Does anyone enjoy being alone yet still get very lonely?

keiramon said:

I am new here when I actually googled "lonely life" and came across here. What a great site so far, I look forward to more responses and writing them!

Anyway, I'd like to start off by saying I'm a very introverted person. Like very. I can't stand being around large groups of people (at least not for very long if I have no choice) I work in customer service and at the end of my shifts I feel so emotionally drained that I look forward to having a few days off before I come back in again. Rinse and repeat. If someone ever does hang out with me, I really only do it once a month.

Yet, I'm still a very lonely person. I suppose I should say whenever I get a weekend off (not that I work very late on weekends to begin with but still..it takes up half my day) nobody seems to be around and wanting to do something or they all live in their own lala land. I have a very low selection of people I truly call friends that live nearby and obviously, I do not have a boyfriend.
I don't drive, I live kind of on the outskirts of a major city and I still live with my parents. My parents don't really include me in any conversations and just hang out with each other.

I also live in Canada and it gets very cold here very fast during the Fall. Even getting outside just to take a walk or get fresh air is depressing because I can't stay outside very long. Going to work has been my only means of leaving the house so far because I have no other reason too.

I feel very depressed and lonely yet when I go to work and come home I enjoy being alone.

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hunnyb8975 said:

Hey there!

First off, dont feel bad... its like that for everyone.

And maybe youre not 'depressed' per se, maybe just have the blues. Actually joined this website, because of your post.

As an extrovert/only child, I TOTALLY understand... enjoying being alone, but then sometimes feeling lonely. Went thru 2 yrs of no car, and it was miserable. But atleast you have your parents, (I have none, was adopted) maybe you can have a game night with them, and then maybe a few neighbors. Or 'Lonely hearts' club, get some singles together to mix, meet, talk and chill together.


Being in Canada, sure the weather isnt helping, trying Meetup.com, thats done WONDERS for my social life. Met so many new and interesting people I wouldve never met.

Lastly, hate to preach/lecture.. but its for youre own good, Ok ready?



In the end, best thing for you, is to sit down make a roadmap of things you want out of life. House, car, family, career, health.. whatever. You make up your own goals. Then (working your way backwards) write out a detailed list on how to get those things.

ie: health.. losing weight> diet > exercise> pick new physical hobby> try dancing or a sport... BINGO!!!

You might take dance lessons, and meet people that way. OK.. not if dance lessons are too much, see if you can rent dance dvds from the library for free , or netflix , or your cable/satellit provide... or youtube tutorial. Then search the net for parties, with those kinda dances, like bellydancing, burlesque, tap/swing.

thats what I did, and it sparked a completely different passion.

or

ie: College degree> school (campus or online) > maybe online> pick a school> register> tuition plan> make payments> NEED MORE MONEY> 2nd job or selling things. (like crafts, artwork, old furniture, clothings, neighbors and family stuff

Now you have a goal and an action plan to accomplish it, youll then meet people along the way, youll be able to socialize with.

If you live near a town, borrow a car, or make your way there... and check out a local bar/band/lounge, make friends with the bartender/owner... and theyll help you meet people.

Try getting involved in local government, charity or old folks home.

Theres alot. Sometimes, as a singleton, youll have to kinda DONATE your time to a cause... but it'll come around. Wear something cheerful and interesting an smile. People will gravitate towards you.

When youre in the house alone, or to yourself, develop your talents.

keep your space, light happy... no black walls and dark music. LOL...

If you live in the woods, plant some exotic herbs or raise bunnies or something.

Think its not depression, just boredom maybe.

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Olde shoe said:

At least you still have a support group Keiramon. Your parents are with you.

I have neither family nor friends nor a girlfriend. I'm 30, I work hard at my job but still could not afford a car. I've lived alone for close to a decade. I'm introverted, I do not enjoy being around large crowds either.

On my weekends, people around me just aren't around! They all have their own outings. I wish I had a group of people whom I could hang out with, but alas, I have none and haven't had any for years. I only have 4 or 5 good friends whom I never get to see anymore because I live and work in a foreign country.


I do enjoy being alone but I do get lonely at times. Like many, I want to desensitize myself completely to the feeling of loneliness and sadness. I want to just keep working 'till it kills me.

I never get emails, texts, calls, or even replies to my posts from anyone at any time of year or at any given occasion. My mobile phone only has numbers of my superiors at work and some companies.

I am alone and from here on in, I might be until I pass away.

All I really want in life now is really just to have a beautiful and honorable death and be forgotten. I don't fear death or dying. I just want my death to be meaningful. If I happen to find an opportunity to save a persons life at the expense of my own, I wouldn't even think twice. I just want out. I'm through hitchhiking in this life.

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edgecrusher said:

the title of this thread kinda sums me up. i am not exactly a people person at this point in my life. i have found that most people tend to disappoint or not stick around in life. as a result i actually do like my alone time. but at the same time i wish i could find that special someone. i guess i want to find someone to be lonely with if that makes any sense.

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keiramon said:

Anyway, I'd like to start off by saying I'm a very introverted person. Like very. I can't stand being around large groups of people (at least not for very long if I have no choice) I work in customer service and at the end of my shifts I feel so emotionally drained that I look forward to having a few days off before I come back in again. Rinse and repeat. If someone ever does hang out with me, I really only do it once a month.

Click to expand...