Reasons to hate love

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Lynth

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Let me begin by saying that the following are my own cynical opinions and attitudes towards love.

I hate love because:

1) Rejection makes you feel like absolute ******* honeysuckle.

2) It doesn't matter how many partners you have, all that matters is if it makes you happy, go for it.

3) If you break up with someone, don't bother trying to mend things, just find someone else to fresia. That's the main reason you were with someone in the first place whether you realize it or not.

4) Love is the only drug that you can overdose, take in moderation, take casually, or completely reject and it will still fresia you up in the end.

5) I'm an atheist but if Love were a god and said: "Obey me or I'll fresia you up" I would hate myself for disobeying but would hate myself even more for obeying. Both options are honeysuckle essentially but I'd probably end up obeying.

You can all laugh at me now. I just had to ***** about something today or else my day wouldn't be complete.

 
Lynth said:
Let me begin by saying that the following are my own cynical opinions and attitudes towards love.

I hate love because:

1) Rejection makes you feel like absolute ******* honeysuckle.

2) It doesn't matter how many partners you have, all that matters is if it makes you happy, go for it.

3) If you break up with someone, don't bother trying to mend things, just find someone else to fresia. That's the main reason you were with someone in the first place whether you realize it or not.

4) Love is the only drug that you can overdose, take in moderation, take casually, or completely reject and it will still fresia you up in the end.

5) I'm an atheist but if Love were a god and said: "Obey me or I'll fresia you up" I would hate myself for disobeying but would hate myself even more for obeying. Both options are honeysuckle essentially but I'd probably end up obeying.

You can all laugh at me now. I just had to ***** about something today or else my day wouldn't be complete.

The first thing that popped into my little head:

Every relationship
is under the control
of the person who cares the least

Man, that sucks!
 
Lynth said:
3) If you break up with someone, don't bother trying to mend things, just find someone else to fresia. That's the main reason you were with someone in the first place whether you realize it or not.

Eh, that's not why I would want to be with someone. That's pointless to be with someone just for that.
 
I love reason 3, someone who actually acknowledges the truth.

Here add this to your list:
Love steals your independence. Your life is no longer yours. You have to share it with another sentient being who has an agenda of their own.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
I love reason 3, someone who actually acknowledges the truth.

Here add this to your list:
Love steals your independence. Your life is no longer yours. You have to share it with another sentient being who has an agenda of their own.

Yea, that's another one. Although I would modify it and say:

Love steals your independence and you know that before going in but you ******* do it anyway and regret it later just like you knew you would.

I think we all fall in love with these negative thoughts with the hope you can prove yourself wrong. That all the happiness you will receive from your partner will out-weigh the freedom and independence you once had.

The heart wants what the heart wants and despite failed relationship after failed relationship, we still try and change our ways and keep failing since we don't have the free will to not lust over people.


 
I just found an old post from this forum posted 2.5 years ago by a user named 'bookbinder' that I can't help but copy and paste into this thread. This is from an old thread called - 'To those of you who are single and usually feel hopeless about finding love...'

bookbinder said:
I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm a cynical *******, so feel free to disregard whatever I say.

In my experience (and this was true for me before I became a cynical *******) people like to put love up on a pedestal. They like to think of it as a kind of sheer joy that fills up your soul, as if your heart was laughing.

This is what keeps people from finding it. They're convinced it will happen all at once, as though they meet someone and they have to constantly search for some kind of connection. Most of these people will find nothing.

Love creeps up on you, and grabs you in its grips before you know it. If you're waiting for it, it will not show. You have to go forth assuming it will come eventually but never expecting it to come on time, because if you expect it, you'll usually force yourself into a relationship that will burn out quickly. Love is that evanescent, perfectly bloomed rose; you cannot will it to grow- you must chance upon the right weather.


In other words, fresia as much people as you can without intentions and sooner or later you should fall for someone. (I told you I was a cynical *******.)

The part I highlighted in bold beautifully explains why I hate love so much and why I feel so trapped and locked in this battle with myself on whether or not I should pursue a relationship with someone.
 
Hi-
I know this thread is about interpersonal relationships between adults, however, having a child expanded my definition of love. Who knows how my little girl will turn out but it's my job to love her no matter what. And I am better for it.
Adult relationships are a completely different ball of wax, of course.
As for the OP, I'm a (happy) atheist too and your reason # 5 reinforces my belief. Or non-belief, if you like :)

Teresa
 
"Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to."
 
SofiasMami said:
Hi-
I know this thread is about interpersonal relationships between adults, however, having a child expanded my definition of love. Who knows how my little girl will turn out but it's my job to love her no matter what. And I am better for it.
Adult relationships are a completely different ball of wax, of course.
As for the OP, I'm a (happy) atheist too and your reason # 5 reinforces my belief. Or non-belief, if you like :)

Teresa
Believe it or not, this is the one kind of love I despise above all else, unconditional love. It inspires the worst in humanity. If you do not have to earn love you have no reason to act morally or better yourself. Whether this love be from a lover or between a parent and a child.
 
I would also like to add that I don't believe I have a choice on becoming a slave to love. Like there is a real punishment that, while you don't deserve it, you will experience it. I feel like if I never get a girl, get laid, fall in love, or whatever, I'll end up becoming be a very angry person inside when I'm older because I will regret not giving in to my desires that I had while I was younger.

I've heard several people say "Even though you may regret it, you'll regret it even more when you're older for not having a girlfriend while you're young"

JUST SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE fresia I'M A 26 YEAR OLD MALE VIRGIN WITH A STRONG DESIRE TO BE WITH SOMEONE BUT DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH ANYONE!!! I'M ******* SICK AND TIRED OF ASKING THIS QUESTION ON THIS FORUM! WHY DO I HATE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ROMANCE/SEX???? WHY DO I DENY MYSELF WHAT I CONSTANTLY AND NATURALLY DESIRE????

Just tell me so I have something to work with when I start seeing a psychologist since that seems to be the road I'm heading down.

And yes, I know I'm just more respectful and thoughtful towards women and perhaps I'm just waiting for the right person to come along or I'm just not ready or I'm just shy or I need more confidence and blah, blah, blah.....I feel like such a mental case.

God...now that I think about it....it seems I sometimes wish I was one of those guys who had alot of sexual partners and experimented with lots of girls. Basically the stereotypical "player"/potential ******* and that ******* pisses me right off. Guess that's what I get for being honest with myself.
 
@Lynth: Have you ever thought about becoming one of these players? Really when you get down to it, they get to have lots of mates for a reason, females are attracted to them. Yes people try to vilify it... however in the end they still have way more mates than I will ever have. Players are nothing new, they have been around forever. These days all females know what players are, and what they dress and act like. Yet these players are still getting laid. Why not become one of them? They are doing something right. You are doing something wrong. If that were not the case there would no longer be the class of a player. It will hurt... it hurts me everyday. I had a point of pride that I had not combed my hair in 8 years. Only the people who cut it ever combed it. I now own a comb.... I feel like a piece of crap hypocrite. However, many guys will tell you having a good hair style will get you more ladies. The change will hurt. However, what hurts more? Perpetually being a virgin while longing to have more? Or becoming what you seem to hate?

As for regret.... well... if you accomplish nothing while you are alone then yes you have every reason to regret not having a mate your whole life. However, if you take the time and accomplish something then you can say "I gave up C to accomplish D". Personally I am happy I did not have any relationships while I was dependent on my mom. I would not have been able to have sex whenever I wanted if I had one when I was younger. I had my first girlfriend...thing.. when I was 22. Because I had her I could do so much more. It gave me a new appreciation for why most guys suffer through so much just to snag that one girl who settles for them. Now that I am older I can go out and meet women and I do not have to worry about my family interrogating them. I have money to go on dates. I have a place where I can have as sex as I want to have, in any room. I can now make innocent mistakes because I wanted to be on my own before I started mating.

Anyway, my point is, what you are doing is keeping you a virgin.... maybe it is time for a change.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
Anyway, my point is, what you are doing is keeping you a virgin.... maybe it is time for a change.

Yes. I know definitely need a huge change in my life. I just don't want to feel ashamed afterwards.

It's like, I know I need a change, I know I will feel ashamed about the change, I know there's no way around not feeling ashamed about the change, and I know I need to say "fresia YOU" to the other part of me that feels ashamed for the change.

I feel it's possible for me to change and not feel ashamed but highly unlikely and I want to feel comfortable in my decision to change my ways and not just do it out of anger and frustration.

Basically I need to calm myself down and find out why I am the way I am right now.

I need understanding and closure as to why I deny myself what I strongly desire and why I hate myself so much sometimes.

Then I think I should be able to make the change I so desperately need.



 
Wow!

I just read this thread. I only thought I was cynical before. I have nothing on you people. I'm a flipping optimist in comparison.

After reading this thread, here is a different point of view that some might find as food for thought. So many people think that love is a feeling. I don't think it is.

Caring is the feeling. Love is what you DO.

You may have heard the expression, "Actions speak louder than words." Well, with love, that's true. Someone can tell you that they love you all day long, but if they don't do anything to back up the claim, they're just talking out their ass telling you what they think you want to hear. I guess that's why I don't understand people who stay with abusive partners. If a person says that s/he loves you and then turns around and backhands you...um...in what way, shape or form is that love? Obviously, it's not.

But if you truly care for someone, you show them in a thousand small ways and probably more than a few big ways too. I think people get too hung up on the word love as an emotion. If you're showing the person how much you care, you're loving them. I keep the people in my life who show me how they feel. Everyone else is just paying lip service. Luckily, I don't have many of those in my life.

 
@Lynth: This is the problem, I believe that you only feel ashamed if you fail. If you become happy, what is there to be ashamed of?

Well.... here is one lesson you can never forget friend. A lesson without pain is meaningless. You know it sucks but it is true. If you try to find a way around that pain you will not evolve in the way you need too.
 
Lynth said:
And yes, I know I'm just more respectful and thoughtful towards women and perhaps I'm just waiting for the right person to come along or I'm just not ready or I'm just shy or I need more confidence and blah, blah, blah.....I feel like such a mental case.

God...now that I think about it....it seems I sometimes wish I was one of those guys who had alot of sexual partners and experimented with lots of girls. Basically the stereotypical "player"/potential ******* and that ******* pisses me right off. Guess that's what I get for being honest with myself.

I think I can totally empathise with that feeling.

I've never fooled around with women. I'm a virgin in my late teens, I've had plenty of girls that have been friends with me but never romantically involved.

The one girl I have tried to get with has been playing mind-games (in my estimation anyway) with me and I feel pretty bad at the moment because of that.

Everywhere I look I see nice girls getting with absolutely despicable guys. The "players" you noted and also just general dickheads (people who boast and act really immature when their GFs aren't around). I see a few "nice couples" around, but I think the lopsided weird relationships featuring players are more common.

So I have a very small experience of "love", but so far what I've seen of it suggests to me that it's an exploitative, nasty affair that favours arrogant, selfish males in particular.

I despise "players" and other morons, but at the same time I almost wish I was one, because although I feel morally superior to them, they sure as hell seem to get everything that I never do (a relationship, romantic experience, even popularity for their antics!).

EDIT - Oops, just noticed the date of last post. Sorry about that :(
 
Stephanie said:
Caring is the feeling. Love is what you DO.

You may have heard the expression, "Actions speak louder than words." Well, with love, that's true. Someone can tell you that they love you all day long, but if they don't do anything to back up the claim, they're just talking out their ass telling you what they think you want to hear.

...

But if you truly care for someone, you show them in a thousand small ways and probably more than a few big ways too. I think people get too hung up on the word love as an emotion. If you're showing the person how much you care, you're loving them....


Ditto... 100% Most people don't know what love is or even know how to love or sacrifice themselves for others...

Love is an action, not a feeling.....learn about the real love...it's hard to find in this world but does exist...
 
Love is a word used to gain your trust then kick you down, its also a word to help one control another.
 

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