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My mom passed away, now I'm alone
06-29-2010, 12:55 AM
Post: #1
My mom passed away, now I'm alone
My mom passed away 2 weeks ago today. I am an only child, we didn't have any family that we talked to. I called my grandmother to tell her that her first born had died and she didn't care. She thanked me for telling her and that's it. I have no boyfriend, I have 1 good friend who lives about an hour away so I hardly see her and I have a dog. That is what my life consists of now. My mom used to be my world, now I am all alone trying to figure out what to do with myself so I don't go insane.

I work, come home, walk my dog and watch tv. That's about it. Now, without my mom's disability check I don't know how I'm going to make ends meet. I have no one to talk to except my 1 friend.. and now that I live an hour away we hardly get to see eachother. Yes, we text every day but it's not the same.

Sometimes at night I get so lonely that I feel like I am in a dark hole and I'll never be able to come out.

I need a hobby.. I don't feel like reading books anymore, I've read too many already. I wanted to start sewing so I could make my own clothes and whatnot but I don't want to spend money on the materials and stuff. Any hobbies that have worked for anyone out there that you can recommend? I'm even willing to join a support group or something like that but I don't know where to find those groups. I live in Aurora, Illinois (about 45 mins from Chicago) and I'm 27. If anyone has suggestions for me as to how to keep myself busy or how to get past this loneliness please let me know.


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06-29-2010, 01:10 AM
Post: #2
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
Firstly, I offer my deepest consolation and sympathies to you. There are many on this forum that have an idea of what you're going through and some in your area that can help with finding a peer group. I only know of the loneliness and not the loss. I suppose my first inclination is to suggest picking up an instrument but you've got financial woes so that may not be ideal. I work and when I don't work I'm in University. It keeps me busy but its not a healthy way to live. I suppose you could always dive into your work or try something new like possibly writing.

This forum is a support community in itself and hopefully it'll do just that, support you.
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06-29-2010, 07:42 AM (This post was last modified: 06-29-2010 07:43 AM by zero.)
Post: #3
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
My deepest and sincerest condoleances. Sad I know how it feels like, though it`s not my mom, but my grandmom who passed away and we were very close. It took me one year to be able to wake up in the morning without tears on my face. Volunteering sounds like a good idea, maybe in a group that supports elders, take long walks, go out, write down your feelings, keep a diary, do things you enjoy, try to be creative, rearrange the furniture in the house, redecorate it, surround yourself with as much light, sun and a peaceful atmosphere as possible, search the company of people, don`t isolate yourself. In time it`ll get better, trust me. Smile Here on the forum you`ll have the chance of real support, if you let it. *hug*



I`ll always be here for you. Smile

難来る無いさ

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06-29-2010, 08:30 AM (This post was last modified: 06-29-2010 08:31 AM by skywatcher.)
Post: #4
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
I can imagine how you feel, im very sorry to hear that and i hope i can say anything that can make you feel better but i dont have any words for it... Time will heal you eventually.

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06-29-2010, 11:58 AM
Post: #5
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
bootiful Wrote:My mom used to be my world, now I am all alone trying to figure out what to do with myself so I don't go insane.

That's the problem right there. It's unfortunate that your mother died, but... it's not really healthy to have that attitude about one's parents. *shrug* It's just not.

It's not really healthy emotionally/mentally to have any other person be "your world"... but especially parents, as they ARE older and will most likely pass away before their children.

Again, I offer my condolences and a *HUG*.

"Before you judge someone, try walking in their shoes for a mile. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

My porn name: Toothpaste Jackhammer.

A bad Jedi dude
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---minty


There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Founding member of DO-IT (Department of Orgasmic Intervention Tactics)

"Man's Inhumanity To Man
Makes Countless Thousands Mourn."


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06-30-2010, 03:52 AM
Post: #6
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
You're right. I didn't realize that it was unhealthy until after all this happened and I talked to a friend and she told me the same thing. To me it was normal because that is the life I lived every day. And now I gotta figure out who I am and what makes ME happy.. it's going to be a hard journey but I know I'll be ok.

It's only been 2 weeks since she has passed so it is still very painful but today I am having a good day and enjoying it. Tomorrow may be tough but I have to remain positive.

Thank you Smile

(06-29-2010 11:58 AM)Badjedidude Wrote:  
bootiful Wrote:My mom used to be my world, now I am all alone trying to figure out what to do with myself so I don't go insane.

That's the problem right there. It's unfortunate that your mother died, but... it's not really healthy to have that attitude about one's parents. *shrug* It's just not.

It's not really healthy emotionally/mentally to have any other person be "your world"... but especially parents, as they ARE older and will most likely pass away before their children.

Again, I offer my condolences and a *HUG*.
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06-30-2010, 04:42 AM
Post: #7
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
bootiful, i am sorry for you loss. I wish there was something helpful that i could say to ease a little of your pain but unfortunately i am not that good with words.
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06-30-2010, 10:46 AM
Post: #8
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
(06-29-2010 11:58 AM)Badjedidude Wrote:  
bootiful Wrote:My mom used to be my world, now I am all alone trying to figure out what to do with myself so I don't go insane.

That's the problem right there. It's unfortunate that your mother died, but... it's not really healthy to have that attitude about one's parents. *shrug* It's just not.

It's not really healthy emotionally/mentally to have any other person be "your world"... but especially parents, as they ARE older and will most likely pass away before their children.

Again, I offer my condolences and a *HUG*.

If his/her mom was sick though, they may not have had much choice. Being a caretaker can be a more than full time job sometimes.

Bootiful, can you work? Getting a job would not only provide you with income but would get you out and meeting new people. Also keep you busy so you have something to think about other than your grief.

So sorry for your loss. I'm only a few years older than you, and I couldn't imagine having to deal with such a loss at this age.

"They pretend they're going to always be there for you, and then one day they pack up and move away and take their love with them, and leave their declawed cat to fend for herself. They leave her, wondering what she did wrong." - Mittens
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06-30-2010, 02:38 PM
Post: #9
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
bootiful Wrote:It's only been 2 weeks since she has passed so it is still very painful but today I am having a good day and enjoying it. Tomorrow may be tough but I have to remain positive.

That's a great attitude. Smile If you can just hold on to this view, then you're golden. *hugs*

Again, I wish you well.

"Before you judge someone, try walking in their shoes for a mile. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

My porn name: Toothpaste Jackhammer.

A bad Jedi dude
Combs the forums endlessly
Master spam spotter

---minty


There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Founding member of DO-IT (Department of Orgasmic Intervention Tactics)

"Man's Inhumanity To Man
Makes Countless Thousands Mourn."


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07-02-2010, 07:48 PM
Post: #10
RE: My mom passed away, now I'm alone
bootiful, its really very bad that happen with you. But no one can do anything in it. Its wish of god. I also feel very sad that you become alone. But one thing is that never feel that you are alone. Because you have lots of good friends here to communicate.


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