel like you're not good enough to come along into their new lives. Everyone's gone and I'm still here, sad, waiting for the next person to come along and eventually leave also.
 
I know what you mean too! It seems like a lot of people here do. So many of my friends have up and left me after we shared a friendship that I thought was meaningful. I know I should be happy that they have made positive changes in their life, but it's hard not to be resentful when dropping me is one of those positive changes. I can't help feeling like nothing more than an artifact of their past, when they have newer and more exciting things to occupy their time with.

I continue to hold the somewhat idealistic belief that if I were to find a true friend or lover, the bond between us would be so strong that even if it were to break, it would take a good chunk of them with it. In other words, losing me would hurt them too.
 
Well.. you'll never have this problem if you dont let him control your happiness. Because.. You can play video games, watch movies, listening to music, and having a good laugh without other people including him :)
 
edgecrusher said:
for years i didnt really have a best friend here with me. then a few years ago this dude got hired at my work and we instantly became close friends. we have a lot of common interests as far as what we like in terms of movies, video games, music, and sense of humor. then he joined the army a little over a year ago and i was all alone again. he comes back to visit when he can, its only like 4 hours away. hes here this weekend. but now when he comes back, its different. my roommate is a former marine so he knows a lot of military stuff. now thats all they talk about. we went out to eat last night and my roommate, my friend and the guy that came back to visit with him who is also in the army just talk non stop about military stuff. sometimes political stuff. i dont really know anything about any of that and i dont care to talk about it. its still awesome to see him but hes kind of different now. this is just another example of why i feel so alone. no one has ever stuck around in my life. they go off and do whatever and we dont talk anymore. i dont talk to anyone from my past aside from the random "hey whats up" on facebook or whatever. its few and far between and they are different. this friend is literally the last person that i regularly talk to that i have left, aside from my sister and random acquaintences that i dont talk to about personal stuff because i dont know them like that. i feel like it will always be like this. like i will be alone forever. no real friends that i regularly talk to, never been with anyone romantically. i dont mind not having a lot of freinds but... where is that someone for me?


I feel like that too even with friends from grade school. There's someone for you, just be patient. Facebook's getting tiring just good for games. I got married early and moved frequently, almost like the military. My best friends along with most of my family either don't call or do so every 2-12 months. The've got the nerve to tell me why I don't see or call them. It's always me calling first. Used to spend 100 bucks on drinks yet they don't want to spend 12 cents a minute on their cell phone to say hello , what's up dude for a few minutes? F them there's so many people to meet, but these forums help when I'm feeling abandoned, frustrated...and whatever else. Stay strong, about that someone, I found mine. Lots of problems not entirely her own, but beats loneliness right now.
 

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